I accidentally locked myself out of my house

Nice

<:laugh:583238348077006869>

Hide a key near your house

Specifically somewhere that is hard to find and not cliche

eh if you live in a more spread out neighborhood you can pull off putting a spare in a small box near the door

Yeah I did hide one inside a tree but the tree grew around it and it’s inaccessible

Just carry one in your asshole at all times

simple fix really

Tru^

Have you considered an electronic lock like garage opener or keypad-key lock

butthole key

Hm

Have you considered sex?

Perhaps inserting a gloryhole as your entrance to your house

may prove beneficial

Tru

*Fuck your house to gain entrance*

electronic locks are bad

exactly why gloryholes

I had my sister bring a key over

are indisputable perfect defenses

calibrate it to a specific dick length and girth too

that would make it an impenetrable defense

exactly

only a specific dick length and girth could open the lock

What if someone has the same dick as you?

dick scanner

improbable

same length AND girth?

an unlikely occurence, but one that merits the usage of a dick scanner

Do you have to be erect in order for it to work?

Or flaccid?

i would assume erect

if it were set to flaccid growers would have a hard time

flaccid

not erect

think of our seniors

who cant get it up

0 iq capitalist

can't capitalize on their customers