This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
[Premeditated Shit]
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
[Shitzopherenia]
Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
[Energizer] Vs. [Duracell] Shit
Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
[The Power Dump] Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The [Liquid Plumber] Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.)
[The Spinal Tap] Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little [round ones] that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit
Also sometimes referred to as "The [Toxic Dump]". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit
