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Tomas
2018-08-31 02:36:58 UTC

First

wamps
2018-08-31 03:54:38 UTC

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โ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ป

K3
2018-08-31 17:42:15 UTC

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/484793940655079461/485142291623837697/1371595164628.png

Sphanz
2018-09-03 18:52:04 UTC

So, I have an ultimatum.

First, um, so Bill Gates and the Illuminati gotta herd the nigger cattle, WOO WOO, WE GOTTA HERD THE NIGGER CATTLE, WE GOTTA HERD THE NIGGER CATTLE, they got a big herd of niggercattle. Yippie-ka-yay, we're nigger cattle herders, we gotta herd the nigger cattle. They are the most docile fuckin' nigger cattle, we got them so docile, we got this big awesome herd of nigger cattle and they SHIT and they sit there and they watch tv and they SHIT. It's the best fuckin' herd of nigger cattle, we took away all their guns, now they just SHIT and we watch them and we're rich, we are so fucking rich. We have so much fucking money. We got this herd of nigger cattle, WOO WOO, we gotta, we're milking the fucking nigger cattle, it's the best thing ever.

So that's what the Illuminati got, aaand I got a space alien. So, here's my ultimatum:

You can live in hell with your herd of nigger cattle,
OR
You can put me in charge of the Space Alien Temple - the third temple.
Okay? That simple. Have fun with your nigger cattle, cuz I sure as hell ain't gonna suck your fuckin' jewnigger cock. Fuck yourself, you think I'm gonna fuckin' enjoy nigger cattle after I've had a fuckin' space alien? Are you fuckin' crazy? I've got a fucking space alien! Of course I'm not gonna fuck, fuck with niggercattle, fuck yourself! You think I'm- Enjoy your fuckin' nigger cattle,
you got the nigger cattle,
you got the nigger cattle,
you got the nigger cattle,
GO, GO, GO, GO,
you got the nigger cattle,
You got a fucking herd of nigger cattle WOO WOO WOO, we got 'em so docile, they just shit all day, ain't that great?

Alibaba
2018-09-03 18:56:06 UTC

thats my OC^^^

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:02:49 UTC

This is a true story. I did this. No kidding.

No outside input caused me to do this. I don't know why I thought of it. This was a dumb, stupid, dangerous, risky thing to do. But I did it. Not once, but three times. I can only guess that I was very careful, or got lucky, or both. I do not recommend that anyone do this. It is too risky.

For 3 decades I have wanted to be "without balls". But surgery was to me just too risky and traumatic; not to mention difficult to obtain and costly.

One fateful night, for an unknown reason, I decided to "take things into my own hands"....so to speak.

What I really wanted was some medical needle that could be inserted into each testicle that could completely suck out the contents of each.

Failing the availability of such an instrument I decided that destroying the interior of each testicle would be the "next best thing".

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:02:54 UTC

What the heck was I thinking.

One night, being thoroughly drunk, I put sterile rubber gloves on my hands. I cleaned my scrotum with an alcohol swab. I cleaned a long needle with another alcohol swab.

I have no idea what made me do this. Nothing I had read had prepared me for this. I made it up on my own. I can only guess that it was despiration to be neutered that made me do it.
Next I pushed the needle into my scrotum. It was very resistant. I mean VERY resistant.

I did not just push it into anywhere in my scrotum. I was very careful to make sure that the needle would go through the scrotum skin and into the testicle at it's top end but completely bypassing all of the cords and connections that connect the testicle to the body. Thus, the needle would go through the scrotum, into the top part of the testicle, but not enter any cords or connecting tissue.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:02:57 UTC

Eventually, with significant pushing, the needle finally burst through the scrotum and through the outer layer of the testicle and directly into the testicle.

Unless you have done this, you can not possibly understand the feeling of surprise and awe that you experience when the needle finally sinks into your testicle. There is some pain on the skin level of the scrotum. But the testicle wall and the interior of the testicle felt no pain.

It was a long needle. One that I bought at the drug store. Nothing special. But I made sure to try and sterilize it and my hands and the skin of my scrotum using alcohol swabs.
Finally I had "needled my nut". With slow deliberation, and nice background music, I rotated the needle in a circular motion. As I rotated it, I pushed it further down into the testicle.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:01 UTC

The needle was in my right hand. As I rotated and pushed the needle my hand could feel the needle ripping through the interior contents of the testicle. It is hard to describe but there was the feeling that the front end of the needle was tearing lashing ripping through fibrous material that was on the interior of my testicle. It did not hurt at all.

After doing this for a few minutes, back and forth, up and down, I finally jerked the needle from my testicle. That was a bit of a sudden pain, but it went away.

I did the entire process to the other testicle.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:06 UTC

Next day, I had no pain. But the 2nd day, I felt some significant aching (not really pain) in both testicles. It was if they were both being squeezed. And they swelled up in size.
It took about a month of aching, swelling, and finally both testicles settled down to a size that was smaller than their original size and finally there was no aching or pain.

Once all sensitivity subsided, I did the same thing all over again to both testicles. Using sterile techniques I inserted a needle into each testicle, rotated it around and around in a circular fashion from the top of the testicle to the bottom of the testicle.

One of the most fascinating feelings was when the point of the needle was rubbing on the inside of my testicle wall.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:11 UTC

I was careful to not let the needle scratch or puncture the inner wall of my testicles. I just let the point of the needle rub against the inner wall. It was a most unique and erotic sensation. Indescribable.

After another month of subsiding sensitivity, I did the whole process over again.

It has now been six months since the last time I inserted a needle into my testicles and rotated it around and around, thoroughly carving up the interior of each testicle.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:20 UTC

Finally, at last, my balls have no feeling. I can squeeze them and they feel no pain, no sensation. They are less than half the size that they were before I started this neutering process.
The connecting tissue that is on the exterior of each testicle is still sensitive. But when I manage to manipulate my scrotum and balls with my hand in such a way that this tissue is internally out of the way, I can actually squeeze squeeze squeeze each testicle really hard and there is no pain.

I guess the ultimate confirmation of the success of this process is that my penis no longer gets hard. No amount of manual manipulation or mental stimulation will make it rise to the occasion.. I can not ejaculate. I do not have the erotic thoughts I use to have. I feel neutered.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:28 UTC

It seems to have worked for me. But I do not, I can not, I must not suggest that anyone attempt the same. I surely got lucky, fortunate in engaging in such a risky endeavor.

Although I would much prefer to be completely void of balls at least the balls that I have are very much smaller, have no feeling, and I am no longer dominated by sexual desire and obsession. I feel neutered, calm, at peace.
Maybe not entirely at peace. I would very much like to experience again the feeling of a needle rubbing the inside of my testicle wall.......this is one incredible feeling. But I seem to have no sexual urge to pursue this. Odd. But understandable.

I can think of nothing else to say about my experience and success. I have dead small nuts, I am neutered. Not a eunuch, not castrated, but for all practical purposes, as far as I can tell, I am the equivalent of a eunuch, castrated, neutered.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:35 UTC

Before I went completely flacid, I managed to get hard, ejaculate and had a sperm test run. No sperm.

Not that I would ever could ejaculate again, but just knowing that I am sterile makes me feel warm, cool, fuzzy. Hooray.

As I write this, I am touching, fondling, twirling, fondling my youknowwhat. Nothing arises to the occasion. Amd it doesn't matter.

Fried
2018-09-05 13:32:17 UTC

Don't take it personally, fam; You just strike me as a braindead conspiracy theorist autist that has nothing intriguing going on in his life and has to speculate on hypotheticals to get a half-chub in the morning like a slack jawed drooling brainlet. I don't want to come off as abrasive, friend, So you have my apologies for rubbing you the wrong way, Just please-- In future, Try your best not to be a thoughtless mouthpiece for clickbait twitter accounts? It's very unbecoming of a woke ass nigga

I just don't have tolerance for mini-minds, tbh. This is the marketplace of ideas. If your product is unpalatable, I'm the soccer-mom nigga that always leaves a mean review on yelp.

!Doug The Subway Fugitive
2018-09-07 11:28:03 UTC

Whenever I come in here it's always funny to read

Fried
2018-09-07 11:28:31 UTC

Ok

GGPL
2018-09-07 12:50:14 UTC

strawberry pasta: mix strawberies with sugar and sour cream and put that shit on some pasta

wamps
2018-09-07 18:02:44 UTC

Imagine having a sexual attraction to dirt. Think of it: you are hiking through the woods, when all of the sudden you see a beautiful patch of dirt. You try to walk away, but your boner is too strong, and like opposing poles of two magnets, you are attracted to that oh so virgin ground. You get on your knees. They will get dirty but it will be more sexy and promiscuous. You grab two vines on the forest floor and go to town. After you blow your load, you stand up, dust off your knees, and are halfway through zipping up your jeans when you realize something: you didn't check the undergrowth before the soilfucking. You shakily walk over to the clearing, and the horrific realization only now begins to dawn on you as your cock and balls feel itchy. You have just fucked poison ivy. Over the weeks that follow, your dick shrinks until it starts retreating into your scrotum. Your balls twist, one grows to the size of a grapefruit, and explodes, destroying the other in the process. You fall fatally ill. You lay on your deathbed, waiting for the angle of darkness to come. However, as you lie there in pain, you begin to feel something in your throat. Your heart crawls out of your mouth, and walks onto your chest. It brandishes a sword. It screams. You scream. Your parents scream. The doctors scream. Then, it commits seppku, and your eyes roll backward. The noise of the flatline echoes throughout the room. Such is the fitting end to a person with such a bizarre fetish

Fried
2018-09-11 06:06:42 UTC

Being a liberal man myself, I'm sure DICE did all the proper fact checking and found concrete evidence to support that every allied sniper on the British side was in fact an Asian woman, England has always been known for their large population of sharp eyed Asian women. As for these complaints about diversity in general, I say we are marching towards a bright future of inclusivity my friends. It warms my heart to see women taking up arms in the greatest conflict this world has ever seen, and in fact I don't think it goes far enough, I say the next installment goes a little bit further. Why stop at gender? I wont be satisfied until everyone is included in this franchise, and I'll know we live in this progressive society. When I can lob grenades at fascist children, I'll know that I live in a world that recognizes that everyone has the same worth. When I can stab a communist transvestite on the frozen grounds of Stalingrad, I'll know that I live in a beautiful progressive society that could only have been dreamt of a couple of years ago.

Fried
2018-09-11 06:06:53 UTC

I'm gonna start this march forward by requesting patch in wheelchair bound retirees, because nothing says a quality of opportunity by clearing a room of Nazi paraplegics with a fucking hand grenade. I feel like white men have had the spotlight for too long, the next battlefield shouldn't feature a white man at all. I just feel like it should feature a myriad of cast of socially oppressed, economically disadvantaged people from only the most marginalized groups. I wanna see muscular dystrophy paratroopers, I wanna see down syndrome tank divisions, I wanna see gay fighter pilots, I wanna see women shock troopers and I wanna see morbidly obese marines. I want it to be an all out death match of only the most oppressed individuals we can find, for a qualities sake. I think its high time that they got their moment in the spotlight, I say we rid ourselves of this nasty notion that only white men can die on the beaches of Normandy holding their entrails in and crying for their mothers as they take their last breath. I say everybody else should get in on the action too, there's enough glory to go around for all of us.

Sphanz
2018-09-13 22:54:48 UTC

Furries are the gayest shit on the planet. There is nothing inherently cute or funny about an animal that looks like a human. It's creepy. These people are on the lowest rung of the hobbyist totem pole. What a bizarre and cruel way to spend your time. You people sicken me. How dare you engage in borderline bestiality. What kind of curveball is that? Just because they look like humans doesn't make them OK. Those who identify as an animal are even crazier. Fuck those guys. I didn't climb to the top of the animal kingdom just to watch my species act like genetic peasants. Do you think there are dogs who think they are humans? Those dogs would be shot on sight.

Fried
2018-09-13 22:55:02 UTC

yeah just like you

Sphanz
2018-09-13 22:55:18 UTC

Ouchie my feelings

Fried
2018-09-13 22:56:58 UTC

@Sphanz is the gayest little shit on the planet. There is nothing inherently cute or funny about him that looks like a dog. It's creepy. he is on the lowest rung of the hobbyist totem pole. What a bizarre and cruel way to spend his time. he sickens me. How dare he engage in borderline bestiality. What kind of curveball is that? Just because he looks like a dog doesn't make him OK. Those who identify as an animal are even crazier. Fuck that guy. I didn't climb to the top of the animal kingdom just to watch my species act like genetic peasants. Do you think there are dogs who think they are humans? Those dogs would be shot on sight.

Double Negative
2018-09-14 01:13:01 UTC

Putting jokes aside but whoever drew this strip is a fucking brainlet and probably got his information and understanding of the world from meme youtubers who cherry-pick subjects when deconstructing and analyzing them.

The lead up from the first three panels to the last panel where she is fucked is not cohesive as there are no mutual bond between the subject (blue-haired girl) and her surroundings. This is especially in the third panel when the black silhouette spouting those sexist remarks towards her, effectively submitting her status towards something degrading. The artist impression of the subject being annoyed could not be seen as a parody as the unraveling of the next panel shows that she is indeed enjoying being degraded.

Double Negative
2018-09-14 01:13:05 UTC

One might ask, is the artist wrong at this point as someone who enjoys being in such position yet gets frustrated with her environment treating her similarly, one important point of all human interaction is the concept of consent. Consent is not limited towards sexual acts but in everyday life too. You ask permission to borrow something or even to use the toilet of a diner, those are consents. Between the subject and her partner, there is a mutual trust and agreement between the two parties, the subject agreed to a kinky play where she is treated in a submissive role, degraded and objectify, but this sexual play is only fantasy roleplaying that happens between the parties. Usually a โ€œsafe wordโ€ is agreed between the two and this allows any of the party to stop what they are doing, this is important especially those who are in the submissive role.

Adding to this, in the world of the dominance and submission roleplaying, an uneducated plebian might see the dominant role as the power role where the person could lash out โ€œpunishmentsโ€ towards the submissive participant. However this isnโ€™t the case as it is the submissive role that has the upper-hand. To understand this form of roleplaying, assuming only two subjects, one acting as the master (dominance) and the slave (submission) with their roles fixed, the slave is the one that holds the most power. The power comprise from the fact that the slave has the key (figuratively) to stop the act at anytime due to โ€œsafe wordโ€ (consent), the masterโ€™s power only exist when the person has someone to โ€œpunishโ€, with the slave being able to stop the play anytime, the final decision is always the slave. This outcome also means that the slave controls the flow of the โ€œpunishmentsโ€, since if the master goes too hard, the slave can stop the act(s) at any time.

Double Negative
2018-09-14 01:13:08 UTC

Going back to this 4 panel strip, other than the fact that the artist is sexist and ignorant towards roleplaying, the blue-haired girl in the last panel is in fact the one that is holding power, however there is no agreement between her and her surrounding, this is especially true in the third panel where if that person would have the courage to walk up to her and consent, that person could call her all kinds of nasty remarks. One can assume that since the text of the strip is from the artistโ€™s thoughts put on paper, one can see the ideas of the artist and how blantantly stupid that person is, probably projecting as either one of the characters in it, but its obvous the artist wonโ€™t approach any women since only an incel would make something like this.

NiceFlopSprinkles
2018-09-14 01:29:20 UTC

^

Sphanz
2018-09-14 02:27:56 UTC

wait what comic is it talking about?

Sphanz
2018-09-14 02:28:24 UTC

wait wait is this loss

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:42:59 UTC

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:00 UTC

I am fucking sick and fucking tired of you little fuckers making fun of 911! Just WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? Piece of shit,
Funny thing is you wouldn't dare to make fun of 9/11 anywhere but on here, because you're an edgy little faggot.
Maybe someday when you eventually turn 15, you'll realize that you're a fucking disgrace. Imagine terrorist attacking your country and killing thousands of innocent people. And you fuckers think this tradegy is funny!? PEOPLE DIED. Every day your parents probably sob in each others arms at the realization that the innocent little child they once had has now grown up to be a fucking basement dwelling permavirgin faggot with a non-existant social life. The only attention you will ever get from anyone is by posting edgy fucking videos on fucking YouTube. I can almost picture a weak grin spreading across your face as you realise someone replied to your shitty mindless video you autistic fuck. You are nothing. You will never be something. End your life right now, you fucking lardass social reject.
you disgust me.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:02 UTC

When a girl gets a vibrator it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when I order a 240v Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticised anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system...
I'm called a pervert

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:06 UTC

Does he strike you as the kind of person to even know what that sentence means? I'm amazed he was even actually able to set up his streaming computer and streaming software. If you said the word "gain" to him, he would think you were talking about his "sick gains bro".

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:11 UTC

The funny part is, he's not even that muscular. It's that superficial kind of gym sculpted muscle that makes him look strong, but the closer you look at his arms they are actually pretty small and not impressive at all and he wears wifebeaters all the time to show them off like he's proud of them. My arms are half the size of his, but I bet I could easily beat him in an arm wrestling contest because I actually train for strength and health instead of just trying to make myself LOOK muscular. He could probably beat me in an actual wrestling match because he is so short and his center of gravity is so low and he was a football player, but that's about it. Has he ever said what his actual workout routine looks like, because the half the muscles he does have just look like water weight, which a lot of "body-building" supplements cause, especially Creatine to make your muscles actually look bigger than they are even though there is no muscle or physical strength there, it's literally just water trapped in the muscles like a balloon filled with air.

I'd love to see him actually pick a fight with someone in real life and get the shit kicked out of him and realize his water weight muscles are actually useless when it come to actual physical strength

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:22 UTC

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:23 UTC

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:32 UTC

Are you married? You have kids, or at least a pregnant woman? I do. Exactly how "battle ready" are you in real life? I have a black belt in TaeKwonDo, a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, get shooting and subsistence camping lessons from my cop brother in law and former Marine top sniper dad, I curl 55lbs and sprint 14 miles per hour. I'm also a regular writer at a respected body building website. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you looked like a scrawny Asian college freshman in your profile photo. What exactly have you done for the movement and just what exactly are you prepared for in real life?

you all douchebags, yea i'm talking to those who disliked that video, first, suck my cock, secondely, grossgore is doing a nose job soon because of your scornerys, and if he's in depression, it's because of you too, calling him nosegore , i'm pretty sure you're 10x uglier than him, u all fat cumbuckets , GROSSGORE , don't listen at them just do what you want to be happy, keep doing videos and ignore the dislikes and the lil virgin kids who thinks it's funny to jib someone well known behind their screens. thank you for listening me. kys scrubs.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:37 UTC

I'm just a genius who lurks the web. I have quite a few nicknames and you can call me by any of them: "Hawking", "Einstien", or, sometimes, "Musk".

I collect ancient Japanese swords as a hobby, but don't worry I'm not a weeaboo, I actually respect the folded steel from the land of the rising sun. I'm also a self-taught mathematician and funnily enough I discovered almost all of proofs for the higher level stuff I never went to school for myself.

I wouldn't be surprised if you hear of my academic exploits in the future. I currently don't have a girlfriend, but it's because that's of my own choice. I'd rather have a deep and intriguing conversation about parallels of economic depression in our lifetime to those of Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" as opposed to stupid Instagram pictures.

As for programming, I picked it up when at the age of four as I wanted to a way to generate the hardest Sudoku's possible since anything else I found was far too easy. From there is just took off and now I'm sitting here with my own custom OS.

Programming languages I know:

C+

dll

binary (what I wrote my OS in)

html

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:41 UTC

Shut the fuck up PP, you fucking English "bloke". Only a fucking "bloke" would use the word arse for ass. God I fucking hate you stupid English dumb fucking assholes. Fucking "blokes"

What the ook did you just oouoouahh about me, you beta male? Iโ€™ll have you know I graduated top of my tree in the Cincinnati zoo, and Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the banana locker, and I have over 300 confirmed chest pounds. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโ€™m the top alpha male in the entire Cincinnati zoo. You are nothing to me but just another little black kid in my exhibit. I will throw you like the pound of shit you are with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this zoo, Uuooooahhhhh. You think you can get away with throwing your kid in my exhibit? Uuoouooahhhhh again, fucker. As we Uuouuooahhh I am contacting my secret network of silverback gorillas across every zoo in america, and your poor parenting habits are being traced right now so you better prepare for the alpha male, beta. The alpha male that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your child. Youโ€™re fucking dead, kid. I can be in any zoo, any tree, anywhere, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatโ€™s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in tire swing combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the of rope swings and over sized basketballs and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little โ€œchildโ€ was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking childs hand. But you couldnโ€™t, you didnโ€™t, and now youโ€™re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. Youโ€™re fucking dead, beta.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:46 UTC

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

STFU I'm not gay! All i wanted was some cute boy to penetrate my orifices with his delicious throbbing cock, and some faggots on tumblr are like: "oh wow u came out #sobrave" and i'm like bruh i'm no homo i'm not a fag i just want some of that dick bruh u know what i'm sayin

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:54 UTC

What? You think i'm a motherfucking troll? Seriously? Me? Kid, you can't be so fucking dumb. I'm serious. What on earth has the dumb mind of thinking that of ME? I, for one, fuck more bitches that you blink in a fucking lifetime. Yes, I am the tough guy on the fucking internet, i'm not a basement dweller that spents his whole day in his computer. I'm the type of guy that ACTS. I run 100 miles every single motherfucking day. I work out for 169 hours a week. You cant even understand kid, but there's someone here that are a member of the fucking motherfucking russian mafia. Don't you guessed it already? Yeah, that's ME. And if you try to talk shit to me, or any of the members of the mafia, you're going to have bad consequences. Huh? You're sorry? Bitch please, if I had never told you this shit you were going to type another shitpost. You and your little friends are all dumb. I am the guy who gets money to fuck bitches. You? You are a loser. You spend all your fucking time on your little nerdy computer. I am just doing my work; protecting my d33p w3b of little normies like you. Come on man, you don't have to cry. Just stare at my 70 pound biceps while I walk with my side bitch. Next time, think about this consequence. Alas, you are a little tough. Talking shit to a motherfucking mafia member ain't that easy. But if you reply to this shit, i'm going to wipe your will to live in this world, because this world is MINE. Do you hear me? MINE. Yes, I run the streets, the industries, EVERYTHING. Are you scared? Are you afraid? Haha, just don't talk shit to any other person and you will be fine kid.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:54 UTC

America doesn't need a ban on guns. It needs gun safety classes. Many people I've talked to don't understand how to fight off an attacker with a semi automatic handgun. The best way is to grab the top as hard as you can to prevent it from cycling and ejecting the empty casing. This will buy you time and you'll only be shot once at most since the bad guy has to rack the slide to shoot you again. This is the kind of information that saves lives and should be taught in schools.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:57 UTC

As I said, the erosion of human and civil rights is not progressive, it is the antithesis.
The term, like feminism, has been co-opted by people who could more accurately be described as authoritarians, fascists or Stalinists and want to capitalize on the good will formerly associated with those terms.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:00 UTC

Hey my grandmother died at around 61 and my grandfather is 81 now so yeah not all women live longer than men. It just kinda pisses me off that you decided to categorize every women that they live longer. I mean you don't know that now do you. What if a woman have cancer and she have about just a few months to live? I'm just saying. Oh and I support feminism cause hey, suppressed women exists too okay.๏ปฟ

Look, nobody isn't taking your guns away. The logic behind gun restriction laws is meant to make it really hard for people with mental problems to own a weapon with which he could harm or kill dozens of people within minutes. The fastest of those weapons he shows had a magazine for 6 bullets, not magazine with 30. That's the whole point.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:04 UTC

Take away the dangerous ones like assault rifles etc., allow them only in designated shooting areas like shooting range and establish a regulation laws which will include mandatory annual psychological tests, also include training for the safety. You think liberals want to take all the guns? No. We just want the regulation to not be afraid going to school. To not be afraid to walk on the street. To not be afraid when we reach to the pocket for a wallet and get shot by an "afraid cop"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:07 UTC

The first two real sentences made me stop reading. You truly don't understand what's being talked about, which is astonishing because I've been repeating myself a lot thinking that if you kept reading what I was writing you would start to comprehend. I was very wrong.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:09 UTC

I sincerely hope you've been trolling, or are really baked like I was and am about to be again.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:12 UTC

well then you better stop calling yourself a progressive because you are fucking yourself.

You're going to go on to live a happy life, you will settle down, get married and have two beautiful children. You will see countless wonders in your life and they'll be the pride of your life. You'll look back in old age and feel nothing but happiness about the life you lived. Right there, as you pass on from this world, I my face will gaze down upon you with an inhuman hatred. You will quake in fear as the world around you erodes into nothing, leaving you stranded in a dark abyss. Sudden, a blinding light: You are back playing this match of Overwatch. Decades of your life will have been undone and all that happiness will never be reclaimed. As you are filled with this horrifying revelation I will then say: "don't do it again."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:16 UTC

You know, people look at the internet and see everyone talking about harambe and some just don't understand... Why does everyone love this gorilla? No one knew who he was before he was brutally murdered. You know why I loved harambe so much and I still do to this day? Let me tell you.

I live near the Cincinnati zoo and i've gone there many, many times. The first time I could remember going was when I was a wee lad, about the age of 5. We arrived at the zoo and saw some animals, many creatures. Snakes, Sloths, Birds, Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants etc. Then we saw him... the gorilla, harambe. As a little kid I remember gazing on him and thinking "wow, look at that gorilla... he's beautiful.". And then he turned around and faced me... and that's when I saw it... his giant, mega sized big black helmet. I was breathless... I desired it. I needed it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:19 UTC

Skip forward a year, I am now 6 and we go back to the zoo. All day i'm yelling at my family to hurry up cause I want to see harambe. They didn't quite understand why I wanted to see him so bad but I knew they just wouldn't understand, so I wouldn't tell them. It was around 4:00 PM and the sun was beating down on us, it was so hot. We finally reached harambes home and I was just staring at him. He looked at me and I was so happy... then something crazy happened... his giant big black helmet got bigger and harder, it was amazing. I couldn't believe my eyes and what I was witnessing. I started to drool and I didn't understand why, but when he looked at me I knew we connected somehow.

I am now 11 and we visited the zoo again and we eventually got to the exhibit and I just couldn't wait to see him and his big black helmet. I saw him and he saw me, we glanced at each other once more and there it started to grow. He ran towards me but hit the glass, then he started to try and sensationally touch the wall, thinking of me. I was honored. I couldn't believe I had been so lucky to have harambe love me and desire me. I wanted to pleasure him, but I didn't know how.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:22 UTC

I never saw harambe after that day, but I thought about him every night. And then it happened. That black night owl kid did what I wish I could have... jumped into his cage. I can only imagine what that kid experienced and how happy he was.

What happened next.... I can't even type without crying.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:25 UTC

harambe was playing with the child and having a good time, but because of the kids black fatass mother they opened fire on harambae! WHY?! harambe DID NOTHING WRONG! harambe was then protecting the child from the gunshots! Harambe died saving the childs life! They killed the love of my life, my idol, my everything...

harambe was so attractive and had the nicest helmet, I only wish I saw him more...

I miss him so much. Out of respect for what he did for me, and what he showed me when I was 5.... dicks out for harambe

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:29 UTC

Hi! Welcome to our LGBT server! I'm Sweet Timmy Toots, and I'll be your guide today! tee-hee. Where would you like to navigate first? Over heeeeere we have our fisting initiation videos, complete with a complimentary tub of flavoured Crisco! And! And! Over heeeeeeeeeeeere is where we keep our collection of barely legal teen boy concubines gargling semen in tune to Mariah Carey's "Emotion"! Each one hand waxed by yours truly-truly-apple-struly! snicker wink Let me know if there is anything I can help you find you big strong silly man-cub you, and don't forget to sign our visitors book, located just past the L-bend of my colon! It's been ticklingly enticing servicing you today faggot, My prostate is all a flutter hoping you'll join us again and again for more silly sexy butt-squelchingly FABULOUS adventures! Kissies kissies, pussies go hissies Mr. big strong straight man!!

...I love you.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:35 UTC

there really isn't. even astronauts do not film reentry into atmosphere. why is this? think about it. why not? why don't they film exit and reentry from earth?

and how can the rover transmit images from mars in real time? the technology magically works with no problems 33 million miles away?

mars is apparently 33 MILLION miles away.

do you fathom that?

we perfected technology that can work on mars on the first try? how did they test is?

its absurd. they landed a rover on mars 33 million miles away in real time? think about this. really. think.

I hate black people. Why do people keep saying that I'm racist? Racist means believing that one race is superior to another. I don't think black people are inferior, I just hate those fucking monkey niggers. They're violent criminals and should be exterminated. But just because I think that, doesn't make me racist, because I don't think they're inferior. Also I like mexicans, so that makes me even less racist. And no, I don't support Donald Trump, stop asking.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:39 UTC

So yesterday I was at my cousinโ€™s house and he said he had to show me something important. We went to his room so he could show me and I waited while he looked for it in his closet. He showed me his old underwear and whispered proudly, โ€œWhen youโ€™re older, give this to your son.โ€ He threw it at me and ran away.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:41 UTC

Then, waking up this morning I walked out of my bedroom as normal and headed for the bathroom, I removed my boxers and stood on the toilet seat to let my 43 inch mega hammer of a penis slap into the toilet bowl then spray powerful jets of warm yellow electrojuice everywhere. Once I had wrapped my penis around my leg and sheathed the great beast I went downstairs for breakfast.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:44 UTC

Grabbing the wheatabix from the cupboard I noticed something strange, on the cardboard box, instead of the wheaty breakfast snack there was instead a picture of a bear. I was sure it was normal wheatabix that morning, but I put a few pieces of wheatabix in a bowl and went about my breakfast as normal. When I poured milk on the wheatabix though, something incredible happened. The wheatbix grew in to bears, full grown bears!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:47 UTC

I felt increasingly intimidated by the wheatabears, until the largest bear squared up to me and said โ€˜You have freed us from our wheaty prison, we are forever grateful to youโ€™ the bears then disappeared magically in to a mist. Extremely bewildered and hungry I jumped up on to my elephant and rode to work (Oh yeah, I have an elephant, get on my level ******)

At work I noticed a new woman, she was beautiful. Her gorgeous blonde hair and green eyes deeper than the most penetrative Jenna Haze anal video you could imagine, were only matched by her gigantic nipples hanging out of her shirt, more akin to an elephantโ€™s trunk than to juicy milk cannons. She walked up to me, gently took me by the hand and whispered in my earโ€ฆ โ€˜You want I make banana cry?โ€™

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:50 UTC

Smiling, I leaned back and muttered a few simple words โ€˜Karah Coo Chakalaโ€™ I rammed my fist through her stomach, watching her breakfast of cornflakes (Which hadnโ€™t turned in to animals, lucky *****) fly across the room and hit the disabled security guard in the colostomy bag. I mustered an eighteen hit combo to the face and flung her across the room. She stood up smiling, wiping blood from her pendulous nipples and screamed in a shrill tone โ€˜BANANA CRY NOWโ€™ she transformed in to a giraffe and began wrapping her huge yellow and brown neck around me, that ****.

Knowing I couldnโ€™t escape from her clutches I did the only thing I could, I let loose my secret weapon. I unfastened my belt and let my divine rod of justice flop from my pants, I used my incredible cock muscle to wrap my slappy wing wong around the giraffe monsterโ€™s neck and began choking her back.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:53 UTC

Before I could taste victory she morphed again, this time in to the form of a downs syndrome child, I couldnโ€™t hit her now, the devious *****, I knew I would get a court case if I hit a spastic. She stood and laughed at me, pulling out an ivory gun and pointing it at my face โ€˜YOU WANT I MAKE POTATO CRYโ€™ the little spazzy boom bazzy spluttered out, an entire corn on the cop flying out of her fat disgusting retard mouth, hitting me in the eye. Suddenly a huge growl could be heard from behind her.

A group of bears appeared in a mist, ripping the Downy to shreds in front of me, **** and spaghetti flying all over the room. Nearby women cried and shoved tampons inside their vaginas to handle the internal vaginal haemorrhaging the sight was causing, I leant back in my office chair and watched hardcore midget porn, whilst just thinking to myselfโ€ฆ while just thinkingโ€ฆ

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:55 UTC

Nah, banana donโ€™t cry today, *****.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:58 UTC

The attack on Pearl Harbor, also known as the Battle of Pearl Harbor, the Hawaii Operation or Operation AI by the Japanese Imperial General Headquarters, and Operation Z during planning, was a surprise military strike by the Imperial Japanese Navy against the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii Territory, on the morning of December 7, 1941. The attack led to the United States' entry into World War II.

After I went vegan my teeth became stronger, whiter and I never get that stinky breath feeling anymore. I have to remind myself to brush my teeth, and when I eat apples it feels like I just brushed my teeth. I didn't expect this at all. Also, the size of my fucking boners has increased also. My shit is smooth as hell now too, it's like that one cool guy that shows up to a party and everyone pauses for a second to appreciate his coolness, that's how smooth and cool my shits are now. Vegan for 6 months btw.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:04 UTC

I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am. Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait". So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game. A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny Pokemon have less than a 1/1,000 chance of appearing: 1/8192 to be exact.). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny Pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny Pidgey, gone forever. I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears. What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:05 UTC

๐Ÿ’žDaddy๐Ÿ’ž be nimble๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿป Daddy be quick๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’จ Daddy has a rock๐Ÿ—ฟ hard dick ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜! 1๏ธโƒฃcummy๐Ÿ’ฆ 2๏ธโƒฃcummy๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ 3๏ธโƒฃcummy๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ 4๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ! Daddy cums๐Ÿ’ฆ so much he can't cum any more๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š! Ghost cummy๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’ฆ Ghost cummy๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’ฆ don't be scaredโŒ๐Ÿ˜–โŒ! There's always more cummies๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘… that can be shared๐Ÿ‘ฌ! Daddy makes me โ˜๏ธsquishyโ˜๏ธ Daddy makes me ๐Ÿ’งwet๐Ÿ’งDaddy treats me like his little pet๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ•! Send this to 69 ๐Ÿ’ฏTRUE๐Ÿ’ฏ Daddy's or else you'll ๐Ÿšซnever๐Ÿšซ get any cummies๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ again ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜Žโ€ผ๏ธ

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:08 UTC

There's literally nothing wrong with this, we've got to be more accepting man, it's 2016 for Hillary's sake. I would suggest not being so ignorant and xenophobic, this unwarranted vile nature is an absolute pitiful display of zealous and pedantic racism against people who have done nothing wrong are were a major stepping stone in the history of mankind, they are the past, Egyptians, Colonials, adventurers and now they're the future Americans.

Our time is up, you have blood on your hands, all of us white Americans do, it's time to correct the record and let the true master race have their time. Your pathetic and desperate attempts to cling to your mediums is laughable, DICE have done the correct thing and pandered to the TRUE demographic of intelligent gamers. It's like what they say, life has a liberal bias. Now get informed, I'm a moderator at r/Racism and r/Gamerghazi and welcome you with open arms.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:11 UTC

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

I don't understand why a person could think that another man deserves death because he loves men. Who cares if he likes to take it up the ass? Who cares who he kisses? It honestly doesn't matter, it's just love. Love is love. You can't control what you love. Who honestly gives a shit that he sticks his penis in a male butthole?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:14 UTC

The amount of homophobia in the comments is alarming. We need to educate those who believe that sexual orientation is something you can & should control and teach them that actually, it isn't.

Your religion is just that; yours. A gay persons life is just that; theirs. No one else's. No one has the right to tell anyone how they should live their life because it isn't anyone elses business.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:17 UTC

How would you feel if someone told you that having the eye colour you have is disgusting and that you should change it? I'm pretty sure you would feel frustrated given that changing ones eye colour is an impossible task.

It's time for people to understand that sexual orientation is something that people cannot choose (nor should they have to), just like eye colour.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:20 UTC

Accepting people in all walks of life with love, acceptance and respect does not mean that you are any less of a Christian. It means that you are able to open your heart with empathy and love, which is basic human nature.

Whether you agree with gay pride or not, at least try to show the lgbt community the love and respect they deserve as human beings.Try to understand how scary it must have been for these people to come out in a world in which their community is treated like a disease. Understand the courage it must have taken these people to accept and love who they are when they are constantly having to deal with people telling them that they should hate what they naturally are.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:22 UTC

All you need to know is that they are human beings with rights and feelings. You do not get to tell them how to live their lives.

We are equal.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:33 UTC

My mother was a well-known prostitute back in her prime, but she quit when she found out she was pregnant with me. I hold her in extremely high regard and I believe she sets the standard for mothers everywhere. The only thing she was reluctant to give me was information about my father โ€“ a topic she absolutely refused to comment on. As a high-profile hooker, she had been rolling with quite a few influential people โ€“ and for a long time I fantasized myself a child of an oil merchant or a Fortune 500 CEO who would drive by our flat one day in his Porsche and take us away for a fancy meal or weekend or something before dumping us back where we belonged because from a young age Iโ€™ve been a realist and I knew that it was impossible for any sane rich person to care about the poor. When I was in middle school, and just starting to learn about sex, my mother suddenly became very comfortable with nudity around the house, and she would often strut around our flat wearing nothing but a pair of socks. I think this is because she had some suspicions that I was a closeted homosexual (as a devout Christian she obviously viewed this as an unnatural abomination) and so she tried very hard to invoke some sort of interest for the female body in me (which is a very noble, self-sacrificing act). But the first time I saw her in the nude I was so stricken with fear that I sprung a boner (which always happens when I become terrified) and collapsed on the floor, where I began to convulse.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:34 UTC

At the time my social studies class was covering a unit on the Holocaust, and in a bit of zealous interest (which is rare for me) I had researched quite a bit on the Fuhrer โ€“ and read a few articles on how he was not, in fact, dead, but was instead gallivanting all over America (where he had successfully escaped to). Thus when I saw his iconic moustache branded on my mothers crotch my little mind broke. After all, Higgins sounds remarkably like an Anglicized bastardization of Hitler, so it did not take much more evidence to convince myself that he had fathered me. It took me many years of therapy and counseling to rid myself of my panic attacks, and this was not helped by the fact that my mother never told me I was wrong in my conviction.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:38 UTC

I'm too smart. People call me an insufferable know-it-all but I'm just too smart. I'm smarter than everyone on this board and I failed Grade Three twice because society hates smart people like me. How do I get less smart so I can conform and finally finish highschool. I'm 20 and I'm still in fucking grade nine. I know I'm smart but I pretend not to be so I can impress ladies when they see how smart I am. I'm too damn smart and I don't know what to do.

Years ago there was a story I read. In it, Harry was teaching at Hogwarts as an adult, years after Voldemort's defeat. Now this before the seventh book even came out, so you can guess how long ago this wasm but I have no clue when it was actually uploaded. I cannot find ANYTHING about it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:41 UTC

I remember Madame Rosmerta (I think it was her), and a mention of the three broomsticks. Only here's the kicker! She had to work there to satisfy the three broomsticks, which were actually magically enchanted to be penises. nd they were also gay. If she did not take it in the ass and get an anal creampie from each of them,... something would happen, and better her than a man.

With each broomstick being gay, for some reason Harry had sex with her instead. I THINK the story was called 'Harry Potter and the Anal Creampie', but I can't for the life of me find anything similar to that. I first came across the story in early 2007, before Deathly Hallows came out.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:44 UTC

Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare into his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.

Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume, he should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphicter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and will appear visibly shaken.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:47 UTC

Begin to piss and shit yourself and let your eyes roll into the back of your head. By now you are chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs. He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying precence within their soul.

Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:50 UTC

Okay so I wasn't here yesterday so I'd like to take today to fire off my giant ass rant.

Not at America in general, more than half of you were not on boards with this, bot at the Republicans (at least not yet) not even at Trump voters. They wanted Trump for whatever their reasons and they got him.

I want to yell at Democrats.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:52 UTC

What. The f**k. Went wrong? HOW could you lose to DONALD TRUMP?! A man with no political experience, a man whose business dealings, his only real claim to competence are either failures, frauds or were built up by his daddy.
A man who openly expressed admiration for dictators on tape ? A man who once tweeted at 3 A.M for people to check out a sex tape (WHICH DIDN'T EVEN EXIST) A man with a ready history of extra-marital affairs who was caught on tape bragging about sneaking a peek at changing beauty contestants. A man who tried to woo Latinos by buying a taco. A man who can't even LIE properly .

You could have put an empty chair up against him and won. You could have run on the "You know maybe the whole 'President' thing is a a waste of money" platform and STILL won!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:55 UTC

Trump had all 5 people on this planet who've had his job say he was unfit. Including the Bushes. He had the last two Repub nominees tell people to vote for Clinton. He lost Fox News. He lost O'REILY. You had everybody with any influence in the public sphere railing against him.

How? HOW?!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:58 UTC

Now I know what you're thinking, it was the media, it was the third party voters etc etc.

No, it was you.

You failed to win against the weakest candidate ever. A mna accused of everything from stiffing Joe the Plumber to sexual assault .

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:04 UTC

You failed to give the people a candidate they felt they could rally behind, you failed reach out to the votes you needed you failed to address legitimate concerns in favor of calling people idiots and bigots. It's telling tha the site I've seen take the most in depth look at why people were actually supporting Trump was THIS one. Even when you did it was always just the set up to another zinger, "Aaaand that's why your complaints are pointless racist, so just admit you hate brown people". In the last 8 years you grew complacent and arrogant and it has cost you.

Now I'm saying this just to be a dick, I'm saying it because you can't afford self pity. I'm saying it because you need to own up to your faults. You need to figure out where you went wrong and fix it, and don't say you didn't because you clearly have.

So go home clean yourselves up, don't give in to crazy panic don't even think about talking of revolt even as a joke and figure out what to do. And I address this to all liberals, from everyone to the Dems President to the lowliest blogger. If you are someone who's ever taken it upon themselves to be an activist now is the time for serious self reflection because you have a huge responsibility to bear

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:26 UTC

OI M88


DIGGERYDOOS HUH M8?


EHEHEHEH MAAAATEE GOOD ON YA MATE

G'DAY m8

WE SHITPOSTIN NOW M8?

OOGA OGOOGA BO OGGAOGAOGOAOGOWAOHWHOGHOAOGOWHAOHWHOAHWOGHOWHGOAWHOAHOHOOGHOHBOBHOWHAOWHOBHOHOWAHWOHBOAHOWHWOHBOHAOWHOAHO
OBOHAWoHA

ohah*toss boomerang*

WEEEEEEEEEEE POOPIES HAHAH GOOD m8 POOP HEHHEHEH POOOOOOOOP NOO PLS LEBS XDD POOP OAWOHOBOOOWHOBOWAOHO *more diggerydoo noises and grunts OOAWHOHOGHOWHOAHWOWHOOOOOOOOOOOAHWOGOWOHAOWH

WEEEEEE WUZZZZZZZZZZ VEGIMITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHAEHUHAEUHEUAHU ching chong?

POO PEE LAND STOP! NO IT HURTS DESU~~

OAHEOHEOHWAOHOHOHWOAOWHO *throws boomerang* LOL HAHHA LEAF? LEAF? EASTER?? POO IN LOO? POOPIE FOR ROOPIE? OUWOUOUBOUOBUOUGO FUGGIN BOGANS m8, FUCKING PETROL HOOFTAH M8 FLAMIN GALAH M8 SICK CUNT [40mb] UOWAOWOHOBHOWAHOWHOAHOBOWHOAHWO AUSTRALIAN TOURIESTS BTFO IN MEXICO HAHAHAHHA

>Be australian
>get heat stroke in santa suit

AHAHHAHHAHAHHA OLDE LEL!

GOLDEN LELIES! HEHEH GOLDEN LELIES! LOL GOLDEN LEL! AYY LMAO BENIS BENIS BENIS WE WUZ ABBOFALIANS WEEEEEEEE ANZACKS NOW AUSNZ LOL BENIS DID U KNOOOo TASMANIA IS POOPIE?

HEUAHEUHEU LE MELBOURNE xD

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:30 UTC

Oooh!! Umbreon pee pee! Squeak squeak tinkle pretty pee pee ooh warm pisss footpaws pad and splish and smell of his pee pee while he spurts and warm golden tinkle flows down and smells up his pee paws OH and his anus puckers while his little balls twitch as his pee pee churns and bursts between his legs and the very tip of his urethra splishes and squirts and twitches with his warm bladder full of pee pee, he squishes his cock in desperation as his paws soaked with tinkle twitch and his balls pressed together and he aims his pee pee tinkle cock between his legs, making his thighs wet and stinky with warm hot tinkle pee as he rubs and splashes and his toes stink of wet pee fur ooohh tinkle pee pee soooo baaadd!

He needs a diaper!! Diaper diapee pampee diap comforting pee pee diaper for him to tinkle in and rest his pee cock and press the tip against the soft insides of the warm diaper and squirt spurt warm yellow and twitch his balls inside OOhh anon! He needs a diapee diaper! Anon he needs a pamper pampee diaperrr!!!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:33 UTC

stinky smelly mukky farts.

sniff sniff the mukky farts.

it stinky so good the mukky farts.

spray that gas out your mukky ass

aim at my face that mukky mace

oh yes it stink so good

that mukky poopy dust up my nose

the purple fart cloud rains down purple fart drops, down down it goes

my mouth open wide ready to catch them on my tongue

drink the mukky farts is so fun!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:36 UTC

His palms are sweaty, life's bleak, child is heavy
There's a sniper aimed at him already, mom's upsetti
park service, they're nervous but look calm and ready
To embalm, but they keep on regretting'
What they shot down, the internet grows so loud
they open their mouth, but the memes Wont stop now
provoking', how, everybody's revolting' now
Dicks are out, Harambe's down, over, blaow!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:39 UTC

If the shitpost starts discussion on the topic and I post something related to the topic even if the topic stemmed from shitposting, is it still shitposting?
Remember, this is like the heat death of the universe. The shitposts are the entropy and we are the universe. In the end, the shitposts will overcome the expansion of us and will destroy all. Just like entropy, shitposts cannot be destroyed nor contained

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:42 UTC

This is not a joke. My favorite niece found your post - it ruined the internet for her, even made her a bit depressed and ashamed for awhile for even reading it. She has early signs of depression, her mother died of heart failure when she was only 7 years old. This place? She liked it.... because so many of the posters reminded her of her mother.... who was also like a sister to me....

....You WILL pay for this, you sanctimonious jaded smug piece of shit. Y'know why? Because my older brother, the father of the girl who you hurt with your cancerous scorn, is INFINITELY more pissed at you than I am. He's an old fashioned soldier. 6.5 feet, about 300 pounds, ex-navy, doesn't go online much, doesn't have profiles, but he knows a few very good programmers he goes to sometimes when his kids run into 'trouble' online.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:45 UTC

He's the type who only knows one thing, something you millennials don't: how to get shit DONE. Not much gets under his skin really, you can call him any name under the sun, even strike him and he won't hit back (high pain tolerance)... but you fuck with his little girl and he becomes a totally different man, a VERY dangerous and reckless man. Even if I, his own little brother, were to hurt his daughter emotionally, even on accident...he'd break me like a damn twig without a second thought, quite easily too and I'm NOT a small guy. I can't tell you my bro's fighting 'technique' because it seems to be a sort of blend and I'm no pro, but I've NEVER seen anyone, even bigger guys, last more than 5 seconds against him before they were on the floor in tears, screaming for mercy, with at least one or two body parts broken and/or bleeding.

After he consoled his crying daughter about a week ago, he informed me of what happened. Unlike him, I use words to express my anger, words you've see quite a bit I'm sure- since I'm about 50-60% as pissed as my brother.
Being pissed over my niece's sadness that you helped cause, I helped my bro find your post and he gave me a look that almost gave me a heart attack (it was his eyes more than anything) and calmly said "Daniel, I'm sorry...but we'll have to cancel the turkey shoot. I have work to do." And he immediately started calling some old contacts...when he calls me 'Daniel' I know shit just got real.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:52 UTC

I honestly can't tell you what my brother will do when he finds you, and he WILL find you. He's the 'creative type' offline and while not a professional interrogator, he got some enemy combatants to talk during his tours and picked up some tricks on dealing VERY high volumes of pain to someone without leaving marks. I seriously ALMOST feel bad for what awaits you.


I

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:52 UTC

listened as they called my President a Muslim. I listened as they called him and his family a pack of monkeys. I listened as they said he wasn't born here. I watched as they blocked every single path to progress that they could. I saw the pictures of him as Hitler. I watched them shut down the government and hurt the entire nation twice. I watched them turn their backs on every opportunity to open worthwhile dialogue. I watched them say that they would not even listen to any choice for Supreme Court no matter who the nominee was. I listened as they openly said that they will oppose him at every turn. I watched as they did just that. I listened. I watched. I paid attention. Now, I'm being called on to be tolerant. To move forward. To denounce protesters. To "Get over it." To accept this... I will not. I will do my part to make sure this great American mistake becomes the embarrassing footnote of our history that it deserves to be. I will do this as quickly as possible every chance I get. I will do my part to limit the damage that this man can do to my country. I will watch his every move and point out every single mistake and misdeed in a loud and proud voice. I will let you know in a loud voice every time this man backs away from a promise he made to them. Them. The people who voted for him. The ones who sold their souls and prayed for him to win. I will do this so that they never forget. And they will hear me. They will see it in my eyes when I look at them. They will hear it in my voice when I talk to them. They will know that I know who they are. They will know that I know what they are. Do not call for my tolerance. I've tolerated all I can. Now it's their turn to tolerate ridicule. Be aware, make no mistake about it, every single thing that goes wrong in our country from this day forward is now Trump's fault just as much as they thought it was Obama's. I find it unreasonable for them to expect from me what they were entirely unwilling to give.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:56 UTC

Tracer felt like her insides had been scooped out through her pussy. Sure, her GF liked to peg her with black strap-ons, but the Nazi's throbbing 1 footer hollowed her out like a pumpkin. She could feel the grinding of her broken ribs with every breath she tried to take, any time she attempted to move her shattered body refused sending insurmountable pain through her very soul. She laid on the cold pavement, tears rolling down her cold cheeks. She didn't know what was worse; someone she once trusted with her life had destroyed her mentally and physically, or that there won't be anything left of her for friends or family to find. Reinhardt made sure to it that there wouldn't be any evidence left. With her chronal accelerator destroyed, it was only a matter of hours until she once again was lost to time itself, and all who had known her. Her silent tears turned to loud wailing sobs that fell upon deaf ears. Once she realized she was truly on her own she turned to her only source of peace, religion. She asked, begged the iris to take her away from the shame and pain she was enduring, but once again, her pleas went unheard. A once proud, beautiful, budding young woman in the prime of her life, beaten down to nothing more than a bleeding, broken rape victim, crying behind some disgusting alley. As time dragged on and her throat became dry, she could feel herself become disassociated with the now, with a final, powerful scream strong enough to break the heavens, she called to Winston, her girlfriend, the iris, anyone and anything to keep her from drifting off into the hell that is time disassociation.

Once again, she went unheard. And soon enough all that was left of the great Tracer, was a pool of pussy blood.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:59 UTC

Her eyes are green and cute!

I love Zelda! She's the cutest and the best! The best ever! A cute princess Zelda! Yes! She's very cute and very feminine! She sounds like a proper lady and a proper princess! Very cute! She even knows how to cry! Cries like a princess in english! Not a robot! Doesn't cry like a baby! Ladylike! Dresses like a princess! Very modest! Cute turtleneck! Cutie patootie! Cute hairclips! Knows how to accessorize! Fashionable! Fingerless gloves for warmth and dexterity! Plans ahead! Not short sighted! Holds the triforce of wisdom! Smartypants! Yes! Cute with brains! Brains behind her forehead! Cute forehead! Cute eyebrows! Pointy ears! Cute pointy ears! Cute golden hair! Cute hairstyle! She is very lovely! I love her!!!!!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:01 UTC

I like to masturbate imagining female soldiers being shot and killed in combat. Like imagining a pretty young woman in her combat gear crouching in a grimy alleyways with fear in her eyes before the enemy rush around the corner and she shoots one but the others shoot back and hit her, their bullets ripping into her soft innocent flesh and making her slump against the wall, whimpering in pain, her tears streaming her grimy cheeks as she thinks about her family as she bleeds to death, how she did this for them and how she will never see then again. She's so young and innocent and had her whole life ahead of her but now she is going to die here alone and forgotten. I get off imagining her pain and absolute misery and helplessness in the face of death. I am rubbing my dick against the bottom of my desk just writing this.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:05 UTC

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

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Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

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Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:11 UTC

Oh I was not expecting thatโ€ฆthat little gust my dearโ€ฆ.you caught me off guardโ€ฆyesโ€ฆso gentle it was thoughโ€ฆhmmmmโ€ฆlet me taste this little oneโ€ฆjust one small sniffโ€ฆ..sniffโ€ฆahโ€ฆ.ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffffโ€ฆand yetโ€ฆso strongโ€ฆyesโ€ฆthe odorโ€ฆ.sniff sniffโ€ฆhmmmโ€ฆ.is thatโ€ฆ.sniffโ€ฆ.hmmmโ€ฆ.I can almost taste it my dearโ€ฆ..yesโ€ฆ.justโ€ฆsniffโ€ฆ.a little whiff more if you pleaseโ€ฆ..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffโ€ฆah yes I have it nowโ€ฆ.yes quiteโ€ฆ.hhhhmmmmโ€ฆdelectable my dearโ€ฆ..quite exquisite yesโ€ฆ..I dare sayโ€ฆsniffโ€ฆ.the most pungent one yet my dearโ€ฆ.ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffffโ€ฆ.yesโ€ฆ

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:11 UTC

Youโ€™re always gonna have problems lifting a body โšฐ๏ธ in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ– and pile it all together. โ€ฆ And when you got your six pieces ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–, you gotta get rid of them ๐Ÿ˜‚, because itโ€™s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum ๐Ÿ‘ฉ to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs ๐Ÿท. You got to starve the pigs ๐Ÿท for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ. You gotta shave the heads of your victims ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggiesโ€™ digestion ๐Ÿ˜Š. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you donโ€™t want to go sievinโ€™ through pig shit ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ, now do you ๐Ÿ’ฉ? They will go through bone like butter ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹. You need at least sixteen pigs ๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm ๐Ÿ˜Š. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘Œ. That means that a single pig ๐Ÿท can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, โ€œas greedy as a pigโ€ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ–.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:29 UTC

The Elite are all about transcendence and living forever and the secrets of the universe and they want to know all this; some are good, some are bad, some are mixed. But, the good ones donโ€™t ever want to organise, the bad instead are the ones that organise, because they lust after power. Powerful consciences donโ€™t want to dominate other people, they want to empower them, so they donโ€™t tend to get together until things are really late in the game, then they come together. Evil is always defeated, because good is so much stronger. And, weโ€™re on this planet and Einsteinโ€™s physics showed it, Maxwellโ€™s physics showed it, all of it, that there is at least twelve dimensions, and now thatโ€™s why all the top scientist and billionaires are coming out saying itโ€™s a false hologram, it is artificial. The computers are scanning it and finding tensions points where it is artificially projected and gravity is bleeding in to this universe, thatโ€™s what they call dark matter. So, weโ€™re like a thought or a dream thatโ€™s like a wisp in some computer program, some godโ€™s mind, whatever. Theyโ€™re proving it all, itโ€™s all coming out.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:30 UTC

Now, thereโ€™s like this sub transmission zone below the third dimension thatโ€™s just turned over the most horrible things, which is what it resonates to, and itโ€™s trying to get up into the third dimension, thatโ€™s just a basic level consciousness to launch into the next levels. And our species is already way up to the fifth, sixth dimension consciously, our best people. But there is this big war trying to like, basically destroy humanity, because humanity has free will, and there is a decision to which level we want to go to. We have free will, so evils will have to contend, not just good. And the Elites themselves believe theyโ€™re racing, using human technology to try to take our best minds, and build some type of breakaway civilization where theyโ€™re going to merge with machines, transcend and break away from the failed species that is man, which is kind of like a false transmission because theyโ€™re thinking what they are as ugly and bad, projecting on to themselves instead of believing, no itโ€™s a human test about building us up, and so, Google set up eighteen, nineteen years ago. I knew about this before it was declassified, Iโ€™m just saying I have good sources.

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