Actually ive had several friends burn me

I was gonna something awful but that’s a bit too dark so instead I’m gonna day one time my mom held me hostage and tried to stab me with a fork in front of two of my friends

You have bad friends

Not gonna lie but you should drop them

Not really my friends anymore

I have one friend though who decided to brand himself while drunk with a hot butter knife

At least he picked his own name I guess

Tbh the worst injuries I have are self inflicted

Literally just me being clumsy af

One time I was cutting a pizza on a hot pan and didn’t realize the skin on my weinst was burning because it was on the pan

Less drugs would fix that

I was high that time, I just have 1 brain cell

I was like 12 maybe

I’m just fucking stupid

Oooh

You're not stupid

I’m pretty safe when I’m on drugs

Just clumsy

All I do is scream random bullshit like “I USED MY SHIRT AS A DURAG”

Damn, that looks good

Oooh yes. But no mayo on my cornss

@Blaundee ❤

ALSO HAH

I just ate you have no power here

I told my friend that I would her lil Mexican boi

Lol

I also told her I was part of the cartel

I'm part of the Russian mafia

I uh. Yeh

Nvm

Actually a Russian hitman

Cute

Hence the suit

Of course, I’m a lil Mexican boy hence the brown

Weeee

Dude, I feel like shit

Same

But it's just my messed up sleeping schedule

I had a concert last night and because I have curly hair I had to wet it to style it and it was cold outside and I think I got myself sick

That or my allergies are fucking with me