In Syria, there are no walmarts. Only targets.

Here, now, is the unwritten rule for making a perfect dad joke:

Why did the chicken cross the road?


||to get to the other side||

The zamboni driver from my local ice skating rink has disappeared, but I'm not worried; I'm sure he'll be resurfacing soon.

That's called an anti-joke <:Fluffy:380586684733194241>

@Nope my oldest niece once asked me how that joke was supposed to be funny, and I had to spend the next ten minutes trying to explain subversion of expectations to a ten year old.

<:KEK:795742276549607456> <a:oof:732639641022234717>

A cheeseburger walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Get out! We don't serve food here."

Smirk...

Ay boys

What do you call a cow with no legs

GROUND BEEF

*dad laupghs*

Why are dinosaurs no longer around?

||Because their eggs stink.||

@ScottRauch posted in <#801170177902772254>

What does a 747 make when it bounces?

||Boeing, Boeing, Boeing||

I'm scared

Nope

My teacher told me to turn in my essay and I said "I ain't no snitch"

Wanna hear a story about someone raging?

Nice

Eheh gotem

Yup

Nice

Damn I fell for this too

Goodness I did too.

Son....of...a ...

Jokes on you
I have light mode

https://tenor.com/view/if-you-only-knew-the-power-dark-side-gif-10061896

I'm on dark mode right now
it feels so
weird

Light Mode is so...

https://tenor.com/view/friends-oh-my-eyes-my-eyes-lisa-kudrow-phoebe-shouts-gif-10973109

look at this light mode
so amazing

https://tenor.com/view/the-office-no-god-please-michael-scott-gif-5268083

Now back on topic:

Hostess: Do you have reservations?
Dad: No, I’m confident I want to eat here.

I arrived a little early for my dinner reservation, and the manager asked if I'd mind waiting a little while. I told him that was fine, so he handed me a tray of drinks and told me to take them to table seven.