**Bastard**: Besides the usual usages of a child born [out of wedlock] and a suitable name for someone you don’t like, there are other meanings as well. At one time it was used to refer to a hybrid device or one adapted from one purpose to another; in 1517 it was used to refer to [second rate] Spanish Sack [wines] and in engineering it refers to a type of coarse-toothed file.
*“Shit! What a [bastard]!”
“[What do you mean]?”
“[Take your pick].”*
*(<http://bastard.urbanup.com/9231155>)* *9 more results*

-define exchange

**exchange**: Performing [oral sex] on [someone] of the [opposite sex].
*Hey, Kelsey--you KNOW when you get [married] you'll be [ALL over] [the exchange]!*
*(<http://exchange.urbanup.com/3532400>)* *9 more results*

-define yogurt

**yogurt**: a very [healthy] thing. tastes good with the [crunchy] [stuff]! everyone should eat yogurt
*[ahh] I don't have anything good to [eat that's] not [fattening]...
-eat yogurt!*
*(<http://yogurt.urbanup.com/984863>)* *9 more results*

-define gogurt

**Gogurt**: The last stage of male masturbation where one [pinches] starting from the base of the shaft upward squeezing out any [leftover] semen. This is a necessary step as it helps significantly with [after cum].
*You: Fuck man I totally just got [rekt] by an undesirable amount of [after cum]
Friend: Well did you [Gogurt]?
You: ... Shit... no I completely forgot
Friend: Well there's your problem my friend, you gotta [GoGURT] or go home*
*(<http://gogurt.urbanup.com/8044455>)* *9 more results*

t!RPS paper

I'm choosing **Rock**! 👊 **PAPER** wins!

-define obsessed

**obsessed**: [Can't stop] [thinking] about.
*I'm obsessed with [gamecube].*
*(<http://obsessed.urbanup.com/330776>)* *9 more results*

-define playstation

**PlayStation**: [code name] for [marijuana], [pot], or weed
*"dude you [get some] PlayStation."

"[wus] up bro we [playing] PlayStation tonight?"*
*(<http://playstation.urbanup.com/3975201>)* *9 more results*

-define xbox

**XBox**: A system made when Bill Gates realised he didn't have enough money.
Since programmers didn't like the XBox when is was announced, Microsoft bought a bunch of companies to make exclusive games, such as [Bungie] and [Rareware].

Also, the system in competition with the Playstation 2 for people who only buy [EA sports] games.
*Halo was originally going to be for [Mac], [GCN], and [PS2].*
*(<http://xbox.urbanup.com/1415390>)* *9 more results*

-define addicted

**Addicted**: A state were a person just wants one [object] [super] [badly], and can't get enough of it.
*[I am] [addicted] to [soda].*
*(<http://addicted.urbanup.com/3803521>)* *9 more results*

-define miserable

**miserable**: someone [who is] [unhappy] and [unpleasant]
*People who are miserable never [look at] [the bright] [side] of things.*
*(<http://miserable.urbanup.com/4223912>)* *9 more results*

-define bus

**bus**: Okay, so Top 10 Reasons Why Taking the Bus Rocks:

Firstly, you don't have to wear a seatbelt. Anyone who says they like wearing seatbelts is gay. And a liar.

Secondly, the people are really weird. Like [ther's] one guy I used to see EVERYWHERE who's all normal and shit, except that he wears skirts. Not kilts. Skirts. What this means is that you can be as strange and obnoxious as possible and no will say anything. In fact, they will do their best to ignore you.

[Thirdly], if you wear sunglasses and look around and write things down, people look at you funny or hid their face and give you more to write about.

Fourthly, you can be as high or as drunk as you want and still get to where you want to go with the added bonus of not having to give a stilted-English speaking cabi directions while slurring.

Fifthly, it's cheap, and you don't have to [pay for gas] or insurance or maintenance of any kind.

Sixthly, if bus drivers are friendly they make your day and if they're jerkfaces they give you [a good story] to tell.

Seventhly, you get to listen to other people's conversations and know about intimate things in their lives, like how their job sucks (which, by the way, is pretty obvious if they're riding a bus).

Eightly, if you're young, you get motivated to succeed so you don't get stuck [riding the bus] forever. And if you're old, you get to look at other people who failed and feel better about yourself.

Ninthly, there's fun graffitti around to entertain you.

And tenthly, there are always hilarious fashion blunders on [fake blonde] twelve year olds with blue eyeliner from [Orleans] who think they're hot shit, like wearing Stitches sky-blue half-bleached jeans with a [pink belly] shirt.

So ya, s'il [vous] plais ne plaindre pas.
*"O [Oysters]," said [the Carpenter],
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be [trotting] home again?"
But answer came there none -
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.*

*(<http://bus.urbanup.com/909886>)* *9 more results*

-define hoodwinked

**hoodwinked**: To be deceived. It actually derives from the practice of placing a [hood over] the head of a falcon in the Middle Ages when engaged in the sport of [falconry]. This was done in order to trick the falcon into believing it was nighttime, thus calming the bird down so that one could recover the prey from [the bird's] talons.
*"[Egads], I've been hoodwinked!"*
*(<http://hoodwinked.urbanup.com/219710>)* *9 more results*

-define lava lamp

**lava lamp**: [The best] [kind of] [lamp].
*My friend has a lava lamp and we like to [trip out] and [stare] [at it].*
*(<http://lava-lamp.urbanup.com/1663712>)* *9 more results*

-define soy boy

**Soy Boy**: Slang used to describe males who completely and utterly lack all necessary masculine qualities. This pathetic state is usually achieved by an over-indulgence of emasculating products and/or ideologies.

The origin of the term derives from the negative effects soy consumption has been proven to have on the male physique and libido.

The average soy boy is a feminist, nonathletic, has never been in a fight, will probably marry the first girl that has sex with him, and likely reduces all his arguments to labeling the opposition as "Nazis".

See also: cuck, beta/[omega male], [orbiter], [kissless virgin], male feminist
*Man 1: If you kill your [enemies] they win.
Man 2: [Shut the fuck up], [soy boy].*
*(<http://soy-boy.urbanup.com/11720869>)* *9 more results*

-define kissless virgin

**Kissless Virgin**: [Basically] Meaning you have never [kissed] anyone and you have never had [sex].
*Yo I'm [Saving] myself for [marriage] [i'm a] Kissless Virgin*
*(<http://kissless-virgin.urbanup.com/12890620>)* *9 more results*

-define orbiter

**orbiter**: A guy that wants to sleep with his [female friend].

He "orbits" her (hangs out with in a [needy] way) in the hopes of [getting sex] someday.

If the girl is hot, she usually has many orbiters.


*Go open that [hot chick]. Don't [worry] about [the guy], he isn't her boyfriend, he's just one of her orbiters.*
*(<http://orbiter.urbanup.com/1575001>)* *9 more results*

-define male feminist

**male feminist**: Most often, the males who [vociferously] support feminism fall under the beta positive or beta negative category within the male social hierarchy. They usually patronize the feminist ideology simply to elevate their status in women's eyes, even though stridently feminist men are almost always found explicitly on the internet (similar to the "white knight"). Regardless of the numerous hypocrisies and double-standards endorsed by most sources of feminism, the male feminist will leap to his armchair, a dedicated keyboard warrior, to defend women against the horrible "profanations" and "[vulgarities]" people make towards the delicate and faint-hearted [damsel in distress].
*Person: "Women are clearly less intelligent than men."
[Male feminist]: "Bro, you're just a sexist douchebag. Lmao, like, go back to the 17th century."
Person: "But under today's equal opportunity, men still dominate every scientific and political field in the entire world."
[Male Feminist]: "[HAHA wow] - hey women, not all guys are like this. I'm a man, and I can assure you that not all men are sexist. P-please validate my pathetic existence. ;_;"*
*(<http://male-feminist.urbanup.com/7665992>)* *9 more results*

-define wheelchair

**Wheelchair**: [The mexican] way of [saying] "We'll [Share]"
*Hey [Jaime], [Lupe] only left us one [enchilada] but is ok, wheelchair*
*(<http://wheelchair.urbanup.com/4147820>)* *9 more results*

-define justin trudeau

**Justin Trudeau**: Noun. 1. An [Islamic] moderate with Liberal Canadian origins [harbouring] the IQ of a retarded [chimp]. 2. Fecal matter that is exceptionally potent in aroma. 3. Failure in the extreme.
*After eating old [expired] Taco Bell out of [the trash], [the hobo's] diarrhea was especially Justin Trudeau and smelled up the entire alley way.*
*(<http://justin-trudeau.urbanup.com/8792815>)* *9 more results*

-define libtard

**libtard**: noun
/[lib]ˈtä[rd]/
1. an individual, whose thinking process has been
rendered impaired by [political correctness] and the
failure to understand that people are responsible
for their actions and the world does not owe lazy
or stupid people a living.
*That libtard voted for someone with no [qualifications] to be president and now everyone is losing his old [health care] [coverage].*
*(<http://libtard.urbanup.com/7392555>)* *9 more results*

-define conservative

**Conservative**: If used in a non-political [sense], "[conservative]" simply means "[not much]."
*I'd like a large [popcorn] with a [conservative] amount of [butter], please.*
*(<http://conservative.urbanup.com/263838>)* *9 more results*

-define justin bieber

**Justin Bieber**: [Disgrace to Canada].
*Annoying Fan: OMG, [Canada's] teen pop sensation, Justin Bieber is soooooo [fucking sexy].
Me: [The music scene] of Canada has lost all credibility.*
*(<http://justin-bieber.urbanup.com/4449171>)* *9 more results*

-define 1 direction

**Directional**: Used to describe silly-looking styles worn by ultra-fashionable people when you're not confident enough to [come right] out and say they look silly. You're worried this is a [new fashion] you don't know about yet, so you say the [tweed] shirt with a gold tie or whatever is 'directional'.
*Look at all these posers with their [directional] [haircuts]. I wish I was in [Wigan].*
*(<http://directional.urbanup.com/4095824>)* *9 more results*

-define one direction

**One Direction**: [A band] that makes [parents] go the other [direction]
*[Teens] [love] One Direction.*
*(<http://one-direction.urbanup.com/8029557>)* *9 more results*

-define nickelback

**nickelback**: the act of willfully allowing [one's] [ears] to [bleed].
*I was [Nickelbacking] so the [school nurse] [sent] me home early.*
*(<http://nickelback.urbanup.com/974350>)* *9 more results*

-define quarterback

**Quarterback**: [hovering] over a [public toilet] in [the quarterback] position and taking a shit trying not to touch the seat with your ass.
*Dude, that [bathroom] was so [filthy] I had to [quarterback] it!*
*(<http://quarterback.urbanup.com/51889>)* *9 more results*

-define guinea pig

**guinea pig**: A guinea pig is a tube with a brain. Stuff goes into this tube at one end and comes out of the other. The purpose of the brain is to cause the tube to find more stuff to eat. Just underneath the brain, near the feet, is a [squeaking] muscle shaped like a kidney bean. If the brain thinks, even just for a second, that there is the remotest possibility of food, anywhere, within [a fifty] mile radius, then it sends a signal to the squeaking muscle, which then [squeaks]. [Squeaks] can also be elicited by tissues, your homework, feathers, and the rustling of plastic bags, all of which are incredibly delicious to the guinea pig.
*I'm a guinea pig, big and chubby...what can I eat? Hay and [pellets], fruits & [veggies], [Vitamin C]!*
*(<http://guinea-pig.urbanup.com/2966015>)* *9 more results*

-define striker

**striker**: A name for a prison [inmate] that [jacks off] when female [c.o.'s] are around.
*Why did you [celly] [go] to the [whole] for? ... He's a striker.*
*(<http://striker.urbanup.com/11290231>)* *9 more results*

-define midfielder

**Midfield, TX**: Midfield is an unincorporated community in Matagorda County, Texas, United States. Although it is unincorporated, Midfield has a post office, with the ZIP code of 77458. It is known as a [four way stop] going to someplace else and it has a bar, a hotel, a Post Office, a church, a community center, and a volunteer fire department. Midfield is also characterized by having a shitload of trailer houses. Midfield is close to the cities of Bay City, [El Campo], [Palacios], and Edna and is approximately a hour and 30 minutes southwest of Houston, TX.
*Guy 1: Dude, remember when we were on that [road trip] and we passed through Midfield, TX?
Guy 2: Dude, it was only a [four way stop]. [Chill out].*
*(<http://midfield-tx.urbanup.com/6851245>)* *1 more results*

-define centreback

No result :(

-define defender

**Defender**: The [Land Rover] Defender is most KICK ASS 4x4 ever created by man. My stock Land Rover D90 is the biggest [ass piece] of gas guzzelin', jeep [humpin'], road rulin', extention of manhood you have ever seen. All other 4x4s are booty.
*My Defender [rocks]. [I wish] I had [two] of them.*
*(<http://defender.urbanup.com/1191347>)* *9 more results*

-define goalkeeper

**goalkeeper**: 1. In soccer, or football as some places name the position, the only person that is really truly unique in [the 11] players.

goalies are allowed to use hands while inside their own [goalie] box.

If you read to here, congrats! the people who left might think i am a boring asshole to leave things like this on urban! I am gonna start talking about what the goalie really does.

First of all, the goalie has the most fucked up job on the pitch. He [dives], he [saves], he leaps, he slides in mud, he cannot make mistakes, he is thought by assholes that don't know soccer as"easy job", and thought by even bigger assholes that know about soccer as "useless". chicks crave the strikers-they [evade] the goalkeepers.

secondly, no other position has a bigger [decisive] power than the goalie. if a goalie saves a goalbound shot, it equals as he scores one. why does so many assholes think the goalies are useless?

if you are a professional goalkeeper, great. [good news], if you make good saves, you will show in the highlights. bad news, if you [concede], the video of you [eating shit] will be played over and over again.

last, goalies are the [backbone] of the defence! when the team is fucked, its the goalie that has shit smeared all over his face picking up the ball from inside the goal and screaming:" fucking fight! you motherfucking assholes! lets go out and fuck those motherfucking fucks!!!!"

so! i hope you are a little more interested in goalkeeper!
*"[STOP THAT] FUCKIN BULLSHIT AND PLAY SOME [SOCCER]!!!!!!!" [yells] the goalkeeper.*
*(<http://goalkeeper.urbanup.com/6741805>)* *9 more results*

-define cockblock

**cockblock**: 1. To [prevent] a male friend or [associate] from [getting some] action.

2. Any such attempt to prevent a male friend or associate from getting some action.
*1. Damn, Johnny just totally [cockblocked] his roommate. Ass.

2. OK, [Isaac's] making his move on [Clarisse] in the living room, and the game is on in fifteen minutes. We're going to have to attempt a cockblock.*
*(<http://cockblock.urbanup.com/95236>)* *9 more results*

-define kolin kaepernick

**kolin**: a [sexy mofo] who has a [big] dickk.


*[emily]:[heyy] look at that kolin guy

[megan]:i know hes hugeeeeeee!*
*(<http://kolin.urbanup.com/3286743>)* *9 more results*

-define ben shapiro

-define twat swatter

**Twat Swatter**: When a girl stops another girl from getting her [game on]. (The female version of a "[cock blocker]")

Invented by [Dane Cook], said it in his may 2008 show in vegas
*"I was going to [get with] him! [You need to stop] being such a [twat swatter]!"*
*(<http://twat-swatter.urbanup.com/3234242>)* *9 more results*

**Ben Shapiro**: [destroyer] of [libtards]
*[libtard]: *says some [dumb shit]*

Ben Shapiro: *appears and snaps fingers*

libtard: *uh oh Ben [i don't feel so good]*

libtard: *fucking disintegrates**
*(<http://ben-shapiro.urbanup.com/13295507>)* *9 more results*

lol

-define mohammad

**Mohammad**: an amazing friend. someone who can always find a way to make you smile, even though you're [feeling down]. he's easy to [get along] with, and doesn't judge people based on how they look. he can be shy though, pretty quiet. says really random things, and gets hungry quite easily. he is just really awesome, funny, cute, amazing, nice, and sweet. <[33]
*he's [definately] a [mohammad] <3*
*(<http://mohammad.urbanup.com/5160539>)* *9 more results*

-define mohammad goat

**Mohammad**: an amazing friend. someone who can always find a way to make you smile, even though you're [feeling down]. he's easy to [get along] with, and doesn't judge people based on how they look. he can be shy though, pretty quiet. says really random things, and gets hungry quite easily. he is just really awesome, funny, cute, amazing, nice, and sweet. <[33]
*he's [definately] a [mohammad] <3*
*(<http://mohammad.urbanup.com/5160539>)* *9 more results*

-define goatfucker

**goatfucker**: A [slur] [Theo Van Gogh] used to describe [militant] Dutch immigrants from Muslim countries. Also sometimes used to describe Muslims in general.
*"This is what our [multicultural society] has brought us: a [climate] of [intimidation] in which all sorts of goatfuckers can issue their threats freely."*
*(<http://goatfucker.urbanup.com/1708305>)* *9 more results*

-define honey badger

**Honey Badger**: [The Chuck Norris] of [the animal] kingdom. No bigger or faster animal ever gives [the honey badger] crap. If they did, that animal wouldn't have the chance to regret it.
*When the [Tasmanian devil] goes to sleep, he [checks] under his bed for [the honey badger].*
*(<http://honey-badger.urbanup.com/6640482>)* *9 more results*

-define Tasmanian devils

**Tasmanian Devil**: When your girl gets kinky and starts spinning on your dick [meanwhile] making the [Looney] [toons] Tasmanian Devil voice.
*Guy 1: My [gf] and I just tried the craziest thing last night.
Guy 2: Really? [What'd] you try?
Guy 1: The Tasmanian Devil..
Guy 2: [Woah].*
*(<http://tasmanian-devil.urbanup.com/10943882>)* *9 more results*

-define jiddy

**Jiddy**: [An adult] who [treats] normal every day circumstances as [corporate] documentable acts to cover there own ass.
*There was a [reported] incident from the [soccer game] Saturday. That Jiddy [intimidated] some kid, then documented a story and somehow became a victim.*
*(<http://jiddy.urbanup.com/8290534>)* *3 more results*

No result :(

-define bum

**bum**: 1. A [homeless person].
2. British/[Australian] equivalent of "butt".
3. To fuck someone [up the arse].
*[A bum] [bummed] me [up the bum].*
*(<http://bum.urbanup.com/286922>)* *9 more results*

t!dailies

🏧 | **Nyoki**, **daily 💴 credits reset in 2 hours, 53 minutes and 31 seconds.**

-define tax

**tax**: Giving money you don't have to people [you don't know] for a [program] you don't [believe] in.
*It's [income tax] time again. [whoo]. </[sarc]>*
*(<http://tax.urbanup.com/378502>)* *9 more results*

-define nocoiner

**nocoiner**: Someone who didn't lose an enormous amount of real-world money when the [Bitcoin] [bubble] [popped].
*My wife is divorcing me because I secretly put all of our [net worth] into [Bitcoin] just before the price began to [tank]. I wish I were a nocoiner.*
*(<http://nocoiner.urbanup.com/12705584>)* *2 more results*

-define 100 mph

**100 mph**: [extremely] [fast]
*you're [going] 100 mph. [slow down]!*
*(<http://100-mph.urbanup.com/12736084>)* *9 more results*

-define solo traitor

**Traitor**: A [Stormtrooper] who isn't [loyal] to the First Order. Example: [FN-2187]
*[FN-2187] Stabbed his Fellow Loyal Stormtrooper.
Out of the shadows, the most loyal man emerges.
The Figure wipes out his massive stun baton, it [glowed] with the power of his loyalty.
He began to spin his mighty tool, wiping it with such force
Finn began to tremble in his traitorous coat, yet deep inside, he felt a strong feeling of pleasure.
[TR-8R] posed himself in his combat stance, his weapon gleaming in the sunlight, fully erect.

Finn wanted TR-8R to use him. He wanted to be punished by him. He wanted to feel his massive loyalty inside of him.
TR-8R with a a voice as sweet as honey, shouted "Traitor!"
Finn loved it when he was called a traitor. He got down onto his hands and knees.
"[Punish me]!" He begged. "Make me feel the wrath of the First Order!"*
*(<http://traitor.urbanup.com/8993123>)* *9 more results*

-define trader

**Trader**: An [omnipotent] eternal [gimp], having almost no [bounds] of gimpness
*Man [I wish] I wasn't [a fucking] [trader].*
*(<http://trader.urbanup.com/215596>)* *9 more results*