my true self

behind all that i built

well it makes sense, this is true of most people

like with time

we build upon stuff

to make who we are

yea

the feeling is total vulnnerabiility

like nothing u can do

thast why i thought i would die lol

i thought they are coming for me

yea, people often don't want to face their secrets, hence burying them deep down and if they risk being revealed causes them fear or anxiety

but God sees everything, and acknowledging them at the least to God is good

i think by acknnoledging them to god

u are also ackonledginig to urrself

which is jsudt as important

yea that's a good way to look at it

i do belive i guess at my basic core

somewhat

but my other part of my mind

doesnt want to belivie

the child in me belives

but the adult maybe

doesnt

hmmm

i wonder not to be JLP cliche, but what your mom is like, wonder if it's mom put a false identity in you, one full of secrets and avoidance, and so you are trying to break that to realize who you really are?

but maybe i just been watching too much JLP Show lately lol

well

tbh

i grew up in not very good conditions

and i built up alot of anger inside

more than u can imagine

i almost went insane

i had to do speecches in class in uni

and i cried in front of the class

cuz i felt people can see past my barrier

i guess its simlar

i felt naked

yea that makes sense

and couldnt stop crying

i had to face