Message from @TheGreatShiniGami
Discord ID: 402799753017950219
That's when it happened. Fate struck. Right after I had gotten inside and turned the NES on; Susan–old man's fucktoy/pill connect at the time–came in, shouting at me how Edd was going to die and it was all my fault. The lawnmower had run over his leg, nearly cleaving his foot in two and severing his fourth toe completely from his right foot. So; we sped to RMC hospital in Anniston, with me, crying and squeezing his foot to keep him from bleeding out. Susan just dropped us off there; left us with no one telling me "This is all your fault; you fix it, his blood is on your hands." If it weren't for my eidetic memory and my knowledge of my Mother's family's information; he'd have just bled out since they have to contact a parent to admit a minor into care if they aren't brought in an ambulance. One could say; that I never left that hospital lobby. I've been plagued with constant suicidal ideation ever since then.
@Captain Lauri Törni Talking does nothing for me. The outpouring is endless.
It just flows and flows and flows and flows.
All consuming.
reading pastebin
What do you think I've been doing this entire time?
"since our old man is the worst of all people."
throw him the cheap gun and say "draw" then point a bb gun at him
@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ Doesn't work that way.
Old Man isn't around anymore.
And of course. Cowardice.
You are the master of your fate, the Captain of your soul
@Captain Lauri Törni No, I'm not.
You do what you believe is right
@Captain Lauri Törni What I believe is right is that all life should die.
Do you get it yet?
Yes you are how can not be
There is no mastering fate. There is no captaining soul.
There is only Eternal Misery.
There is only punishment.
There is only the Voices.
No talking ever helps. It all just makes me hate myself worse.
@Captain Lauri Törni Do. You. Get. It. Yet?
Yes
How I can not be is because the Voices rule all.
They see all. They hear all. They know all. They know what I think before I think it.
Then they scream, then the curse starts. Then the flashbacks start.
Then things get worse.
Then I fail again.
And the process repeats.
Suicide is my only option.
And I can't even take that because I'm too cowardly to kill myself.
so you got blamed for a kid's foot being cut off and you got ptsd
did they reattach his foot or does he have one of those spring things and run marathons now?
I'd say forget about it let it go it wasn't your fault
@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ He only got one toe cut off and the rest was mangled.
You didn't really read it, did you?
@Captain Lauri Törni I can't.
The Voices won't let me.
I can't forget about it. If I try to forget about it, it gets worse.
I get punished.