The way you're putting yourself across right now is only confirming we're making the right decision.
Those Facebook posts aren't going to change anything for you unless you have the will to action their commands; its entirely up to you to repent of your sin, put your trust in Christ and obey the Gospel.
Wargus Christi is not all-inclusive. Its not the open arms of the church, its the strong arm of the church. Its an exclusive honor group founded in the understanding that whatever weakness we tolerate in ourselves spreads to others, and the weakness we tolerate in others spreads to ourselves. I appreciate you acknowledge you are lost, we all were astray. But at the very least I'd want to see you have taken the basic real life steps toward being reconciled to God and training your body. What I think is most helpful for you right now is returning to the Eastern Orthodox, making your peace with God there, and returning to us a little further down the line. When I let you among our men I want you to be in a position where you're able to build them up as they build you up.
I bare you no ill will friend. For now its best we help you through DMs, as @Psalmist offered.
