I'm bad with words but if you were dating im sure that sort of behavior would have found a way to manifest itself so hopefully it was you dodging something more harmful

I threatened to kill myself a couple times, and Sean thought I was joking
My boss talked to him and set him straight about it

<:feelsbadman:589929333074821140> that's tough

He's not supposed to talk to me or act meanly to me, otherwise he'll get in trouble

I still really like him a lot, his demeanor around me has really changed and gotten really somber/solemn
Usually he's joking and laughing a lot but he's been really quiet

Maybe he feels bad? No idea. But he could have handled all of that much better.

I wouldn't talk to him for almost 2 weeks, I only just started sort of talking to him againt

the catering season has been really stressful on my mental state too, my attitude and demeanor has completely flipped since the Sean incident and my boss pulled me aside and gave me some resources for counseling and therapy

Damn sorry to hear that broski <:feelsbadman:589929333074821140>

Hope everything gets better

it's probably not going to for a very long time

but I appreciate the sentiment

So are you still trying to pursue a relationship with Sean?

Tonight I gave him some European Christmas cookies in one of those tacky metal tins, he was really happy about it because they're actually his favorite thing

I don't know

He said he doesn't want a relationship but won't expand on it and won't talk to me outside of work

He said he reads my texts (which now I send very few)

I don't know

I dwell on it too much already, I really wanted something serious with him

So essentially there's mixed signals but you're leaning more on its not gonna happen?

As much as I know you would love to be with him, I think the best thing right now is to only try and befriend him.

He's still recovering from his addiction right?

He's 1 year sober

I talked to someone who I trust, who's worked at the casino for 5+ years, she said he's done this before with other women but I guess I'm the first person to self-harm

Yikes

people at the casino have been doing this power move on me

people keep asking me if I'm pregnant and I have to admit to them I'm a virgin LMFAO

Better to be a virgin than a harlett.

it happened tonight while I was giving Sean his cookies, one of the other dishwashers comes over (he's an older dude from Louisiana, he's great) and he goes "LET ME GUESS, ARE YOU PREGNANT TOO?!?!"

"uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh I have never had a man touch me that way"
"oh... my daughter called me today and said she's pregnant"

Kek.

How old is his daughter?

idk

but he said it would be grandchild #14

me and sean: "holy shit"

other people have come up to me in the past couple months and asked if I'm having a child and it's growing very tiresome

Maybe they think you're fat?

Yeah, I am, but my appearance really hasn't changed much asides from losing fat in the past couple months

I'm not like Amberlynn Reid fat, thank god

I keep saying I'm a fucking fat ass and people keep going "NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU LOOK GREAT, YOU'RE OK"

Oh god not her.

<:keksico:643549918035836966>