There can be many reasons for that, not necessarily unhealthy ones.

because you handle grief differently from other people?

If she had to put up with a prolonged struggle, the feelings of relief can mix in with the feelings of grief.

no it was rather sudden

she always said i appeared nonchalant

It might have been precisely because it was so sudden. When my friend died, it had to really sink in for a while.

I was just numb for a long time.

i didnt cry till i got home which was like 15-20 mins after they told me she wouldnt make it

Yes.

maybe its that you are deeply aware that theres nothing you can do, its kind of just a fact that hits you and you instantly accept it

That makes sense for something big like that to connect emotinoally.

I was in shock and denial at first over the death of my friend.

It was the same with my grandparents.

Only when the memories came flooding back did it really connect that they are gone.

well when they asked me if i wanted them to keep her on life support i told them not to

I still talk to my friend in my dreams and in my dream I am not even aware that he died.

It's just not there. Only years later did I start dreaming about his death.

oh yea like if i go to st augustine ill just constantly remember the trips me and my mom made there

A death of someone close to you is a huge event. It's like pushing a huge amount of water through a hose.

It takes a while and it's slower than just the trickle of daily occurrences.

I would not assume that it is a bad reflection of your emotional health or psychological well being.

theres a chance though

if only it werent super expensive i would have gone to a shrink or the like

Lol. I'm glad at least Antifa tells people to look up the police shootings based on race. It's not going to show what they think it shows.

Our parents are very close to us, but part of becoming an adult also requires us to separate from them.

Especially not in conjunction with the crime stats

Thomas Sowell is the one who turned me from left to right.

wow (Tims latest vid) so does this mean there are gender studies kids using mein kampf as research material?

If they start reading up on the facts, they will either be in denial or have to change.

This whole idiocy should have ended with the Harvard study on police shootings already.

so most are in denial then

i think anyone thats failed to be red pilled thus far is incapable of understanding

Fryer Jr, Roland G. An empirical analysis of racial differences in police use of force. No. w22399. National Bureau of Economic Research, 2016.

And the cherry on top of this study is that its author is black.

Police shoot white people at a higher RATE than black people.

they'll literally call that author a race traitor

its actually really childish

they do

but you don't need his study to show that

its bare as day in the police crime stats

and the shooting stats