That's why I love life like models of snakes and lizards

I threw a live toad on a woman that has a phobia. She cried, I laughed

Yeah, I'm that guy

toads are harmless and eat flies and other pests

😂😂

I stuck the rubber snake in my mom's pillow

I heard her sheik and I laughed

@BIRdOS u freaking squirrel cursed me tonight dammit.

Sitting in my ladder stand, waiting to see deer, a squirrel nest in the tree in front of me about 30ft higher just exploded with fat squirrels going nuts.

They must be mad i haven't given their fat little butts anymore corn

Came to my tree and ran up and down it harassing me all evening

7 am service call. Customer barely speaks a lick of English calls saying no heat .. well cat got down the ducts and fell 2 flights of the house to the basement ducts . he turned heat off and that’s all I heard .. I’ve been around enough cats I made him reach in after it 😹

Was funny looking back at it. I was calling for it and could hear his little paws inside the duct and the poor bastard meowing for help

The vent cover was missing underneath the cabinet and the little shit got down that way.

Pfft

XD

Now that is some funni shit right there

Hey at least they found him. That'd be a terrible way to go

I bought a new fish, he is named Dr. J. Pendleton, he is a doctorate of gender theory and has a master's degree in lesbian dance theory. Pictures soon to come

I also bought a sea urchin that was stuck to the walls at a fish store and it took the people there 5 minutes to peel it off

Did Dr. J. Pendleton double major in underwater basket weaving? I feel like that's a class he'd do well in, with his background.

Triple major actually

and a bachelor's in above water basket weaving

Nice, he's ready to spread the Bernie Sanders initiative then.

yes of course

he's technically from the Carribean so he's a castro guy

but that phase ended a year ago

What kind of fish is he?

a Yellowtail Damsel

no he's from the indo pacific

so a mao person

Nice. Do you keep a saltwater aquarium? Or is it just him for now?

I have a saltwater aquarium

30 gallons

the only other fish in there is Pagliacci the Clownfish (get the play on words?)

Any plans to get more fish soon?

yeah, I don't know exactly what next but if all goes well, I'm going to get a new one

I'll probably have max 4-5 fish

I've also got a bunch of corals