What would you recommend to someone living in a country where self defense is illegal?

pepper spray is illegal.

Riding bikes in groups more than 4 is illegal.

If you are punched, you are not allowed to fight back, legally.

If someone breaks into your house, you are again not allowed to hurt them in any way and if they art hurt on your property it is your own fault.

Australia.

Rules are mostly ignored in the country though.

Spray paint is also illegal unless you have a license. And art going to some form of art presentation.

Illegal.

@Danarchy Might actually work.

Dog is still probably the best home defense.

Worst comes to worst I'll just go to the country and stay with someone who has one of their ancestor's old army rifles.

@Danarchy No, but if it is used as a weapon or as self defense it is.

Guns must be kept, unless being used for hunting or at a shooting range, or for security/police work dissassembled in a safe with ammunition in a seperate safe.

I guess.

No harm in getting fit, and I have steel toes.

Of course body armour of any form is also illegal, and very hard to get even illegally.

@Tee CA Enough do, sports are a lot more popular here. I've never really been fit enough for people to want to play with me though.

Punching sharks is frowned upon.

Yeah, I've been making a start.

3 years ago I was fat, I'm a skinny cunt now, with some muscle growing.

"Empire"

@D3VNT
Mate, if I die via shark tooth I'll be happy.

Also shark teeth are serated, hard to cut a neck with.

Swiss army knife would be better honestly... Except you can't take them into anywhere.

@Tee CA There's gotta be at least one shark that needs to be culled...

No.

Nah, I have a flat Australian accent with some brit and Irish poping up occasionally.

City kid.

Honestly, bogan accents are worse than Anglo or American australian accents.

8-9

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUfTaey7NGk

This is Australian culture in it's purest form.
The Germanic ones are Bogans, Mediterranean are wogs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOXQ-xpi6tk

Also this.

They're fucking amazing.
Insane, constant spouting bullshit, I sweat they have no filter.

Man, that mum is fucking retarded.

Always more available!
Australian culture, it's uhhh... there I guess.

@Tee CA It's good, avoid Melbourne unless you find Los angeles to be too right wing for your taste.

@Tee CA It has an unironic gay nationalist movement.

The actually fully communist party holds not irregular meetings.
They have massive gatherings where they publicly burn the flag.

They refer to our national holiday as "Invasion day"

Not "gay nationalists" gay seperatism.
They want gay people to secede and start their own nation of gays.

They want a rainbow flag melbourne autonamous socialist republic.

This is a real thing.

It's the cultural equivalent of a nuclear fallout zone.

Australia is rather culturally vacuous at anything above very low culture.

We have goon bags, skatepark fights, stupid jokes and... everything else is borrowed.

Except for the "racist" stuff.

EUREKA REBELLION!

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f4/Theeurekaflag.jpg/300px-Theeurekaflag.jpg

It's from that time we tried to leave the british empire because the british chinese people in.

After destroying the rebellion they proceeded to ban chinese immigration australia wide.

Which eventually became the white australia policy after federation.

Which was thrown out in the late sixties.

Alright, I'll give you the rundown from the top? @Tee CA

So after the Americans declared independence, the UK was poor as fuck, weak as fuck and scared as fuck, and banned from starting conquering any new places which had "A people living as a nation" in them.

Meanwhile CAPTAIN COOK a navigator who had shown great skill in the seven years war (UK and France fought over who should own Quebec basically) had shown and interest in mapping out the southern hemisphere.

Mostly to get a good view of a solar eclipse so he could map out the true circumference of the earth. (He has also known for being poor with social stuff and incapable of keeping secrets, quite possibly autism).

And the british saw this as an opportunity:
Let him map out the "Unknown continent" south of indonesia that they knew about but never bothered to check on, get some information on the nature of the earth and perhaps gain a new colony in the process.

Now this was all fine and dandy more or less, cook found australia, sailed into cook's landing and sydney harbor, Banks his biologist found a buncha stuff and they revisited a few times.

There was one issue:
The british couldn't colonize anywhere "inhabited", and there was a population living here.

The australian aboriginals, usually seen today begging outside a petrol station.

Cook declared "Terra Nullius" that Australia was uninhabited and listed the Australian aboriginals as "Native Fauna", legally and biologically animals.

And then colonization started with the convict fleets.

Britains economy was fucked, fucked economy produces crime, crime means overflowing prisons.
So they sent all the criminals to australia.

There were a few runaways, except the continent is basically uninhabitable so they either returned or died quicksmart.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c0/Australian_states_history_07.gif

Early state borders arose, each semi independent colonies, and with their own immigration, trade and governors (This included new zealand at the time).

Yes, but you also have to declare the arabs non human and hand out hunting permits to kill them as pests.

Bringing us to the next part:
Near complete extermination of the australian aboriginals.

They were "vermin and pests" in our property, hunting permits were given, they were slaughtered and broken. Australia was the white man's land.

Over time the states moved towards federation (Except new zealand the sheep fucking communists they are) and on January the first 1900 Australia was born! To a rousing "Okay, that's cool i guess" from the international community.

Also there's bush rangers, that doesn't lead into much but it's super important culturally.

http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/media/images/65367000/jpg/_65367942_kelly_comp464.jpg
This cunt, ned kelly went around in a full armoured bullet proof suit robbing stage coaches.
Also was known to save lives, a folk hero akin to American cowboys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwvazMc5EfE
And this was the "Unofficial australian anthem" declined for not being official enough in favour of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8tswkr25A0
This shit they made me sing every day in primary school.

Over time things began to change.
The gold rush occured when gold was found, Eureka grow into a thriving gold mining town and immigrants european and... otherwise flooded to our beautiful shores.

Sydney was, for a time the largest city in the southern hemisphere.

And over time this began to breed contempt.

Lots of it, massive amounts, Australia is a mining country, once gold now coal.

http://www.nma.gov.au/__data/assets/image/0004/487327/Bulletin-1886-cartoon-685wV2.jpg

The chinese were hated, coming solely as men, often picking the leftover of other miners and otherwise seeking to scam Australians.

This was generally despised along with some good old fashioned racism.

http://www.socialistpartyaustralia.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Eureka-1-650x366.jpg

Leading to the Eureka revolt, where we tried to revolt from british rule so as to stop chinese immigration to our lands.


It failed, of course, but ultimately resulted in the White Australia policy.

http://images-2.domain.com.au/2013/08/05/4630830/120813_03_Immigration-620x349.jpg

This, combined with the aboriginal mistreatment took up %90 of my history education in school.

It also let my grandparents immigrate here, since they made it easier for white people to come over.

Even had a prime minister who said publicly "Two wongs don't make a white"

Shitposting is a national tradition, like it's not online.

With the exception of full lefties everyone I know calls their mum a cunt.

http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/46/4610/SLIFG00Z/posters/the-sydney-harbour-bridge-during-construction-in-sydney-new-south-wales-australia.jpg

Sydney harbour bridge, for a while our pride and joy, largest bridge in the world.
Many died in it's construction.

And when it opened a socialist rode up on a horse and illegally cut the ribbon because he felt he was unfairly denied the opening ceremony.

@Tee CA Then she's a cunt.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/40/Sydney_Opera_House_Sails.jpg

Also the Sydney opera house.
Built to honour the Australian aboriginal tradition of dreamtime or something via the shells that were once found.

I dunno, danish guy built it I think, looks cool.

After that...

Repealment of white Australia policy.

The Stolen generation.
Where we figured the best way to address income inequality and abuse in the aboriginal communities was to steal their kids and tell them they weren't aboriginal.

Oh!

How could I forget!

The war!

https://www.awm.gov.au/sites/default/files/Australia-Special-01-019-550x390.jpg

The Diggers!

We fought as Anzacs under the british empire, a military force of Australian and New Zealand Army Corps.

We were known as diggers because of a stupid strategy in which we would dig under the german trenches, plant explosives and kill them via blowing them up from under.

http://www.gallipoli.gov.au/images/home/large/AWM7965_nek_painting-L.jpg
And Gallipoli.

Our first military encounter, on the shores of the dardanelles, the British gave us the wrong instructions on where to land.

We landed on a hillside in turkey, and were mowed down line after line. Cut down while being told not to retreat.

This is our military tradition, to march onwards to certain doom while an inept commander barks conflicting orders at you.
We mourn, there is very little victory in our military tradition, more remembrance.

Lest we forget.

Yeah, never saw it coming did they.

Bringing us into... Vietnam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urtiyp-G6jY

I've heard a story that the Australian army plays this to every new recruit, I would believe it.

We were more suited to forest combat than most, and our section of nam was a bit more peaceful.

Of course the US dropped 10 times the amount of agent orange on us for some dumbfuck reason.

Nam ended, we didn't have as much of a hippie movement but it reached here.