No kids with her yet, we are discussing where we stand

It's good that you are talking about it. I think it is an issue that should definitely be agreed upon before making the step of having a child.

it is

I need to bring this up as well with a girl I have been talking to, not in a relationship so it shouldnt be as awkward though

Do it before you get in a relqtionship man

Relationship

I dont want anybody's child going to childcare. Its allowing somebody else to parent your child for you. I know situations change and shit but it should be avoided if at all possible

I will

I am at the other side of the spectrum. I have a child (accident) with my girlfriend who wanted to send it to child care to go work. Long story short I put my foot down on the kid not going to child care but the topic keeps creeping up...

keep slamming it down

Good stuff euro on putting your foot down

force her to watch black pigeon speaks

Only reason a kid should go to child care is to learn social skills

They can learn social skills by being with other children. No middleman like child care services are needed for that.

Yeah but where are they going to meet other children out of daycare apart from parks

which can also be accomplished easily if the mother does her job and interacts with the community, which is one of the reasons I think I am looking for a catholic girl lol

Lol lash

I was lucky with her that additionally to me not wanting the kid to go to child care she talked to a couple of friends of hers who have kids who told her not to send her kid to child care.

My gf works in childcare

Isn't parks enough to learn social skills?

it is true though!!!!! I'm not a bible dude by any means, its actually caused weeks of turmoil as this is a realisation I had earther this year, but it's the valuable side of religions

but apart from parks, mums meet up where children can interact with each other on playdates .

True

My brothers gf works at a day care too, she says not to send your children to day care...

I don't want some curry muncher raising my kid

I dont want anybody who doesnt meet my standards doing it. Its literally why pair bond in the first place. The only way you can know if somebody is good enough to be with long term (and have kids with) is if you agree on a lot of major issues and have the same outlook on life. Ultimately you want your child to be a better version of you, which can only happen if you have somebody you really trust (yourself and your partner) spending the most amount of time raising them as possible

the idea you can hand them to people outside of the family long term and have them given back to you in a better shape is lunacy. Situations change and needs must, but if it can be avoided I would do everything possible to do such

Agreed

@Lash-Games you're on point there. No one outside of extended family watches our children or trusted friends who share our values.

A society grows great when old men plant trees who's shade they know the will never sit in.

*they will never sit in.

@Lash-Games Unless you have such low regard for yourself or the other parent that pretty much anyone is going to do a better job.
Or you care so little for the kid you don’t care, unless it reflects badly on you.
Either is possible.

@Your_Hirsute_Friend Yes. I’m on a bit of a thing about my three sex/gender model.
Your point about the old Greek proverb is yet another great example of positive neuter.
My thanks

@Nic Harvard that are great points. Its a recent thought to me, so I am still blindly stumbling through the dark trying to work out the best arguments for it and I love those points you made 😄

I’ve never been ok with going “toxic masculinity is THE problem”
God knows I’ve seen enough of it, it exists, and I know what to do about it.
Toxic femininity I also know well but am less adept at handling.
So something else is at work, somehow entirely anti masculine AND anti feminine

@Nic Harvard I must have missed the three sex/gender model you're talking about earlier in the chat. What is that?

@Your_Hirsute_Friend I’ve been trying for over two years to put much more effort into making the absolute best argument I can for any stupid idea.

More than that actually- I recall taking two delightful young ladies home after proving decisively to an annoying engineer that astrology has a great scientific basis (it doesn’t, but the best possible argument sounds damn good)

So I’ve come up with good ways to defend things as demonstrably bad as Marxism, post-modernism, slavery, and terminal exposure of infants.

Sometimes, the kernel of truth causes me to change my mind

Male we know, female we know.... but what do we know about non-breeding humans?
Less than we know about bees