i am gonna be the king of dad jokes

my children will never know anything else

i wish i could go back to the year 2000 and invest in 9/11 stock

my first born son will be completely socially isolated he will not see a single human being for his first 18 years of life, however he will have a PC with the elder scrolls 4 oblivion installed as the closest thing to social interaction he has, then one day I will release him into society and see what autistic freak I've created

i'd be a rich man

hhahahahahhahaha

if I had a telephone that could make calls to the past I'd tell everyone I could to invest in the world trade center a week before september 11th 2001

if i had a telephone that could make calls to the past i'd call buddy holly and say "don't get on that plane but let the other 2 guys go"

if you had a telephone to the past why not tell your grandfather back in the 50's to invest in plastic?

If i could telephone people in the past I would phone Adam Sandler at 4am to make sure he doesn't miss his flight

I would tell him to bring more people with him

Inshallah

we wouldnt have the song American Pie by don mclean if not for that incident, imagine what great song we would have if like a dozen artists were on that plane

do you really think anyone would write a hit like that if it was just ritchie valens and the big brapper

"i can't remember if i cried when i read about his widowed bride...but i laughed when i found out dean martin got killed kek"

volare means "to fly"

the big bopper aka the diarrhea king

if I had a phone that could call the past I'd call Alexander Graham Bell and say he's a loser

everybody knows the telephone was really invented by mario pasta spaghetti and bell stole it

Whose twitter accounts were these? Lol

all mine

Based

“Your honor, I will now introduce exhibit B from co-conspirator rapegroyper1488”

If I had a phone that could call into the past I'd tell Hitler to speed it up

Arrested on conspiracy to shitpost

I'd call him up and say "hey pal shave that mustache alright *click *"

might fuck around & put it all on AMC

https://twitter.com/StarBardent/status/1354445821304057856?s=20

@pickle sup friend

Hey

I'm working

I'd be a better cosmopolitan rootless elite than all of you

It's true

whats his name

Bruh

Ok so it’s just about peaked

When knee grows and whores start getting in on a trend it’s about to crash

hi

Sup b

playing red dead 2 cuz