>be Patriots fan
>wake up, it's game day
>drink narragansett
>put on Tom Brady jersey
>drive two hours to Gillette
>Patriots up 30 in first quarter
>boo Tom Brady for not being up 45
>fucking scrub
>bitch to guy next to you about how Patriots are underperforming at 7-1
>guy's wearing Browns jersey and cries
>patriots win by 14
>fuck, we threw the game
>boo Brady as he leaves
>"GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, ASSHOLE"
>drink Sam Adams
>drive back to Boston past 5 accidents on 93
>do to bar to watch Celtics
>drink Narragansett
>boo Brad Stevens for not being first in the Eastern Conference
>boo Danny Ainge for not getting LeBron AND Durant
>walk to packie to get more Narragansett
>they're out of Narragansett
>tell packie owner to fuck himself and get Sam Adams instead
>go home, sit in recliner surrounded by Boston memorabilia
>yell at wife about how Patriots and Celtics are trash teams that need to get their shit together
>drink Sam Adams until you're drunk enough to go to sleep
>pass out on Red Sox bedsheet
>New England sports teams suck so much.
