You should go to that place in a motorcycle helmet carrying a lacrosse stick and just swat them down.

i saw 5 attack a kid on my highschool oval once

just in the middle of a soccer game the death swarm came down and he was never heard from again

<:oof:516458979250012160>

I wanna fight these birbs

You have good instincts.

have i told you of the time i punched a hawk

Nah

it flew into our kitchen and started lifting off with mums little shitzu

so i punched it

Nice lol

that's probably the most metal story i have

Oh dude

and one of the only things ive ever punched

Let me tell you about the first time I killed an animal as a kid

<:concern:585703701692284929> <:excuse_me_what_the_fuck:590586125291356165>

I was pissed at my parents for various reasons and so I had escaped on my bike for a while

just to clarify, i did not punch the hawk to death

I eventually came across an injured sparrow (it was grounded)

So I tried catching it to help it, planning on nursing it back to health

But the dam thing bit me and then tried to escape

I caught it after chasing it for a while, and became enraged, felt very misunderstood as a person at the time

You know what I did?

Murdered it?

Gave it to a cat

Threw the damn thing against a brick wall as hard as I could

Instantaneous death

now that's hardly a fun story

more of a sad story

Sperg

Yeeted it into the next life i see

😂

i have almost the same story except i just got bit and then helped the bird

Channeling your inner incel, huh?

Still after that it weighed on my conscience for a while

as it should

Birb was innocent

Also, getting stuck with a bouncer role at family events fucking sucks

"Never again, will I let my anger control me." I swore

Anger issues run strong in my paternal line so yeah

I would swear to that, but my 2 older brothers loved to leave legos out and i frequently stepped on them

Ooof