Say a buncha hilarious shit

Then

I make a dinner date with her

About 3 hours before the date

I send a text with a photo

The text was "hey i was working on hanging stuff in my house and hit my hand with a hammer and now its swollen to shit. Im gonna have to cancel"

The photo was my hand but instead of my thumb it was obviously my dick

you're a hero to us all

She was PISSED

lmfao

I just responded "my hand hurts:("

Got blocked finally

owned gangnam style

You just gotta believe in yourself

Dude i was crying laughing tbh

lmao

That dick pic was magnificent, my magnum opus

What a fucking legend

I just send women pictures of Arby's and bibles

Nah you gotta be funny with it

Make sure its content your buddies wanna see and laugh at

my friends would just tell me I'm wasting my time demeaning women

they are all married though so what do I know

My friends would probably laugh

Don’t really wanna put the effort in tho

Especially since I might have one of them as a waitress to seomthign

rofl

Idk man, if its a battlefield they wanna make it you can always date, be nice to the ones who treat you right, and be a superdickhead to the goblins

If you are in a city you will have lots of shit choices

They will want you to treat them as they feel

yea, city living is suffering

I'm the kind of person to go to absurd lengths for a joke, as soon as I have some spendable moneyI'll probably install tinder to fuck with these thots

this shit sounds too fun

My trolling got me in deep shit thanks to the homos in politics but whatever

my issue these days is after working and working out

Its fun

I have like no energy anymore to even think about women

idk what to do now

Hobbies

I want to hire a highschool marching band to meet her when I stand a bitch up

I'll be in the bushes with a camera