If your meetings are just rehashes of announcements, you could plan your meetings better. If guys are being too social in planning chats, then you could structure chats better.

If David just hates talking in general, you could tell him that we all have to do things we don't like do get things we want to get. If it means he has to learn how to talk without feeling pain, so be it. I don't feel giddy at everything I have to do. I don't enjoy clicking through emails, but I've done it tens of thousands of times several times weekly for four years. You just do.

When it comes to autonomy, not everyone needs it. Unless there's some big value lost in him not having autonomy to do, what it is we do not know, then it's not a priority. Objective is the output, not the opportunity.

When it comes to him not checking messages not on Telegram, that's on him. Structured comms (in accordance with the Notice) would give him a call once or twice in the week before a meeting. That doesn't solve his depression.

You can try to offer him what he wants, but he has to be honest with you about what that is. If he can't do that, you can't grant it. Even then, you can only offer what is yours to give and what won't harm the structure.