Message from @asparkofpyrokravte
Discord ID: 522289887899025409
The the gender comparison is more direct
Well, yea, I don't mean to include the sentencing thing in an article about education ^^; I was just mentioning it cause it was brought up here
Or either of them, I don't think the race thing needs to be included. Just saying how to counter that as a criticism if it is brought up somewhere
I wasn't criticising the article.
I was mentioning the feminist whataboutism when confronted with this.
Ah, that's fair, I kinda thought you were suggesting that as something to add to the article related to article titles 😃
Trying to pre-empt feminism on the critiques it will make will make the article miles long, there's no end to the logical hoops they jump through to discredit anything
Title: An Issue of Education
Introduction: Boys on average get lower grades in school compared to girls. This is almost universally true. There are several ways in which boys have particular issues with regard to schooling as compared to girls that cause this gap. What can be done about those issues? Well, it's complicated. There are some things that appear to be solvable or at least mitigated by school system, but some of the differences seem intractable, and everything is mired in politics. What follows is a summary of boy's issues with schooling, how those are being addressed, and hopefully a little of why those issues should be important to you.
..
I think that's improved
but probably still has problems with it. Got another objection for me to fix, folks?
Any other suggestions on titles is welcome if I can turn it into something concrete
Does the word "boys" really need to be in the title to make it specific enough?
Yes, people could think that it is about the identity politics mired in the educational system
I mean, it is
Oh
Right, you mean title IX-like bullshit
I meant
ah
Yeah
Is "An Issue of Boys' Education" better?
I feel at that point a different wording entirely would be ideal, but as I said I'm really drawing blanks
"Our boys and how we are preventing them achieving in school"
But that's a bit long perhaps
definitely
Long titles are generally better
And the truth is not all of this is about preventing boys achieving, (an active action) but rather much of it is a passive one
And that is the perfect length for a title
Hrm, okay, I'll accept being wrong on that point
"Our boys and how we are ignoring their worsening performance at school" ? That's more passive
"ignoring their worsening", ouch.
That doesn't have that urgency to it
Eh, that's correct grammar
Titles must evoke emotions
I agree it doesn't have the same urgency to it.
It is a bit of an interesting thing since we don't know for sure that boys' performance in school is worsening
"Our boys and the dismal state of their education system" "Our boys and the apathy of an education system that lets them down"... I'm kinda hung up on the "our boys and" thing lol, I like that opening
Nor is it universally ignored
Eh, *some* embellishment isn't a bad thing
"A Closer Look at Boys Lagging in School Performance"
I do feel that saying 'our boys' is better than just boys, it puts the reader in a position of ownership of them
it does