he has about 10 pets

birds and fish and dogs etc

i dunno

oh well whatever

ill try to figure something out

Yeah, loneliness hits hard when you get to that point where you realize you're essentially stuck in it and can't find your way out. That'd be the explanation I'd put down to it. But yeah, good luck trying to get him to realize that. It's hard to break through to people who feel that dread. It sucks because it pushes people away, which is exactly the opposite of the goal.

right

i mean im happy to hang out with him

if he calls first

and i say ok

it would probably still be like an hour or two a day

come over, have a coke, watch a movie, whatever

but this idea that like at any time hes gonna be at the door

and kinda desperate about it

it sucks because i feel like i have to create more distance than i want with him because it seems like no matter how much i create hes going to try to close it

the only time ive ever acted like that was when i was obsessed over a chick when i was like 17

any excuse for conversation, any excuse to meet

etc

dude is straight though

well whatever i hope he doesnt kill himself hes gotta learn to be self contained after 10:30 pm tho

Yep. It's essentially that same process. It's just increasingly disconcerting as the person gets older. Don't have the experience of them dropping by the house all the time. That'd get old quick. Does he acknowledge when you try and create distance?

Yeah, can't really fix that for him.

he seems super super sad and apologizes for "bothering me"

and its like nah dude you dont understand im busy, you need to call, its not that you bother me

if i dont answer the phone that means ill probably call you back later

knocking on the window is fucking new

thats gotta end immediately

Yeah, that's forward as hell.

like i ran outside because i thought it was like the neighbors telling me the house was on fire or some shit

and its kind of sad and pathetic hes standing there with a thing he wired and im asking myself

like is this a cry for help?

like is he gonna off himself if i dont hang out with him tonight

whatever

I'd say just get him out at a bar and have a chat over a few beers or something. But yeah, you also can't take personal responsibility for his mental state.

It's definitely a cry for attention. It's not a great sign for his mental health.

i dont mean to sound cold about it but im staving off the existential dread myself and its a shitty feeling but at the end of the day there has to be an end to the day

It's not cold, it's just realistic about how much you can personally do for someone else. Reach out if and when you can, but if it's an issue with him it will have to be him to solve it. Even with help.

I've made that mistake before. Trying to help someone who was too far gone to really benefit at that point. It's brutal but there's a reason there's a billion dollar mental health industry. Unfortunately, al of the time you realize someone needs help is also after the point you can really help.

yeh

well i called him up and offered to go on a bike ride, i do it all the time when im feeling like shit

maybe it will help him