Yeah, it's why i stay away from them. Never had a good experience when being around one long term. Lol.

Yeah, @KenneticEnergy. That's true, the shrink i spoke to then said i likely have PTSD from it. He was honestly shocked i was even alive, and none of us even knew how bad my odds were then. Looking back now knowing more, it's insane how slim my odds are and have been. XD I'm feeling pretty confused sometimes how i am even alive too. Lmfao. Now i'm just trying to focus on harnessing what i have now, and getting my life in order so i can build something with whatever time i get left.

True, but sunlight can kill me. So that kinda puts a problem with that. And night walks are a bit dangerous where i live, wild animals and the occasional meth head might pop up and end my story. XD I won't go down easy, but i rather not put myself in the position to begin with. Lol.
And yeah, right now i'm trying to get a hold on my health so it doesn't get worse. While also trying to secure an income, it's a pain. But i'm gonna try at least.

Er well, i'm at least trying to slow down my health's degredation at least. XD

I find nature interesting, but it's something i prefer observing from a distance. Given how things are for me, i'm not exactly compatible. And yeah, my dream is pretty modest. I just wanna get a stable life, nothing less. Nothing more really. If i can wake up one day in my own bed that i own, in a home i own. With a waifu laying next to me to hold. And have an income capable of supporting my life until the end, i'll be happy.

Yeah, i know. And agree. As to my health, let's just say i got multiple things trying to kill me at any given time. And something as simple as going to the store could be a one way trip due to one of them. So i am well aware of my own mortality. I'm just hoping i can enjoy the time i get before the end arrives.

And yeah, i've had my own experiences with death. Personally i'm an Atheist but i do believe in an afterlife as result. And let's just say i believe in reincarnation. I got past lives myself.

Yeah, it does suck. But it's what i'm in, just trying to ink something out of it anyways. Lol.

@KenneticEnergy: I wasn't aware, until i died. When i came back, i started getting flashbacks of memories i shouldn't have. Due to this, and some research on the more recent ones as a test to see how accurate my memories are. I found that there's definitely something to it.

I don't just remember dying on a battlefield, and years later find out the battle not only took place but the details match. Down to the way it went. That's uncanny.

The more recent of my past lives that's actually provable through just basic research is one where i fought in the American Civil War. The day i apparently died was October 13th, 1864. Not sure who i was but i know i didn't wanna be captured, and i knew when my fellow soldiers retreated that i was on my own and gonna die. So i went berserk. And died, but i did take some with me. Lol.

? Okay, you can doubt if you like. I really don't care, it's alright. I figured we were on the topic, i don't think of myself as special. I died pretty dumbly to be honest, hardly a special person. Lol.

I don't consider myself "special".
Maybe, given i'm currently breathing. Lmfao.

I was a nobody, that's just it.

I didn't turn the tide of the war, at all. I was just some rando that died in a small battle. XD

Pretty much, if i dodged the shot that hit me i probably wouldn't of died on that day. Lol.

It does. I hate the Confederates now too, never knew why until those memories came flooding back. My dad's a real "rebel pride" kind of guy so my hatred of it makes no sense given i have every inclination from this life to fondly like the Confederates. Lol.

Even being raised in the fucking bible belt didn't stop me from still carrying over whatever beef i had with them. Lol. I wonder what the source of it is, i honestly don't remember. I just remember how i died.

You would think that, but there's a bit more to it from my guess.

Lol.

Yeah, my soul carries all my memories. Old and new, however. The deaths i have had in this life jarred some of those memories from it into my brain when i was revived. Causing random bursts of memories i shouldn't have. Sometimes i have a rough idea who i was or at least what happened in that life. Others i simply know how i died/felt while dying. It's hard to really convey to those who don't know what it's like to go through this.

That's my hypothesis on why i even am aware.

True, but why would i have someone else's memories?
And can i verify it? Probably not with my current means, i'm no scientist. But i'm sure the basis for what i believe is somewhere in science if we wait long enough. It's just difficult to do because well, we're likely dealing with parts of our reality we can't even interact with under normal circumstances.
As to coming back to a note. I do have the urge to return to that battlefield. I don't know why, exactly. I just have the urge to.

Lol. That would be funny.

I wouldn't be surprised @Psychedelic Corpse Fucker.

But i doubt i am insane.

The question is what health issues would do that? I don't know.

Well, far as i understand i am being truthful. I apologize if i'm being a bit hard to follow. I don't open up about this frequently...

...Yeah.

That's...Not something i like remembering. I remember more than just one life, you know. Imagine seeing your 6 year old son running around the house tearing it apart turning furniture on end screaming in Old German...

That's something my mom went through.

I had a bit of an...Identity crisis.

Lmfao. Hell and regroup. I like that.

Possibly, if souls exist they could technically inhabit anything.

Anything of significant biomass anyways or some way of housing it.

When i die this time. This is what i'm gonna do:
1) Go to Hell.
2) Have an orgy.
3) Go on vacation.

Well according to the last witch i was around i already do. Lmfao.

I would be more like a slime monster, so no harm no foul. 😉

You can't fuck what's goo!

It just moves away from you!

No.

I would be fucking the succubi in the Asmodeus district. 😉 Several at once.

Awe don't leave, we're just dicking around.

But yeah, i plan to go on fucking vacation when i die. If i'm right, and get to do it. I won't be showing back up until like 250 years from now or so. Lol.

I dunno.

Is that good or bad..? I don't know.

I got the image of a neko in my head doing a twirl now. XD

o.o Nope. Nope...Nope.

I don't know how to respond, so i'm just gonna ramble now. Lol.

Felix is fucking hilarious though. XD
Personally i would love to switch places with Suburu. Be like: "You mean i can never die, and will just keep reloading the same life until i don't fuck up? And there's magic here that can heal ALL my problems? AND i get a harem? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!"

Though that's not my first pick out of the Isekais i have seen recently.

It's one of the ones i wouldn't mind going to.
On the topic of that, guys. Which one would you go to if given the option and what would you do?

Okay.

How so? I've just been hanging here. Figured i would since i haven't swung by here in awhile. XD

Love your avatar dude, reminds me of that one video with Felix being like: "I'm a dude." I think we both may know which video it is on the tube. Lol.

Guess i'm gonna check out other spots for now, have a nice day everyone. 😃

How's everyone here?

Ah, yeah i can understand. I'm planning to buy an insert from the Doll House to try out the TPE material...Any tips? It's my first online purchase through shipping ever...So i got no clue, figured since some of you chaps on here likely have made such purchases. That you would have some tips for me.

I hope i'm not bothering anyone by coming here for that, but i figured it was worth a shot.

Lol. Why i stay away from most drugs in general.

Question for anyone in chat, would Phil mind me messaging him here if i did asking about my inquires on ordering a insert? I don't wanna bother him if i don't have to...I just ain't too sure how i could go about it, purchases online in general is something i've never done. I usually buy cash in person. So it's a bit of a leap, i don't know which method is best, or what taxes/shipping bumps the price up to. I would love to get some advice from someone whose more familiar than i about this sort of process. Also why i'm posting this in public chat, 'cause i think maybe it'll help give me a better shot at getting answers. Lol.

I think that's his name.

Okay, i guess i could. Thanks. Wish me luck on getting it. XD First step in the doll life, haha.

..? Where's that?

Ah man, i never have been able to get into TFM's server...I always arrive too late to get the invite link. Lol.
But thanks for the advice. Much appreciated. I guess i'll just go to the online service thing.

I was wanting to know 2 main things, firstly: How much would it cost to get a TPE insert for a doll in total plus shipping/taxes? And second, what sort of process does he think is best to transfer cash bills into digital format for the purchase that has the least loss due to transaction fees. Privacy is also good, but i am more worried of loosing so much money i can't make the purchase. Lol. I am broke at present so i prefer to not loose too much money. Thinking of this like a late birthday gift for myself.
Also a bonus question, once i have the insert. What sort of lubricants should i avoid and/or not use due to possibly damaging the material? I got some clue on that, but asking the man himself would be better than a guess to me.

And thanks HHH, love your videos. 😃

Also i live in the USA, if he needs to know what country i'm in.

Oh okay thanks, i'll bear that in mind. I was wanting to purchase just the insert on the site, which from the looks is similar to a Fleshlight. I figured i could dip my toes in just buying that part first to figure it out. Plus it'll give me some clue next time i purchase from the site itself. I got 30 bucks on me, the price listing said 13 i think. But i would like to know the total likely cost so i can get an idea of whether or not it's in range of my 30 bucks. Lol. Likely a little of an odd strategy to some, but i figured it's best for me. Given the insert will reflect how the doll feels when i finally saved enough to get one someday, as it's the same part. And 30 bucks is less of a loss than 3K like you said. So, yeah. Probably will be happy with the doll i get though when i get it, but this will at least help me understand what i'm doing better.

Also looking forward to the vids, wanted to say that separate from that message @Happy Humble Hermit. I haven't been to your channel in a bit, but that's how i tend to operate. I'll be gone from a channel for awhile, then boom. Binge watch multiple videos from that person. haha. XD

But yeah, that's the situation i'm in with ordering this. I didn't know if coming here or trying to figure out how to get to customer service on the site was best, the thought crossed my mind. But i didn't know if a bot could answer my question if i got stuck with a bot. As it's a fairly weird question, i think.

Eh, good point. 22 at present, and yeah. You right, i should be. But i figured, eh screw it. Why not?

Haha, i guess that's a good way to put it.
Health sucks, can't find work. Been trying to get disability but doing that alone practically is difficult. I'm pretty boned, but i'm trying to ink out something before i die. Lol.

Problem is i'm unemployable. Health problems i got are bad enough that no sane boss would higher me.(Plus i qualify for disability according to their own standards...But they love to just dick with people.)
And that's what i'm trying to do, but appealing is difficult given walking out in the sun can kill me. And they only open during day, plus i'm looking at surgery again soon. Among other things, life's pretty chaotic and i can't stomp everything down. I just figured i could at least do this, kinda a teaser if i manage to lock my stuff down. Sort a speak.

I agree, yes. And cool. I didn't know your age was that close to mine. @Happy Humble Hermit. I've been trying to do that, and hope to do more. But i am also being realistic, i won't go beyond what i can physically do. Because that will kill me, so i gotta adhere to what i can. And work on that, unfortunately this means i'm gonna have a hard fight to go through it seems. But i haven't given up entirely yet. Haha.

@YuriBezmenov, that's hardly the only thing. But it's one of them, and while clothing choices and masks will slow it down. It won't stop it, only buys me time before i go into full on shock and die. Plus my skin seems to be falling apart now when exposed, too. Something that didn't happen nearly as severely as it used to, which means it's getting worse coupled with other symptoms. Planning to go to the allergy specialist i go to so we can talk about what this all means. But the clinic is 2 counties away, which is a 2 hour trip just getting there. So difficult to get there, had to put my GI tract issues first given that's likely gonna end me sooner. But hey, i'm working on it. One nail at a time. Haha.

On top of the sun issue, i have many other health problems. Some actively trying to off me, others are just making my life hell. But i'm using my will to try and push through it. Hopefully, it pays off.

I thought about indoor jobs, freelance ect. But the main problem is stability, financial stability is key here. And if i don't have that i am dead in the water. As i can't get by as easily solo as most due to my health, so it's gonna hit me harder. The disability is basically there to keep me alive, i hope to do something to earn extra money that's not livable wages. But something to ease my life later if possible. As i simply can't work a livable wage.
I am disabled and so am trying to get as much a leg up as possible, i got 3 types of seizures apparently too.(According to my doctor, i'm showing symptoms of focals, and myoclonic. Already got PNES.) One of which can incapacitate me for a whole day. Lol.

@Happy Humble Hermit. Working at McDonalds is just not gonna happen for me, not because i wouldn't be willing. But because my health would stop me. I got lucky to get 30 bucks on me, didn't think explaining my financial situation was relevant to the question i had. I'm sorry if i agitated you.

Thanks for the advice @Mr.Black, i'm gonna get off here. You all have a good one.

Thanks, haha. I'll check that on my way signing out.

Ironically, my mom was single for a bit. It wasn't bad, only problem was the area we lived in at that time...

I don't hate all single moms, but yeah. Most of them are shit. Like 93% minimum are trash. Lol.

And you're right Property, it is a disservice. Definitely.

Though in my case, my dad has only been a bad influence on my life. In almost every aspect...Unless i looked at it as things NOT to do. Unfortunately i take after him more than i like.

I don't need cocaine, but i do need my painkillers. But eh, i'll get my next batch for this month soon enough...

Ah, well my condolences to the child.
And good on you Revel, hope you find him.

You're welcome dude, hopefully it all works out and you guys hangout. Got a lot of time to make up though. 15 years...Damn.

From anxiety?

If it's anxiety, odds are it's just nervousness over your dad. If that's the only major issue, but that's just a guess on my part. I barely know anything about you so i could be wrong.

Ah, makes sense then. The shaking might just be diet then like Yuri suggested might be the case.

Well, i'm gonna check on some other stuff guys, see ya later. Hope your dad and you hit it off Revel. Have a nice day.

Lol. Welp, got him there. Not too knowledgeable on the whole ordeal. But i know EIC has said some pretty dumb things regarding MGTOW i think...So...Yeah, he got roasted.

No, not TFM. The roast i think was Undead Chronic, if memory serves. What TFM did was like a light buttering before the roast. I'm meanwhile in the back, sipping tea with a smoke laughing the whole way. Least until something actually harmful happens to someone i like, that they don't deserve...'Cause that sucks.

Eh, drama will happen when something like MGTOW takes off to a critical mass point...It's inevitable like all groups of people with a vague and roughly common ideal. Happens.

I'm not too fond of drama, but i will laugh at it if it's funny. Especially if there's a lolcow involved.

Yeah, i love a good dumpster fire though. It's funny.

Yeah, that's pretty good. It's like they think that matters if they got nothing to say.

Not knowledgeable enough to take a side Repo. But i would like to know more. I'll brb though, got some things to take care of.

Damn, my jaw line is more sharp edged than those pics...Is that a good thing??? XD

Been called one before, then got called worse than one. Lmfao.

I'm serious, the two guys then ran away with their tails between their legs. It's was hilarious. Lot of backstory there...But they were basically apart of some weird mix of Christianity and paganism...Real fucking weird, i'm still confused how i managed to pull that off. But i guess i really am that intimidating..

Me and my family get a laugh out of that whole ordeal now. At the time, it was still funny but more confusing.