February is lust month

November is gluttony

December is greed

True

100 years ago, there was no ambiguity there, lol.

"I have a fear of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them"

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick, she still isn't talking to me.

Nice

Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.

My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else.

🤣

I don’t trust stairs

“Why?”

Because they’re always UP to something

teeeeeeeeeeeee hehehehe

@Official_Logan_Maas they did bagged sprite already 🙂 but dime bags of coke might be better 🙂

Never trust atoms....they make up everything.

My 3 favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

Did you hear about the butcher that backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay 300 dollars to have a garbanzo bean on me

There was a chicken named corn. One day, his owner forgot to feed him. He ate himself

Thats corny

I hate this channel so much but also love it at the same time