Tailed Feature (Discord ID: 297345131848400897), page 1

Hello

How are we all this not-so-fine day?

My man flu is getting worse. I wish it'd hurry up and just consume me.

Even if we went outside it wouldn't help because it's always cloudy.

I get ill a lot because I work with kids.

I'm not in childcare.

Dozens of your ilk.

Not that I'm aware of.

I've never had a flu shot.

Maybe I'm not entitled to one because I'm only contracted, which is dumb because I come into contact with more kids than teachers do, lol.

@Deleted User No.

@Deleted User "vulnerable" people get it for free, the elderly, young kids, asthmatics etc.

I'm not elderly enough yet.

Don't make me hit you with my cane.

You laugh but I actually have a Zulu spear and shield.

I don't think scrotums (scroti?) can get goosebumps.

I'd happily have my balls removed. They serve no purpose and just get in the way.

If it was torsion you'd be in absolute agony and dead by now.

@Deleted User Hell no.

I've already asked if I can have the snip but apparently I'm too young.

I could probably get it done private.

I don't really need it done anyway, can't get a sock pregnant.

Bacon time.

@coattailsandbowties come git

Slow day today, @Gebbin?

Legs > tits and ass

Red heads are the best.

One of my tutors at university was only a few years older than me and a redhead, goddamn I'd have wrecked her.

I literally can't cook. Literally.

We all noticed it, faggot.

@Octavia me

Not really, no.

@Dimorac How's it going man?

Shit dude, sorry to hear that.

I'll come down, be your wingman.

Not that you need one.

Morning.

👌

mods

Or a Wotsit.

11/9 tbf

@Dimorac

Cats are shit. But still need fed.

@Niko Haven't you ever seen me wearing it before?

@Niko I don't blame you. But yes I have the mask. Tried getting Markus to wear it but he changed his mind.

@Niko I have video of him wearing the hat at least.

I'll get him to wear it eventually.

True.

http://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/361290189148-0-1/s-l1000.jpg

@Mandy Oof, scat boi.

what

What is tiktok

@sweatercowsandsass Oh dear.

Bronson's a wee shite.

Oof, nice edit.

Hat? I don't remember a hat. 😂

Post them all here and tag Ruger in it. @OfficerOmnicide

@Allegian I made it YouTube friendly.

@ him and find out

Sometimes I wonder why whiteys even exist

Oh that hat. Yeah, send it. 😂

Ditto.

Bitch.

❤

"henlo" as I believe the kids say these days.

Cease.

beep beep lettuce

@󠀀󠀀AK Not true, every whitey is in a known state of retardation.

Tex got rank.

I liked being blue. Those were the days.

Da ba dee?

tbf my Meme Slut rank has no real meaning.

I didn't earn it *traditionally* is what I mean. But thank you for the kind words.

@󠀀󠀀AK Thanks. How much do I owe you?

Oof.

@OfficerOmnicide Dank is the puppet of Buddha. Buddha is the puppet of me.

@󠀀󠀀AK

Arrest you.

Do you have the gay

Aw.

@Turtle Thanks.

@soup dad Hi, I'm a scientist.

Need a Tailed Feature emoji tbh.

Oh shit that means effort.

Sargon is debating an ancap rn.

lulz

Nah they're being civil tbh.

someone say kilt

ken that's how I say killed

It would be didnae

not dinnae

Dinnae is don't, in Scotland. Didnae is didn't.

@Deleted User git tae fuck

I'm Tailed

I'm not a father but I'm several people's daddy

I'm not fat.

Really can't be hooped with work tomorrow

Morning.

So who won the election or whatever

Doesn't narrow it down.

Doom metal is my favourite.

Merkelinium

Wulfram is a bit furry-sounding.

Maybe with transhumanism.

So US polling lasts overnight?

Or is it because of time zones

Like the GELFs in the Red Dwarf books. They created a a lifeform that was the size/shape of a football goal for Scotland's national team and we still didn't qualify.

Is that what killed him?

Looks more scared/angry to me.

cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt

I've seen your puppies.

I've been wearing the same shoes for about 14 years.

@coattailsandbowties Are you smol?

@Mandy I'll give you more inches. hmu bb

@Tea Not far off tbh.

@Tea I've been wearing the same shoes for 14 years so probably.

@Deleted User I fixed them.

There's this girl I like and she told me she's getting this dress, can't wait to see her in it. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WAREHOUSE-RARE-ICONIC-TARTAN-CHECK-WIGGLE-PENCIL-DRESS-VINTAGE-HOURGLASS-8/153238806224

@Tea That's the plan.

I call them baffies, you cunt.

Naw I'm just truly Scottish. Unlike you weegie fakes.

Anything west of Livingston is pretty much Weeg.

@Tea Embra isn't proper Scottish either.

And tourists.

I'm just wearing my kilt to the wedding. As usual.

rekt

will the gayness ever end

<:kys:437239826392154112>

I want chocolate.

Just chocolate.

meh

Have you had the 95% cocoa chocolate?

It tastes like earwax.

You can put it in stew.

Because it's bitter as fuck.

Yeah the guy who gave me some said he used it with beef.

Something I've been working on.

Kiwi fruit. A gay New Zealander.

what

Evening -_-

You're a day late

All Whiteys are slow, in one way or another.

Cunt card.

Copper wire was invented by two Jews fighting over a penny.

What would happen if no one voted?

Soy wave.

@AstroTorch what's the difference

post ironic beardcore

Morning.

Every month is no shave for me.

My moustache doesn't join in the middle, it's so annoying.

Hello

Brian Peppers is in a wheelchair

YTMND

Aye

Those were the days

I'm trying to remember the song they used for him

...look at him

Yeah that's it. XD

I just found a Brian Peppers gif collection on YT

I'm pretty sure there were rumours about his death even in the YTMND days

I have to go pick up my car from the garage.

Hopefully.

I've had an issue with the engine cutting out on occasion... they reckon they've fixed it but we'll have to see. Hopefully they have because it got its MOT done at the same time which required quite a few bits and pieces being done. If it keeps cutting out then I've wasted money putting it through the MOT.

@Dimorac

Nah it's a mate of mine, he's a good dude. But he did say he was baffled by the engine cutting out so if it does it again I'll probably have to take it elsewhere for a 2nd opinion.

I reckon it's an electric fault. When you dip the clutch the engine sometimes cuts out as though you've turned off the ignition. Really odd.

The speedometer needle also drops just before it happens.

15 years.

@Dimorac Hopefully it'll be ok, I'll contact you if it hasn't been fixed. Cheers lod. 🙂

👌

Will do.

You're a good boi, Dim.

Sigh.

Megadeth > Metallica

I'm online a lot

Yeah we were talking about Brian Peppers a few hours ago.

Anyway @rart you just cheered me up a bit.

Gay shit.

Get PFP faggot

Better safe than sorry. Ban the spergy loli furry.

Sometimes I wish I was a mod. Then I remember I'd probably ban everyone.

Out of love.

❤

"Deleting the server out of rape" doesn't make sense as a sentence.

Hello @coattailsandbowties

Make me mod so I can ban these unfunny cunts.

@T e x I posted some music for you in <#418503038781620255> once you've had a wank over those tiddies.

Is that Nicholas II or George V?

I'm thirsty but I'm not a fucking loser about it.

I don't want to see your ass.

That doesn't mean I don't want to see other things. 😏

bantz @coattailsandbowties

I don't like blowjobs.

Why does it bother you? It's not like you're ever going to give me one. 😂

Meh. They don't do anything for me.

I've never given a blowjob because I'm not gay.

My last relationship contained no oral either. Even though I like eating out pussy. :3

@Questgiver Have you ever considered letting the Lord into your *rectal cavity*?

You jerk it to real kids instead. Paedo.

I think there needs to be a set time when Whiteys can't post. Like 24 hours a day.

Torch have you actually done it? 😂

@AstroTorch You madlad. You actually did it? 😂

That's cool, Torch. We all need a bit of quiet time.

You can thank me later, Whiteys.

youdontsay.jpg

I know I'm a retard but I'm not retarded.

I'm kidding, I have very active almonds, many wrinkles.

And that's just my balls.

*Active*.

I was under the impression the lovely Manderson was taken.

I should probably add notes to people.

I believe you have a relevant screencap, @coattailsandbowties

The one about my thirstiness.

What a shame!

I need to stop pulling my beard hairs out.

Maundy

I'm a fucking disgrace.

Nah I just caught sight of myself in the mirror. My clothes have holes in them and I look like a tramp.

True.

Might wear my kilt to work tomorrow.

Letting the balls hang free.

Let's be honest, kilts are preferable to tartan trousers.

@Deleted User What can I say, I like living on the edge.

lol

They can have it.

^

Trousers.