you can only lead by example

and by not letting them know what they did wrong, they won't be able to repent of it

repent meaning, acknowledge what you did wrong and ask God for forgiveness

and boy does he forgive

yea they wont like it LOL

they want you under their thumb

of course

both my parents did

they convinced themselves it was ok

and now your life is messed up because of it

i dont know what you do

but its likely theres some kind of addiction or anxiety or sin that is hard to control

anger maybe i dont know, you dont have to tell me

yes we have to become broken before Him

dont just tell your parents what they did wrong, and don't just be like i love you i forgive you and im sorry for being a punk either

did you fear your dad?

so you have to acknowledge they didnt know any better

but that doesnt make it right

jesse would call you a beta for that

thats an illusion

you feeling bad for them is playing God

they arent your responsibility

you were theirs

and they messed up, like most parents do

i got over it too in the way you describe

i love my parents now and i loved them before i forgave them

but my dad scared me when i was a kid

my mom coddled me too much

she mocked me a few times

it could be as small as your mom yelling at you when you did something you werent supposed to

im sure its not that small but it could be that small

and then you got scared, or thought differently about her, broke your 100% trust in her

then that mood becomes your personality over time

because you never told her you know she didnt know any better

and you didnt forgive her to her face

forgive them!

or, apologize for holding it against them

stand up to them

acknowledge what they did wrong, and tell them its ok you recognize they did the best they could and you were wrong for holding it against them

you're not supposed to judge them though

look, everyone who needs to do this sounds like you do

im not going to force you lol

the devil was telling me all the same things

shes such a good person, shes perfect, dont do it now, maybe she's going to be mad, how could you be so ungrateful

thats the devil speaking

same with my dad

bro, to anyone else, they were great

that doesnt mean they didnt offload their sins on me

and if i didnt apologize i would still have fear, i would still get angry, i would still be addicted to pot and jerking off

my life changed so fast after i stood up and made that decision

a part of me died

yes

thank God they're both still alive and it was possible

calmly

i expected it

Jesse said to someone, if she drops dead right there, be ok with it

when you come to Christ HE is your father

when you're a child, a beta, your parents or one of your parents are "god" to you

theres only one throne in your heart

he didnt

but thats up to him

the buck stops with me

im not going to put my kids through what my ancestors all put their kids through

you can always blame it on your parents, and they blame it on their parents, and it goes all the way back to adam who blames it on eve who blames it on the serpent

and you know what the serpent says?

😉 Yea i did it

be an alpha, stand up to your mother, and your father

you like your dad like your dad likes his dad

like them like brothers, they shouldnt be any more special than other people except for the fact that they know you better

forgiveness is not hatred

you're not pouring out judgement

your telling them how what they did affected you

and you're letting it go, and letting them know you're letting it go

oh yeah absolutely

10)%

100%

maybe 99%

maybe someone else hurt you

but this conversation is telling me that the majority advice applies to you

you know, maybe they know you hold this against them subconsciously, and so they're trying to make it up to you

and being nice to you in a fake kind of over-compensating way

because you never forgave them, you're holding it over their heads

yeah you need to break that off

how old are you?

yeah you must bro

that fear in your mind

the doubts

that satan dude

that is the enemy

when you put 100% of your trust in Jesus and His promise

there is no fear there is no doubt

not 99% into Jesus

100%

that is faith

and by faith you are saved

you're putting faith in satan

by believing the lie

that your parents are going to get mad or hurt you or hurt themselves

that forgiveness is a bad thing

satan wants you to believe that forgiveness is bad