**redneck**: You would be a redneck if:

You need one more [hole punched] in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the [4-H] Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You [mow your lawn] and find a car.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

[Taking a dip] has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You think mud [rasslin'] should be an Olympic sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and [Minutemaid] [taste test].

You've ever lost a loved one to [kudzu].

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a [picture frame].

Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

You think that [potted meat] on a saltine is an [hors] d'ouvre.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your momma has "ammo" on her [Christmas list].

You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
*[Hey], it's [the truth].*
*(<http://redneck.urbanup.com/954175>)* *9 more results*

-df queef

**queef**: [Vaginal flatulence].
*His [coital] [sojourn] was brief;
He came, and withdrew like a thief.
As his [trouser snake] left,
Though, there belched from her cleft
A most satisfactory queef.*
*(<http://queef.urbanup.com/5020119>)* *9 more results*

im bored send me videos

but i'm making hot chocolate rn

-8ball am I sex addict

No

im thirsty for you

Liar

hahaha

hot chocolate!

-df 21

define cum.

**21**: [9+10]
*"[You stupid]!" "[No I] not!" "[What's 9+10]?" "21" "You stupid!"*
*(<http://21.urbanup.com/7878303>)* *9 more results*

yep

-df hot chocolate

**Hot Chocolate**: One [sexy hot] brown-skinned girl [thats] [a dime piece].
*[Thats] [one] [hot chocolate]!*
*(<http://hot-chocolate.urbanup.com/538673>)* *9 more results*

hot chocolate

it's hot

it's cooling rn

-df dick cheese

**Dick cheese**: Stuff in your dick that you get when you don't wash it

If you [have it] then you may experience [permanent] [virginity]
*Person 1: [ewww] he has [dick cheese], he's never [getting laid]*
*(<http://dick-cheese.urbanup.com/13492763>)* *9 more results*

too hot for me

-df smegma

**Smegma**: A combination of dead skin cells, seminal fluid and excess urine.

It's a natural process that starts during the mid-teen years. The dead skin cells are from the connective tissue that held the foreskin to the [glans] during childhood.

As soon as you hit your teens, this tissue breaks down which then allows you to [retract] your foreskin.

[Smegma] can be [washed out] with plain water. Make sure you carefully retract your foreskin. Smegma usually builds up behind the inner end of the glans (just behind the bell-shaped tissue known as the corona). Soap isn't advised for use to keep skin irritation to a minimum, especially around such a sensitive area.

[In case of] [smegma], circumcision isn't necessary. Smegma isn't a disease or a form of fungus. Just follow the above steps.
*"You have [a case of] [smegma]. Just use [plain] water to wash it out."*
*(<http://smegma.urbanup.com/6987135>)* *9 more results*

-df smegma

**Smegma**: A combination of dead skin cells, seminal fluid and excess urine.

It's a natural process that starts during the mid-teen years. The dead skin cells are from the connective tissue that held the foreskin to the [glans] during childhood.

As soon as you hit your teens, this tissue breaks down which then allows you to [retract] your foreskin.

[Smegma] can be [washed out] with plain water. Make sure you carefully retract your foreskin. Smegma usually builds up behind the inner end of the glans (just behind the bell-shaped tissue known as the corona). Soap isn't advised for use to keep skin irritation to a minimum, especially around such a sensitive area.

[In case of] [smegma], circumcision isn't necessary. Smegma isn't a disease or a form of fungus. Just follow the above steps.
*"You have [a case of] [smegma]. Just use [plain] water to wash it out."*
*(<http://smegma.urbanup.com/6987135>)* *9 more results*

bro why am i home alone so much

define cum.

-df home alone

**Home Alone**: 1. From the 1990 Chris Columbus hit, "Home Alone" in which an eight year-old, who is accidentally left behind while his family flies to France for Christmas, has to defend his home against idiotic burglars. To "home alone" something is to set up traps, usually to the physical disadvantage of [the intruder]. The following are just examples of the painful surprises included in this term:

*[Blowtorch] rigged to door

*Fan and feathers rigged to [tripwire]

*Heated iron attached to lightbulb

*Tar on basement steps, massive nail hidden in one step
*Example One:
"[Jesus], somebody broke into my car! That's the second time this year!"

"Dude, [you better] [home alone] it."*
*(<http://home-alone.urbanup.com/876132>)* *9 more results*

-df cum

**Cum**: [The fluid] containing [sperm] [ejaculated] from a man when he has an erection.
*Sarah was sitting on the chair, in only a red thong. She had her legs spread wide [over the chair], and her brown hair [flowed] over her bare boobs. I was getting excited, Sarah was so hot. She ripped off [the thong] as she stood up, walked right past me and [shut the door] I had just passed through. She turned to face me, her feet strongly planted, and forced her hand down my pants. I [unblocked] my belt, and she tore my pants down to my ankles. She fell to her knees and removed my boxers. I could feel it, my dick was already starting to swell up. God, Sarah was hot. She started on the tip of my dick. She [swirled] her tongue around it a little. She almost immediately started to massage my balls vigorously. She then took on my whole dick, deep throating it. I could feel it, I was gonna cum. My balls were urging for it to come out. I moaned, it felt so good. I [grunted] a little as it started, and I cummed inside of her mouth. She pulled away, and swallowed, then smiled. My shirt was torn off and she was rubbing my dick with her hands. Then, she was on her hands and knees. I rubbed my dick, and slipped on the condom from the bowl. My dick was throbbing and I was excited. I slowly slid into her pussy and she squeaked quietly. I began to thrust myself. Faster and faster, I wasn't controlling myself, and she bounced and bounced, moaning and moaning until she screamed. We changed positions a few times, then my cum [splurged] out at work just thinking about it. Then my assistant asked for some.*
*(<http://cum.urbanup.com/10842959>)* *9 more results*

-df foreskin

**Foreskin**: [Nature's] [tarp]
*My foreskin is [all natural] baby, it's [nature's] [tarp]!*
*(<http://foreskin.urbanup.com/6742066>)* *9 more results*

I eat that

-df horny

**horny**: What your going to be after [reading] all these [freaky] definitions below or above [mine].
*The only reason you searched up horny on [urban dictionary] is to read the [erotic] definitons so you can either [fap] or finger yourself to it. :)*
*(<http://horny.urbanup.com/12039487>)* *9 more results*

-df skin hug

**hug**: A hug can be between friends, relatives, man and woman, and human and animal, as well as animal to animal. A hug is an expression of warmth and [friendliness] with arms outstretched around the other. Hugs are used as an expression of love, kindness, sympathy, friendliness, [greetings] and used sometimes to say goodbye. Hugs, or cuddles provide a sense of intimacy. If there is chemistry between two people when hugging, then a [tingling sensation] can occur.
*She says:- "your hugs are amazing!"
He says, "Why, it's just [a hug]? Lol"
She says, "'Cause they make me [tingle]!"
He says, "Where do they make you tingle, lol"
She says, "All over!"
He says, "Lol."

The hugs made her tingle because she had [chemistry] for the guy, something that doesn't come along very often!*
*(<http://hug.urbanup.com/4755554>)* *9 more results*