How's it going

Hey guys how's it going

Anyone else feeling really lost lately?

Like I just dropped out of college and got nowhere to go

Working at a nursing home washing dishes at night and that's it

I know and I try to have that mindset but for some reason I just feel terrible all the time @Deleted User

Maybe that's what I need to do

I've been meaning to start going to daily mass but I never wake up early enough

I feel the same, which is why I've been trying to physically exert myself

But failing, lol

Also the having no friends that you can actually relate to part sucks a bit as well

I couldn't handle people at college

It was too chaotic for me

And I didn't feel like I should be giving so much money to an institution that allowed my flatmates to debase themselves and cause so much trouble

There were also occasions of sin everywhere

My college was pretty far from home

Most people don't see it that way

They just look forward to the parties and the sex

I couldn't take it anymore

I kinda wish I hadn't left but at the time it seemed like the only option

I got so fed up depressed and angry one night I smashed a mirror and cut my hand real bad

I feel like I'm never gonna get married because I couldn't handle atomization and constant separation from my future family

Finding a good woman without a career is impossible

It all seems so hopeless I feel like all the paths lead to dead end

Bruh I have been through the wringer these past months

Thank you though @Astro

People think too much about their kids getting all the latest plastic toys and not enough about actually spending quality time with them

My dad worked too much when I was a kid and never taught me how to do anything, yet I had this excess of toys and games that I never even touched

A total waste

Wish I could've traded that nonsense for some quality time with him

Now I'm 20 and my father is still a borderline stranger to me in a lot of ways

He ran for political office and won and now I don't see him *at all*

I was never abused and my parents did instill good values in me, but there are certain things they never protected me from

This society man

One of the things that made me snap in college was this girl who wouldn't leave me alone and kept trying to use me as some emotional support or smth, I felt bad for her because she was molested but she also fornicated with a different guy every single night

So true

I learned that the hard way

I never even touched her and she started sending me extremely deranged things

She sent me pedophilic images

Like not naked children or anything but drawings of naked men trying to touch children and things like that

She would actually draw things like that

That ship has sailed

I let her get the best of me

She made me snap and I smashed a mirror and cut my hand

@Wrath I smashed it without punching it and it still managed to cut my hand without it being deliberate

But at the time I did want to cut myself so

I never had an urge like that before

@SUPER MALE VITALITY™ what do you mean

Nah

You spent 3 years with her?

In a relationship?

Bottom line is I want to leave that stuff behind me

Sounds like me rn

Except it was only several months

Wow so I'm not alone

I think what happened to me was definitely demonic

I started believing I was as evil as her

I was never full lefty thankfully

I got a good taste of what it really was all about pretty early

Watching your best friend become a tranny at 15 years old is a pretty redpilling experience

He was also molested and told me about it

@JoeyJoestar1337 Who wouldn't

I flipped at my Catholic YA group and it got so bad my priest had to disband it

There was a fag there openly talking about bathroom hookups and I lost it

With today's youth they're degenerate as well

I keep thinking I should leave New Jersey and go to Nebraska or something but other times I think it wouldn't be any better

Or even Pennsylvania

I stay here only because I realize it could be a lot worse

But I also have a lot of baggage here

I just need some irl companionship badly

But like, even my few remaining friends have left me in the dust

Eh that wouldn't accomplish anything

I couldn't convert to Protestantism because I know it's false

But like, even in my town, there are prot churches in so much better condition than my own

@SUPER MALE VITALITY™ So true

The Catholic churches outside of a nearby FSSP chapel I don't go to enough are totally dead

Also I'm too socially anxious to get involved in a church group at this point

I don't receive Communion enough

St Dominic

Anyone have their own prayers that they recite

I have a mantra I use whenever I feel uncertain, "Christ be with me, be near me, protect me, and guide me"

No I made it myself

If it resembles something that already exists that'd be kind of cool

Link?

I hate the feeling of stagnation

That's what I feel like I've been going lately

I've been doing daily rosaries for about six months now, and I've all but beaten my problems with chastity, but now I'm not sure how to progress

Who's worshiping senses?

I know the basics

Both

I made huge progress in the former from April - August though

@SUPER MALE VITALITY™ Honestly, it's fear

Fear that I'll fall into sin again, that I'll always be a loser, that the world is getting worse, that my family and friends are going to hell, etc

And where praying the rosary was an act of passion for God a few months ago, it's almost an act of fear now

I'm afraid to miss a day

@Wrath I trust God, I just don't trust myself

I'm having a hard time reading what God wants from me rn though

For a good few months, even though they were rough, I felt I heard Him loud and clear, now almost not at all

Which is why I'm so reluctant to move in any particular direction

But I'm also suffering from this, it's like a paralysis