I know why i'm having these thoughts @BlzAhz yeah i hear and understand you. I'm having these thoughts because i'm lonely, thirsty and afraid of dying alone. I have little to no companionship in my life male or female. My roommates fucking suck for conversation. the only visitors i get are paid for, my life sucks. Hence fuck my life. @Reaper maybe you're right.
@GingerSnaps to be clear you should not feel lesser for it, but do you really believe she is not interested in attaining the highest status man she can?
@GingerSnaps That has never been any different. Your expectations and hopes are what causes your pain, but when you realize that it has always been like this, you'll start your path to being free - and once you get past the initial shit - you wouldn't want it any other way. You will embrace your solitude.
@Reaper I'm not sure, if i know her at all no. she just wants someone to be there for her, fuck her good, and give her children.. Money, status, etc the usual hypergamy stuff doesn't matter to her.
@Unknowncrash i smoke cigs/vape and toke weed. though i'm trying to quit toking for at least a month. I'm going to relapse on valentines day since i don't have a real valentine this year, mary jane will be my valentine. She's always loved me. lol
@GingerSnaps "One person's validation is as good
as another - it does not matter. The one
that matters is yours, your sense of your
own validation within yourself. And
gentleman, in terms of women, if you are
at your center of validation,
she's completely incidental."
-huMAN
@BlzAhz Like i said i'm slowly getting better at it. I'm slowly making peace with all of this. I value my solitude and peace and quiet already. I just need to deal better with the loneliness. @Reaper no i haven't confirmed she is single. According to my buddy she doesn't really have time and isn't in anything serious but he's operating off of old knowledge it's been a short since he was over her house. Now if i know her at all, she's single and will be for about another 4 months. However if i know her best friends at all they've tried hooking her up with people. So she likely has had partners after me going off that but random sex isn't a relationship. Maybe she went back to her old FWB, i don't know. This is why i wanted to have a nice toke session with her and pick her brain.
@GingerSnaps the sad thing about a unicorn is that as awesome as it is to have one, once you release it to the wild, it will immediately be assaulted by a pack of wolves have its horn ripped off and then fucked by a stallion, she is then no longer a unicorn
On the relapse part: if you want to stop, when are you actually going to do it? You will never be ready unless you just decide to go through with. There will always be another excuse to post-pone it.
