Message from @xorgy
Discord ID: 499011735810867200
and yeah, I record _everything_.
That is how I got away.
Currently working from home on contract, which is even better.
I think I'm going to try to keep working like this.
**On downside:** a.Depression i didn't know from where, shouldn't need explination why or how bad this is
b.made me socially awkward on account of always think i should feel sorry, or like i did something wrong (repeatedly all the time all day lol)
c. continued my delay of expressing any effects or trying to date women, i'm more sad about the women that liked me that i acted like cardboard to (on account of thinking any shown effection could be considered gross) too but live and learn i guess
**On upside:** .added a bunch of gay-lust i couldn't take seriously which given current trap memes has become calmed and settled since i can joke and relate to other people with less reason being even more confused then me, then usually explain and help them feel less insane/weird about themselves.
b. made me a crazy thrill seeker shut away from people, not wanting harm but wanting danger, i became a very good (amateur race)driver because of this which is still one of the happiest accomplishments even if im unknown/have nothing to show for it outside of small regional stuff. the compliments not 'you are fast' but 'you are fun to watch drive' would of maybe not been possible if i wasn't such a shut away, hours spent practicing alone in middle of nowhere because life itself made no sense to me
find your hill and climb it
> *I'm more sad about the women that liked me that i acted like cardboard to*
No kidding, that one hits you right in the regret.
5 centimeters per second irl lmao
> *added a bunch of gay-lust i couldn't take seriously*
Yeah, this is the weird one, I think there are whole game genres for people with this weird bullshit going on in their heads.
maybe due to the acceptance of homosexuality in the degenerate west.... at least you know it is meaningless
i dont consider gay degenerate
> *5 centimeters per second irl lmao*
Saw that in mid-late teens and it was so horribly depressing I could barely watch it.
didn't say it was, i said the west was degenerate... gay is meaningless unless you mean happy
its hard to get meaning behind what people mean sometimes here, no offense taken just isn't clear
Especially the part at the end where MC is sitting in a cubicle, drinking coffee from a can, writing Java for the man. (seriously, this is exactly the ending of the film)
no worries... i don't make sense most times so i take it as my fault... or you'll think back in 4 years and get it.... either way
You can't read the tone behind my words? You heathen
on gay stuff as 'straight' person: i dono body familiarity is good, and similarly understand perspective from subby side of things (even if not in practice, just theoretically and having thought about) i think has some use, in regards to dating women. its enlightening
I can read your tone, you are mad Nine
am I right guys ? can you read it too ?
Mad as a cuckoo bird
@Ottobon Yeah, I'm sure I can be at peace with it, but I look forward to seeing my kids grow up without it.
When I have kids, that is.
definitely its too much fucking side-work when all you want irl is to do actual monitizable work
What is?
concentrate on relatable and profitable matters...
dealing with abuse and everything that (can)come with it
Hmm.
Anyway, onward and upwards.
I can't keep on this topic, it's making me sweat.
np!
one last thing, imagine all the generations of humans where abuse was common and how much better a time we live in <:feelsscared:477988551116587028>
people wonder why there was war, unrest, and insanity constantly lol
I have to remind myself that the whole "talking things out" is only marginally helpful for me. Exercise is actually better overall (though talking on occasion is good)
yall realize how many eons of raping was occurring long before the concept of love took place? a lot.
Yeah, frankly I can't imagine anything more beautiful than love.
It is so amazing that such a thing can exist.
Waffles
hey soem good news
and we created it! crazy right?!?