Yo anyone can give support now?

What should you say to a person who is having a unsusped child?

You have to give us more background.

Well i got a friend who just found out she is pregnant, the guy did not what it to happen either did she, the guy did not know and ditched the girl and said he already got a new gf

idk she just said the test lied and she is pregnant

Ouch. Another pair of idiots. Not sure at all what to say though.

In some ways the damage is already done and there's not much left *to* say.

That's a harsh situation. He should probably get a DNA test.

Why are they having it if she doesn't want the kid?

i found help

What did you find?

Don't leave us hanging

Any one know how to make posts load from the top like on reddit? Thanks

You mean here?

Mmm, I honestly don't know if that's possible

everywhere on discord, it's driving me nuts.

Hi all

sup

What mind of support is this for exactly

whats bothering you?

Mmm, well it's kind of support for those going through tough times

buckle up

I'm 21, never been good with girls or been treated well by them

I had this hair brained scheme to ask out this really attractive girl in my church involving a self-addressed love letter and a bunch of Bible themed valentines last Sunday, and had told a few of my buds about it both to workshop the jokes and to goad me into going through with it. I'll be frank though, over time I started having zero faith in it working just because I'm not the most attractive guy and she was a stunna. So this was one source of anxiety, another came through when I realized that even if I was successful I couldn't have sex with the girl because it would be the "wrong thing" according to the church, and then couldn't masturbate without terrible guilt either both because it wouldn't be fair to her and would also against God, both massive additional sources of anxiety because I have high libido. I was freaking out, I joined this hook-up site because I was feeling the pressure and wanted to have sex especially since I'd still not had sex in 2 years, and ngl I was going to go through with it if I had gotten a good opportunity. I was losing my mind at work last Monday and I called my therapist (I've had depression on and off for 4+ years) and poured my heart out, and she said my idea to ask out the girl was bad because it had nothing to do with her personality or anything.

This is true, cause if I had found out she had a boyfriend/was talking with someone I would've just picked someone else to do it to. Basically I called it off right there, the following Wednesday I broke up with my small group at the church and had a horrible panic attack on the ride home, skipped night class, almost killed myself because until I crossed the threshold I was going to slice my arm open and bleed out in the bathtub. My dog ended up being there and I was able to cool off. Between the pressure of the church and the pressure from girls I decided if I was going to go on living I couldn't keep being defined by either. So I quit the former and swore to stop putting in special effort for the latter (as I had been going to social events and things just to try and talk to girls, been getting treated poorly anyway). Yeah, effectively this is MGTOW but I'm trying to be indifferent instead of bitter.

I'm wondering what my goal and purpose is. Before I had been doing life, working hard, for the prospect of a wife and family but now that I've said I'm willing to be single for the rest of my life I don't know what the fight is for. I'll be graduating summa cum laude from a big state school, job lined up, but I don't have a centralized goal anymore and am worried about what's going to happen going forward because I know if I don't come after the girls they're not going to come after me.

I've been drinking more than usual and listening to a lot of country western, barely doing my homework

dude how is sex or masturbation wrong?

Interesting. "Yeah, effectively this is MGTOW but I'm trying to be indifferent instead of bitter." bitter is kinda a phase for MGTOW, you'll notice most of the actual MGTOW personalities don't show bitterness so much. It isn't something part of the identity.

"I'm wondering what my goal and purpose is...now that I've said I'm willing to be single for the rest of my life I don't know what the fight is for" So that is an interesting question. Basically I'm fairly confident* there are two general options for you regarding the nature of purpose: a return to the Church (or some other religion) or one of existentialism/nihilism/moral objectivism. Investigate what is real, then pick what seems most likely true. Purpose will flow (or in the case of nihilism, not) from that. Objectivism and the Church may provide answers regarding purpose most readily, however even with those frameworks you will choose your goal with regard to your abilities -- for both ought implies can, and generally proponents of any of these frameworks would try to match people with something they would find fulfilling rather than a dry obligation.

* Naturally, the reason I can be confident of this is because I've more or less exhaustively listed out the philosophical options with regard to the study of human purpose.

..

That might not be super-helpful in getting to the meat of what you seem to be looking for: that is a measurable vision for a good life in the future, but it is a starting point with some terms you can look up

In terms of more practical things you may be able to engage in now: what little I've gathered suggests that feelings of purpose or purposelessness (in addition to thoughts about ultimate meaning that I addressed in my previous paragraph) can be related to attachment to a group of people. The questions to ask are: Do I have a group of people that are "my" people? Am I contributing to that group or furthering its goals? And am I recognized for my contribution within that group?

Finding possible answers to those questions and pursuing them can help in the near term as you ponder the nature of ultimate meaning.

I have better, more succinct advice. Your life will not improve until you recognize that religion is poison and all your fears and anxieties are rooted in a fantasy world.

hahaha

I emphatically disagree

Well I'm sure as shit not going back to the church

why not?

You don't get to pick and choose what parts you believe, like in a for a penny in for a pound lest you be a hippocrite

So while I admire the moral drive the guilt is not at all worth it

You sound like you need to read some Robert Anton Wilson. Or at the very least some of his quotes.

I'll look him up

@Crinkus That is very admirable indeed. However, as a Christian who struggles with lust, I would go one tiny step further and say that the reason you don't get to pick and choose is because a person doesn't choose what is true, but rather merely assesses what is most likely true. Additionally, I would note that the Church has a complex relationship with the concept of guilt (Romans 7), that tends to be rather oversimplified. Guilt/shame-binging is unfortunately common in Christian culture, but is not what scripture seems to teach.

That said, regardless of the nature of religion, my first bit of advice is entirely secular and largely drawn from secular sources.