I know all of you fucking niggers poop with your phones.

>yfw poop particles on literally everything

DID YOU KNOW

It's about concentration

>tfw there's still people trying to sell iPhone 5 on Facebook for $250

>not using a bidet

nothing like power washing your asshole with a hand held bidet

I did it guys

Bullshit, no one has a bidet not even euros anymore

I out chinked a chink

YOU SHOULD HAVE TOOTHBRUSHES AT LEAST 15 FEET AWAY FROM THE TOILET IF YOU FLUSH WITH THE LID OPEN AS THE TOILET FLUSH SPREADS POOP PARTICLE ALL ACROSS THE ROOM

you can even give yourself an enema by spraying the water directly into your ass

please, bateman, tell us about your asshole cleansing ritual

>not closing the toilet lid when plushing

Matt

how did you outchink the chinks

and why should i care

well first I turn the water to a mild warm temperature

He got stickers

Can women use bidets for masturbatory reasons?

then I spray it onto my anus

I guess?

>yfw chink ass bidet shocks Pat and kills him

he made a fuss about stickers and is getting more stickers, will get the wrong stickers again, complain again and act like he somehow won a second time

after my outsides are nice and clean I spray the water into my asshole to give myself a sort of enema

Suicide showers mark 2

then I use toilet paper to dry myself off

done

I once got poison ivy on my dick and came from directing a stream of hot water onto it on a the stream setting in the showerhead.

sometime I apply lavender talc power

Man, you really like lavander.

@Shrimpf my ass would smell like boobs to you

I don't think anyone wants near your ass

patrick has a homosexual sex slave locked in a dark room next to his bathroom and the only food the slave intakes is rimjobs given to patrick through a gloryhole to clean him off after a shit

ew

You're jewish, you should be proud of me

no, you have wronged and hassled a merchant

Shit, I should've anticipated you siding with the (((merchant)))

srsly guys after showering apply talc powder to your crotch

keeps it's nice and comfy

Due to having a baby I do have several bottles of baby powder on hand so I might try it one day