When I was 14, I had five cats.
I sharpened their claws, stored their shit, and all the usual cat owner stuff.
So one day, a girl came to me at school and asked me why I smell like cat shit.
At first, I was offended.
But then I realized that the girl was actually Jesus.
I mean, who would've known it was cat shit if not Jesus himself?
So I ran back to her, and begged her for forgiveness.
Like the merciful Lord that she was, she forgave me, and asked me to bring her cat shit.
I brought her all the cat shit I had ever stored in the entirety of my life, and threw it inside her house from the window, shouting "Allahu Alkbar!"
I left, and the other day I went to check on Jesus.
She had eaten it all up.
Not joking.
She had eaten it all, and she had an extremely fat belly.
So I went to her and asked why she smelled like cat shit.
At first she was offended.
But then she realized that I was actually Jesus.
I mean, who would've known it was cat shit if not Jesus himself, right?
So she ran back to me, and begged me for forgiveness.
And like the merciful Lady that I was, I forgave her.
