@Bubbles based oxide. Hes inspired me to invest in more slavic stuff. Need smersh and zenit

Glory to Ukraine fuck the donbass supporting fags

So I got a joke

What's the difference between a regular thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

Hm?

The taste

Ha

What do you call a Mexican being baptised

..wh...what

Beandip

Lol bready good

What's do you call a gay man inna wheelchair

Rollaids

...

Nooooo

Lol

I can go all day

Lol

Alright. So three kids are outside. Bored.

They look over and see a brick

Kid 1 says "let's see how high we can throw the brick up into the air"

Kid 2 says "well how will we truely know who's got higher?"

Kid 3 says "the brick that goes higher will stick deeper in the mud"

So kid 1 throws his brick and it goes pretty deep in the mud when it lands.

"Not bad" says kid 2 and throws his, his going even deeper

Kid three steps up. Throws his brick straight up

Alright, so theres this chick at an airport

She has this parrot, but shes not allowed to bring it on the flight.

She considers many things but finally decides to just put the parrot in her shirt. The parrot doesnt move or make a noise. Perfect!

So she gets on the flight. Shes nervous, the stuartess asks if she wants a drink, she declines

Finally the plane starts taking off

For whatever reason, the bird starts making tiny noises
'Br..br...b'
The woman starts to sweat. The stuartess walks by several times and eventually hears the bird

MERRY CHRISTMAS BOYS

The stuartess asks "do you have a bird under your shirt mam?! And tips the shirt and takes the bird and throws it out the window

So the pilot is doing his thing and jumps! The copilot asks what's wrong? What do you see?!

The brick

@насильственное убийство interrupting my long conflated joke

For shame

I was hanging on every word

Yup

Knock Knock