@FloridaManBoohajideen
Same here
As long as you put in honest work you're entitled to it

I do have a problem with those that never even worked

You best bet I applied

Plus the feds are matching unemployment for the next two months

Possibly longer

My friends back home are making more money than they ever did employed

1000 bucks a week

Plus the daddy war bucks check

Well, y'all know depression

A lot of people I know have it as well

But none of them have of has any kind of existencial crisis

Its frustrating

Like, I get it, don't think about it

As I said earlier, im improving

But usually it hits like a bulldozer in a city of Colorado

I cannot stop worrying about, even if I try not to

Whatre you doing to work on it?

^I feel that on a spiritual level

So y'all know about my situation
Well
It got more complicated
So I told my friend my feelings and told her that whatever she decided was fine by me


And she said she didn't want to lose me but that she's also not sure


Which is the vaguest thing in the world

Then she went and hand made me a mask, like not with her sewing machine but all by hand

Honestly I think I'd be fine with just leaving everything in the past but at this point I think I'll just let it play out and try to be amicable but no more

She's in a relationship still right?

@hootenanny4569 trying to find something that makes sense

no success

well, ironically the only idea that makes sense for me is that nothing makes sense at all

Watchu got?

Well

My cousin commited suicide last christmas and my uncle died of a heart attack 2 months

Its been bugging me out

Thinking too much about death

Acctually I've been thinking about it before they died

It just making it worse

Thanks to all folks around here, I changed my mindset in a good degree

But I still have much to change, lot of things still bother me a lot

Just take it day by day king. Even an inch is progress

Yeah, but my skepticism ain't helping

I can't take advices

Don't get wrong, I love all the people who helps me

But somehow advices can't get through my head

In a lack o better words

Its something that takes time. I dont tell many people but for years I struggled with suicide. What ended up getting me out of it was at 15 I had a semiserious attempt over video call with my friend. Htold the school guidance counceler and they recommended I take some time off, about a week after I got checked into a mental health clinic and spent a week in inpatient, then 2 weeks outpatient. In that time I met alot of people who needed to be there and it made me realize that I didnt. The other way I fought this was that I wanted to join the Corps (ended up going Army) and I had to be mental hospital free for at least 2 years before I could join (ended up just not telling them). I still think about it once in a while but its nothing that will cause me to off myself. Idk if this helps and tbh I got lucky but I just want you to know that your not alone and you have allies

It be like that sometimes. We can give you all the advice in the world, but its up to you to see the value in it and apply it