In my expereince, most of that comes down to a set of boundaries/rules and a moderation style that is't too disruptive to the community (while still keeping it safe and pleasent to be in).

Anything questionable or hazy with either and you get a lot of users taking advantage and being dicks.

"Free speech" has its limits everywhere though. Especially in places where people can show you the door if they don't care for what you have to say. Sadly, respecting that choice and finding a place that suits your own needs is an adult characteristic not everyone has.

When that happened to me, by whatever cause, I just went on and found a new place to settle.

That is, if there's the option, after fighting to keep a server going swimmingly.

Occasionally meaning I took over. >.>

On this server or in general? Because both have set limitations.