Dads understand the struggle with wanting to make your kids happy while trying to keep your sanity

...it's my goal to exploit that weakness!

noooooo

Why aren’t their any jokes about America because freedom rings

Grammar would make that flow better^

Me and my recliner go way back<:LeoDecaprio:768140752525852742>

only uncultured swine don't like dad jokes.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/609073992833433620/771418083440066590/IMG_20201020_210527.png

Wow, that forest sure has a lot of Geome-Trees in it

https://tenor.com/view/ba-dum-tuss-jokes-gotcha-burn-ouch-gif-5645546

https://tenor.com/view/dadjoke-gif-5091305

> What's the difference between a bum driving a bicycle and a guy in a tux driving a bicycle?
>
> ''Attire''
@BrightPopz Would have been funnier if the guy in the tux was riding a tricycle

great suggestion

Question: what kind of weapon is presidential

Answer: ray gun

If two vegans are fighting, is it still called a beef?

top 10 questions science can't answer

I'd call it a veef - vegan beef

Two vegans fighting is a lettuce shake.

Did y’all here about the TV remote?

He got arrested for battery.

"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."
"I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."
"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize." I didn't make this btw!!

So I told my kids that Disney+ wasn't going to release Season 2 of The Mandalorian until after the election and only if Biden wins the presidency.

Needless to say, my kids freaked out. The love The Mandalorian, but they love America too!<:RotatedSemiFullyAutomatic:761629946564575242> <:DontTreadOnMe:741511252551139419> <:AmericanFlag:720120797837918288>
Maybe we'll put off episode 1 until after the results are in and then tell them Disney is pro-<:TrumpSmile:720121948088041513>

haaaaaa

just saw the 9th episode, AMAZING

Wait,

If Mike Pence buys a pair of Nike Air Forces One’s,

Does he have to call them Air Force Two’s?

What did Sherlock say when asked what rock the Grand Canyon was made of? Sedimentary my dear Watson, Sedimentary.

Sometimes I crouch down, put my knees to my chest and lean forward really far. That's just how i roll 😎

Sadly I just lost my job in the ice-cream parlour. I told them there's no way I'm doing Sundaes😉

I once worked at an ice cream parlor. But I lost my cool with a customer and they gave me the cold shoulder.

Needless to say, I was told to chill out or I would get fired.

That's just cold

why did karen press ctrl+alt+delete? She wanted to see the *task manager*

Just remember: we all came from the poo of something else!

Except for Biden. He is his own piece of crap.

He who is who he is