Message from @TheGreatShiniGami

Discord ID: 402799753017950219


2018-01-16 12:20:20 UTC  

That's when it happened. Fate struck. Right after I had gotten inside and turned the NES on; Susan–old man's fucktoy/pill connect at the time–came in, shouting at me how Edd was going to die and it was all my fault. The lawnmower had run over his leg, nearly cleaving his foot in two and severing his fourth toe completely from his right foot. So; we sped to RMC hospital in Anniston, with me, crying and squeezing his foot to keep him from bleeding out. Susan just dropped us off there; left us with no one telling me "This is all your fault; you fix it, his blood is on your hands." If it weren't for my eidetic memory and my knowledge of my Mother's family's information; he'd have just bled out since they have to contact a parent to admit a minor into care if they aren't brought in an ambulance. One could say; that I never left that hospital lobby. I've been plagued with constant suicidal ideation ever since then.

2018-01-16 12:20:32 UTC  

@Captain Lauri Törni Talking does nothing for me. The outpouring is endless.

2018-01-16 12:20:39 UTC  

It just flows and flows and flows and flows.

2018-01-16 12:20:41 UTC  

All consuming.

2018-01-16 12:20:44 UTC  

reading pastebin

2018-01-16 12:20:50 UTC  

What do you think I've been doing this entire time?

2018-01-16 12:21:00 UTC  

"since our old man is the worst of all people."

throw him the cheap gun and say "draw" then point a bb gun at him

2018-01-16 12:21:11 UTC  

@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ Doesn't work that way.

2018-01-16 12:21:15 UTC  

Old Man isn't around anymore.

2018-01-16 12:21:29 UTC  

And of course. Cowardice.

2018-01-16 12:21:32 UTC  

You are the master of your fate, the Captain of your soul

2018-01-16 12:21:38 UTC  
2018-01-16 12:21:43 UTC  

You do what you believe is right

2018-01-16 12:21:54 UTC  

@Captain Lauri Törni What I believe is right is that all life should die.

2018-01-16 12:21:59 UTC  

Do you get it yet?

2018-01-16 12:22:05 UTC  

Yes you are how can not be

2018-01-16 12:22:09 UTC  

There is no mastering fate. There is no captaining soul.

2018-01-16 12:22:14 UTC  

There is only Eternal Misery.

2018-01-16 12:22:17 UTC  

There is only punishment.

2018-01-16 12:22:20 UTC  

There is only the Voices.

2018-01-16 12:22:24 UTC  

Do you get it yet?

2018-01-16 12:22:31 UTC  

No talking ever helps. It all just makes me hate myself worse.

2018-01-16 12:22:44 UTC  

@Captain Lauri Törni Do. You. Get. It. Yet?

2018-01-16 12:23:00 UTC  

Yes

2018-01-16 12:23:01 UTC  

How I can not be is because the Voices rule all.

2018-01-16 12:23:12 UTC  

They see all. They hear all. They know all. They know what I think before I think it.

2018-01-16 12:23:19 UTC  

Then they scream, then the curse starts. Then the flashbacks start.

2018-01-16 12:23:21 UTC  

Then things get worse.

2018-01-16 12:23:23 UTC  

Then I fail again.

2018-01-16 12:23:29 UTC  

And the process repeats.

2018-01-16 12:23:33 UTC  

Suicide is my only option.

2018-01-16 12:23:42 UTC  

And I can't even take that because I'm too cowardly to kill myself.

2018-01-16 12:23:55 UTC  

so you got blamed for a kid's foot being cut off and you got ptsd

2018-01-16 12:24:18 UTC  

did they reattach his foot or does he have one of those spring things and run marathons now?

2018-01-16 12:24:29 UTC  

I'd say forget about it let it go it wasn't your fault

2018-01-16 12:24:32 UTC  

@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ He only got one toe cut off and the rest was mangled.

2018-01-16 12:24:35 UTC  

You didn't really read it, did you?

2018-01-16 12:24:39 UTC  
2018-01-16 12:24:41 UTC  

The Voices won't let me.

2018-01-16 12:24:52 UTC  

I can't forget about it. If I try to forget about it, it gets worse.

2018-01-16 12:24:54 UTC  

I get punished.