dropped outta college

i felt 'suicidal'

its all in your head though, your brain makes everything bad

climb atop buildings thinkin about jumpin o ff

cut myself

yeah it's all gone now

nothing was stopping you from getting out of bed except your own thoughts

I know

Redemption is a beautiful thing

forgiving mother solved it or anything else ?

Silent prayer and forgiveness. I mean, the depression was on and off, I was living alright but still 'lonely' when Idiscovered Jesse's channel

yeah understand

the silent prayer feels like meditation to me i cant do it

oh

loneliness isnt a bad thing

I tried to meditate throughout my life with little success

the silent prayer... immediate success

i dont have many friends i dont care at all

Well I mean emotional craving

that kinda 'loneliness'

I don't mind being alone

oh

now

i prefer to be by myself honestly

in most circumstances

Yeah. Most people are fallen anyway (myself included perhaps)

so they're not necessarily good for ya

hmm

I used to have really bad panic attacks. This panic attacks reason why I started seeking God.

This attack was so bad. All my organs start destroying.

Like stomach pancreatic etc

a panick attack is usually a condition of a past event where u were in a situation that u were attacked

It was really scary shit

I'm not joking

Now I'm sure I was possess

anxiety is a type of psychotic behavior but the books changed that outlook on it

20 yrs ago it was considered psychotic

pharma changed it when they came out with drux

I love to told Jesse my shit story. It's unfortunately Americans not like Russians. And my story not so matter for JLP listeners. I overcome alot shit for ~ half of year .

no ones story matters to alot of jlp watchers

could u imagine anyone story being in matter to someone as such as slut_maker for example?