Man, you really like lavander.

@Shrimpf my ass would smell like boobs to you

I don't think anyone wants near your ass

patrick has a homosexual sex slave locked in a dark room next to his bathroom and the only food the slave intakes is rimjobs given to patrick through a gloryhole to clean him off after a shit

ew

You're jewish, you should be proud of me

no, you have wronged and hassled a merchant

Shit, I should've anticipated you siding with the (((merchant)))

srsly guys after showering apply talc powder to your crotch

keeps it's nice and comfy

Due to having a baby I do have several bottles of baby powder on hand so I might try it one day

how's your baby

ugly and malformed

also please tell me it's a human child and you're not calling your pets your baby

She's alright, been a few problems and been in hospital since last Sunday but nothing serious

Yes it's a human child

did it hurt giving birth or did you choose a c section?

I mean it sounded like it fkn hurt

Nah natural birth

Standing up no less

I read that women get flooded up with hormones so it hurts less

also why standing up

It was easier apparently, gravity just werks

did she end up pooping

Nah she didn't actually

lots of women end up pooping due to the pressure exerted

I got blood all over my feet though

...

Yeah I can imagine, she said it felt just like doing a shit

"oh no my gucci shoes"

Like pressure wise

I was wearing jandals

damn she must take some huge shits

I can't imagine a hospital that would allow standing birth and being so close you're in the splash zone.

if the pressure is comparable to child birth

At least not in the US

Not the same amount of pressure, just the same feeling

@johnfrum why not?

Sounds like it's against procedure and they'd shy away from it because of liability

Nah they didn't care, it was just me, my wife and the midwife

She literally put like foam down on the floor just in case