Lately something's been up with me

Fuckin paternal shit is starting to kick in

The fuck old are you? Like 22?

Not having anyone to be with has been getting me way more bummed than usual

Yeah

It's not even a libido thing either

It's a >tfw no family of my own sort of thing

Bruh trust me on this, you CANNOT base your happiness off having a companion.

Aye

I'm aware

It's unhealthy

But I can't help but feel it would be nice to have after what, almost five years of being completely alone and out of the dating game?

When I was with my fiancee for three whole months I was the happiest I've ever been

Then get a dating app. Don't be a fucking weird /k/ommando on it with a joke profile either.

Turns out you're actually alright as a person, we just give you shit.

I hear that a lot, but I find it hard to believe at times.

I just need some time to try and cheer up.

Tried going to the range, didn't even crack a smile

I just feel dead inside.

That's natural, your friend *just* died. It's called mourning.

Layer that on good ol' GDD and it's a shit sandwich.

I've been feeling like this for a while my dude.

Everything I used to like has stopped being fun.

I'm jaded at 22. It feels like I've already had my fill of everything this world has to offer me already.

Literally textbook depression.

Eyup.

Go camping.

You might have to get some happy pills

I've been on the same happy pills for over a decade

Used to work great

Now they just put me to sleep.

Then you need new ones, set up a psychiatry appointment

SNRIs are basically magic compared to whatever shit they put you on a decade ago.

Trileptal and risperadol.

Off the top of my head those are tranqs.

I started on escatalipram about about a year ago

Epilepsy pill and an anger management pill

It's hard to ask someone else to love you if you don't love yourself.

Yeah...

So, working on #1 is a good next step

Put the work in - it's not fast, but you gotta do your part.