Message from @fallot
Discord ID: 302162734257274880
in defense
ensconces away with true personality
beyond a layer of narcissistic defense
what this means though is that emotional development essentially ceases outside of chance development
the true self remains stuck as that child
any growth, incidental
the defenses are iron, but since they aren't authentic, they can't actually hold
so they are constantly replaced, depending on stimulus
if that is not possible, attack is used
yes, which I know I do
anything to avoid being forced to come to terms with the sensitive child locked within
for some people, it's impossible
they will never do it
and unfortunately this whole thing is a vicious cycle of positive feedback
to you it will seem a jolly good idea to double down on what people may perceive as your faults
the only way out is painful, it's diminishing
but after it's done, true growth can occur
you're not a dumb guy, I'm sure you know why you are as you are
I won't poke into it
it's your business
but IF you want to truly be yourself and be comfortable with yourself, and actually have some true worth that doesn't crumble away to ash and needs to be covered up by various crazy antics
you've got to come to terms with it, and you've got to come to terms with how you are now being bad
bad for you, and bad in general
no excuses
murica
sometimes you just gotta have that burg
hahahahahaha
wait wait
I think you can do it @Deleted User 57835c2c there are people way worse off than you
I am not certain why what I keep locked up inside needs to change if I can deal with my life as is
then there is no helping you
epsecially since I basically see myself as using revolting tactics as a way to deal with revolting people/situations
I am rewarding like with like
when you make that decision that no, this isn't okay
then there can be some progress down the path I have vaguely lain out
it's your choice
stop thinking about other people
think about yourself
that habit may not be easy to kill
instead of thinking about other people and talking about yourself