There is only Eternal Misery.

There is only punishment.

There is only the Voices.

Do you get it yet?

No talking ever helps. It all just makes me hate myself worse.

@Captain Lauri Törni Do. You. Get. It. Yet?

Yes

How I can not be is because the Voices rule all.

They see all. They hear all. They know all. They know what I think before I think it.

Then they scream, then the curse starts. Then the flashbacks start.

Then things get worse.

Then I fail again.

And the process repeats.

Suicide is my only option.

And I can't even take that because I'm too cowardly to kill myself.

so you got blamed for a kid's foot being cut off and you got ptsd

did they reattach his foot or does he have one of those spring things and run marathons now?

I'd say forget about it let it go it wasn't your fault

@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ He only got one toe cut off and the rest was mangled.

You didn't really read it, did you?

@Captain Lauri Törni I can't.

The Voices won't let me.

I can't forget about it. If I try to forget about it, it gets worse.

I get punished.

@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ The kid was my younger brother.

**You REALLY didn't read it, did you?!**

I read the little summary and then got back tot he pastebin

slow because it's late here

Then why do you get details wrong?

Nothing can ever be let go. The Voices won't let me.

"He would make claims like that he was the great-great-great grandson of Jesus and the Indians; and that my maternal Grandfather was the incarnation of Satan."

possible genetic disease

I relive the shit every night, all night. Whenever I work.

@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ More proof that I should kill myself.

If it's genetic, there's no fixing it or treating it.

there's research going into treating PTSD by destroying memories on purpose

No life I could ever live would be worth living.

one method for combat vets is to force them to not sleep after actions

@☯Ultra Supreme Elder Lord☯ The Voices won't let me. They keep a perfect record of everything.

so that memories are poorl;y recorded

there are probably more brutal methods of removing memories

I didn't sleep after Lawnmower day. But I still remember every detail.