please, bateman, tell us about your asshole cleansing ritual

>not closing the toilet lid when plushing

Matt

how did you outchink the chinks

and why should i care

well first I turn the water to a mild warm temperature

He got stickers

Can women use bidets for masturbatory reasons?

then I spray it onto my anus

I guess?

>yfw chink ass bidet shocks Pat and kills him

he made a fuss about stickers and is getting more stickers, will get the wrong stickers again, complain again and act like he somehow won a second time

after my outsides are nice and clean I spray the water into my asshole to give myself a sort of enema

Suicide showers mark 2

then I use toilet paper to dry myself off

done

I once got poison ivy on my dick and came from directing a stream of hot water onto it on a the stream setting in the showerhead.

sometime I apply lavender talc power

Man, you really like lavander.

@Shrimpf my ass would smell like boobs to you

I don't think anyone wants near your ass

patrick has a homosexual sex slave locked in a dark room next to his bathroom and the only food the slave intakes is rimjobs given to patrick through a gloryhole to clean him off after a shit

ew

You're jewish, you should be proud of me

no, you have wronged and hassled a merchant

Shit, I should've anticipated you siding with the (((merchant)))

srsly guys after showering apply talc powder to your crotch

keeps it's nice and comfy

Due to having a baby I do have several bottles of baby powder on hand so I might try it one day

how's your baby

ugly and malformed

also please tell me it's a human child and you're not calling your pets your baby

She's alright, been a few problems and been in hospital since last Sunday but nothing serious

Yes it's a human child

did it hurt giving birth or did you choose a c section?

I mean it sounded like it fkn hurt

Nah natural birth

Standing up no less

I read that women get flooded up with hormones so it hurts less

also why standing up

It was easier apparently, gravity just werks