**Asshole**: A person who is intentionally cruel, obnoxious and heartless. Assholes are most often male. A female who follows these traits is referred to [as a bitch]. Assholes can take any form. Knowing this allows you to spot assholes at any time or place.

Be warned that an asshole is not synonymous for douchebag. A [genuine asshole] is the lethal combination of intelligence and [arrogance]. Assholes will attempt to [humiliate] you, and unfortunately, they generally succeed due to their intelligence. Douchebags, on the other hand, consist of only arrogance. They only think they are smart. Douchebags do not know they are douchebags because of their extreme [egotistic] tendencies. However, the asshole will always know they are an asshole.

Though the appearance of assholes does not follow a stereotype, behavior does. Assholes tend to:
-ENJOY NOTHING MORE THAN BEING AN ASSHOLE.
-Smirk. A lot.
-Argue for the sake of arguing.
-Laugh when they win an argument.
-Never let you hear the end of the argument they won.
-Participate in arguments they know they are not going to win.
-Not stop arguing until you give up because there's no point in arguing anymore even though you know [you won].
-Associate your giving up with their victory.
-Point out every flaw your argument has, regardless of the subject. All the asshole cares about is making people look stupid.
-Physically push you around to [get under] your skin.
-Ambiguously answer your questions.
-Deny that they are assholes out loud.
*"Wow. [Max] just argued unintelligently with me for an hour [and a half] and he thinks he won."
"[Jeez], what an asshole."*
*(<http://asshole.urbanup.com/7041191>)* *9 more results*

^

based

aHahahah

dude we can't type lmao

-df tang

**tang**: [ab]. [poontang]: pussy, vagina, sex, poon

also...[space age] orange flavored drink.
*Those astronauts have really [got it made]. I saw in the [newspaper] that they get all [the Tang] they want.*
*(<http://tang.urbanup.com/8803>)* *9 more results*

might as well Vc

-df redneck

**redneck**: You would be a redneck if:

You need one more [hole punched] in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the [4-H] Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You [mow your lawn] and find a car.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

[Taking a dip] has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You think mud [rasslin'] should be an Olympic sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and [Minutemaid] [taste test].

You've ever lost a loved one to [kudzu].

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a [picture frame].

Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

You think that [potted meat] on a saltine is an [hors] d'ouvre.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your momma has "ammo" on her [Christmas list].

You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
*[Hey], it's [the truth].*
*(<http://redneck.urbanup.com/954175>)* *9 more results*

-df queef

**queef**: [Vaginal flatulence].
*His [coital] [sojourn] was brief;
He came, and withdrew like a thief.
As his [trouser snake] left,
Though, there belched from her cleft
A most satisfactory queef.*
*(<http://queef.urbanup.com/5020119>)* *9 more results*

im bored send me videos

but i'm making hot chocolate rn

-8ball am I sex addict

No

im thirsty for you

Liar

hahaha

hot chocolate!

-df 21

define cum.

**21**: [9+10]
*"[You stupid]!" "[No I] not!" "[What's 9+10]?" "21" "You stupid!"*
*(<http://21.urbanup.com/7878303>)* *9 more results*

yep

-df hot chocolate

**Hot Chocolate**: One [sexy hot] brown-skinned girl [thats] [a dime piece].
*[Thats] [one] [hot chocolate]!*
*(<http://hot-chocolate.urbanup.com/538673>)* *9 more results*

hot chocolate

it's hot

it's cooling rn

-df dick cheese

**Dick cheese**: Stuff in your dick that you get when you don't wash it

If you [have it] then you may experience [permanent] [virginity]
*Person 1: [ewww] he has [dick cheese], he's never [getting laid]*
*(<http://dick-cheese.urbanup.com/13492763>)* *9 more results*

too hot for me

-df smegma

**Smegma**: A combination of dead skin cells, seminal fluid and excess urine.

It's a natural process that starts during the mid-teen years. The dead skin cells are from the connective tissue that held the foreskin to the [glans] during childhood.

As soon as you hit your teens, this tissue breaks down which then allows you to [retract] your foreskin.

[Smegma] can be [washed out] with plain water. Make sure you carefully retract your foreskin. Smegma usually builds up behind the inner end of the glans (just behind the bell-shaped tissue known as the corona). Soap isn't advised for use to keep skin irritation to a minimum, especially around such a sensitive area.

[In case of] [smegma], circumcision isn't necessary. Smegma isn't a disease or a form of fungus. Just follow the above steps.
*"You have [a case of] [smegma]. Just use [plain] water to wash it out."*
*(<http://smegma.urbanup.com/6987135>)* *9 more results*

-df smegma

**Smegma**: A combination of dead skin cells, seminal fluid and excess urine.

It's a natural process that starts during the mid-teen years. The dead skin cells are from the connective tissue that held the foreskin to the [glans] during childhood.

As soon as you hit your teens, this tissue breaks down which then allows you to [retract] your foreskin.

[Smegma] can be [washed out] with plain water. Make sure you carefully retract your foreskin. Smegma usually builds up behind the inner end of the glans (just behind the bell-shaped tissue known as the corona). Soap isn't advised for use to keep skin irritation to a minimum, especially around such a sensitive area.

[In case of] [smegma], circumcision isn't necessary. Smegma isn't a disease or a form of fungus. Just follow the above steps.
*"You have [a case of] [smegma]. Just use [plain] water to wash it out."*
*(<http://smegma.urbanup.com/6987135>)* *9 more results*

bro why am i home alone so much

define cum.

-df home alone

**Home Alone**: 1. From the 1990 Chris Columbus hit, "Home Alone" in which an eight year-old, who is accidentally left behind while his family flies to France for Christmas, has to defend his home against idiotic burglars. To "home alone" something is to set up traps, usually to the physical disadvantage of [the intruder]. The following are just examples of the painful surprises included in this term:

*[Blowtorch] rigged to door

*Fan and feathers rigged to [tripwire]

*Heated iron attached to lightbulb

*Tar on basement steps, massive nail hidden in one step
*Example One:
"[Jesus], somebody broke into my car! That's the second time this year!"

"Dude, [you better] [home alone] it."*
*(<http://home-alone.urbanup.com/876132>)* *9 more results*