@Tervy lmao shut up ya fuckin loudmouth

matthew plz take your sip and calm down good sir

It's too early for sip

https://imgur.com/gallery/k5aN8SI

O B S E S S E D

@Tervy what the fuck is that and where can I play it

might be from the new call of duty <:benis:239668961011040257>

https://twitter.com/beeple/status/1148006406139891713 sauce

beautiful

@Jake care to explain this, fren?

it's ok if they say it outside the platform

Being mean to Captain Disillusion is never ok

<:deletdis:560200664794398741>

So, my manager pulled me into her office and tasked me with inventorying my stock, every day, for the next month. Apparently the count we did last week came up almost $1000 short, so either we missed something substantial, or someone is stealing from me. I know I'M not shitting where I eat, so I'm pretty fucking pissed.

https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/news-events/fda-investigation-potential-link-between-certain-diets-and-canine-dilated-cardiomyopathy

@Julian and anyone else who owns dog(s)

https://www.theonion.com/osha-special-ops-team-raids-local-office-after-receivin-1835903686

So my ice cream machine broke 3 weeks ago, I waited 2 weeks for the replacement part to come, and then the replacement parts immediately broke. I am so fucking angry

do you mean a freezer

No, I mean my ice cream vending machine

I'm fat, but I'm not "have my own personal ice cream machine" fat

What broke?

god said

ice machine 🅱roke

<:googlethink:328536447219138561>

Matthews dick fell off

@Matthew so, i need to hear an opinion from an expert vendinch machine care taker

your machines accept bills, right?

what's more likely to be accepted:
- a perfectly printed bill fresh out of an ATM
- a really folded and crumpled old bill

neither

@Cole depends heavily on the machine. Some can be very finicky. I have coin mechs that will reject state quarters. Generally, you should destress the bill before you put it in, so that it feeds correctly. It's passed through rollers that take it from a horizontal position to a vertical one, so overly stiff bills tend to fold over and get rejected, and limp bills do the same

Also, Bill readers are supposed to be cleaned weekly with isopropyl and a microfiber, since bills leave a lot of lint (since they're actually a cotton blend)

I recently though I was gonna finally get a coin changer machine to accept my bill on the first time because I literally took it out of an ATM like 30 minutes ago

but lmao nope, after like 10 refusals some maintenance guy came, motioned at me to hand him the bill

I'm like "yay he'll give me change and I don't have to fuck with this machine"

he takes it, folds and crumples it HARD

then just aligns the front of the bill so the reader takes it

instantly accepted

Lmao

Yeah, his reader probably needs to be cleaned, then. The rollers are so gunked up that they need the bill to be all lumpy so it can grab onto it

also, cotton

I think that's just US dollars, or dollars in general

anyway, it was a real ??? moment, I was looking at the guy like he was literal jesus

They sell these cleaning cards for machines, they're shaped like bills, but they're soaked in isopropyl. You just feed it into the machine 4-5 times and it'll clean out most of the gunk.