Message from @Deleted User 57835c2c
Discord ID: 300276586370826240
my theory is it's all the same
NPD, BPD, Sociopathy, Psychopathy
with the labels NPD and BPD containing some non-NPD/BPD people
who have a diffferent kind of hangup
I call it "low self esteem narcissism"
need a better name
well ultimately all these little "disorders" are just really simplified designations for complex thought/psychodynamic/behavior patterns
no, everything is simple
nothing is complicated in principle
this is just how people obscure things
by saying "its complicated"
I have an allergy to that
whatever cannot be reduced to something simple, is not understood
the fundamental thing about me is I feel chronically empty and unsatisfied and I am extremely angry over how shitty everyone and everything is to make me feel that way, an I bounce from thing to thing trying to find something not shitty
yeah that sounds like my second category
I've examined myself pretty thoroughly at this point
if there is a void in you
you can't fill it up, it's simply impossible
it will suck everything up
everything will be transient
the only real answer is to let go of stuff like that, rediscover vulnerability
basically, do exactly the opposite
everything else is just feeding the beast
I used to seek things to fill the void, but then I realized the struggle to fill it is a great impetus in my life, it is my engine
I do not really desire stability anymore
except in some key areas
and with key people
I have been doing psychiatry lately, I really like it a lot. I think I will try to specialize in it, especially working with the craziest people at their worst
I'm a little annoyed I gave you the benefit of the doubt for so long, but I still believe everything I said at the time
I am the sort of person who needs progressively more stimulus in life
and now at this point in my adult life I basically need people to be screaming and attacking each other and having withdrawal seizures and stuff just to feel alive at the end of the day
if every day is not a literal riot then I go home feeling empty
do you realize you're just getting worse?
am I? look at the direction of the world
you'll be a pathetic shell at like 50
by the time I am 50 we might see global starvation
talk to me
please
dont bounce off me
no I am serious