my dad is a beta

he thinks there is strength in anger

Many people think there is strength in anger because satan glorifies them.

But is just an illusion, mere imagination, a passing smoke.

my mother was legit abused in her previous marriage and she lost her first son when he was 12

so my mother was super protective, and also probably looking for a "safe" guy that she could control

thats my analysis

anger is weakness

Wow

My mom was bullied by her mom, and super frustrated after her divorce and just jumped into my father's arms because he was very persuasive.

oh, children of a second marriage unite!

😄

persuasive beta?

He had no love and yet wanted to control like a tyrant.

sounds like my dad

a bit

From what I observed his love for my mom was purely carnal. The best he ever described her is "cute".

does he believe in God?

Ye, but when I was young he was a hypocrite. He even told me to do not as he does, but as he tells me to do. LOL.

lol same with both of my parents

You lead by example not by words!

That is sad.

you model them

you see them angry you get angry

you learn to handle things the way they do

and their words sound absurd if its not what they're doing because you never seen anyone do it the way they speak

My mom never managed to rise up to my dad's standards so he beat the shit our of her. His dad used to beat his mom too. And he (my dad) idolises his dad.

damn

have you forgiven?

I think forgiveness has multiple layers.

First, is to let go of your anger. That is forgiveness.

But deeper forgiveness is to forget that they even harmed you.

have you apologized for holding it against them?

No...

I don't want to give my parents any power over me.

I just want to let them go.

i think that would take the power away from them

it did for me

and my best friend

my life changed over night when i did it

Can you describe it, please?