Like just acknowledge that it's not the same, but that doesn't mean it has to be bad. I think we can say like we know there's an "ideal model" of family that worked pretty well for several thousand years but like, life isn't easy and we have have alternatives but let them be that -- alternatives

> I do agree @isoboto like, why they consider "different = bad" I'll never understand.
@Dark no. you NEED different people. best parental system is when you have one being more strict and enforcing the rules, while the other is more gentle and kind to explain why the rules exist and work in a certain way.

Yeah I'm with you there I was getting to that lol 😄

Yeah that’s the best model, but alternatives work (but shouldn’t be accepted as the normal/best which isn’t bad)

> I've noticed that no matter if you're gay or not in each couple there tends to be a feminine and masculine person
@❄֍Winter Soul֍❄ yup. if you have 2 persons who are completely soft and/or hard it makes it hard for the relationship to be sustainable. especially in teaching the children.

Yup

Yeah I'd fully agree it's stupidly important or has to be supplemented somehow like a grandparent or something

> Yeah that’s the best model, but alternatives work (but shouldn’t be accepted as the normal/best which isn’t bad)
@Draconem_Dominus i have met alternatives (parents who are both soft and lenient) and the kids are very spoiled. not that they are bad kids. it's just kids that demand stuffs and get it easily

I agree

Yeah I’ve seen that too

I think that's also "new age parenting" vs old school

They work but are obviously not the best

> Yeah I'd fully agree it's stupidly important or has to be supplemented somehow like a grandparent or something
@Dark completely agree. not necessarily blood parents are the best models (because some parents are indeed assholes), but you need a pair of parental figures, that's for sure

Yes absolutely

You see that in all pack animals

Yeah, I actually always wonder what exactly the impact is of role absence

but initial studies and such always show it's very extreme

> Yeah, I actually always wonder what exactly the impact is of role absence
@Dark This is why a lot of kids without a dad tends to gravitate toward crimes and/or end up in prison

True yeah but that can also be economic too

Definitely, but it’s a pretty big factor

there ARE examples of kids growing up without dad and made it, but for a lot of them, without a strong hand that hold them up the kids don't learn to be strong and face consequences

I agree

I did a lot of really dumb potentially life altering stuff in my youth and like, I just really got lucky

Though coming from a single parent household (mother) who was authoritarian, it does work out sometimes

It’s just not the norm and shouldn’t be accepted as such

> True yeah but that can also be economic too
@Dark for sure. 1 parent household means 1 source of income only and the parent might not be around. 2 parents household means 2 source of income, and even if it's 1 source of income, the other parent can be around to keep a close eye with the children

True, but could have the alternative where they do have wealth e.g. like this divorce style culture now

> Though coming from a single parent household (mother) who was authoritarian, it does work out sometimes
@Draconem_Dominus oh yeah. i know some single mothers who raised 7 kids on her own and all the kids turned out fine.

Yup it can work, but it needs specific style of parenting

Some people are just amazing and can do that.

> True, but could have the alternative where they do have wealth e.g. like this divorce style culture now
@Dark that's true. you'd have to marry well, though. the twist here is people are saying marriage and having a husband is not independent woman lifestyle, so a lot of them just don't marry or ask the boyfriend to pitch in

But they are anomalies

They aren’t the usual crowd, so they shouldn’t be accepted as the normal household

> But they are anomalies
@Draconem_Dominus very true. sometimes if the 1-parent household has a lot of kids, the kids tend to start taken on parental roles, too.

The best and most successful and most common household that works has two parents, a masculine and feminine parent, one who is more authoritative and one who is more emotionally available

I think id be a good dad

I think JP does a really good chat on that too where he talks about how the dad is usually rough housing etc. which is this hugely important development aspect

Yup isoboto, I was the co-parent of my household

im pretty sure im a coparent rn actually

> I think JP does a really good chat on that too where he talks about how the dad is usually rough housing etc. which is this hugely important development aspect
@Dark yeah. and, also, the dad is usually the one teaching all the handy skills. there are women out there who knows how to work mechanics etc. but it's usually the men that teach the kids tricks to get by life

my mom had a baby with her bf and he doesn't live with us so its mostly me and mom who take care of him