in memorial of him

All they were that weeks ride on the cock carousel dude - dont beat yourself up over it

i used to give out the prizes to the winners of the tournament

then it just got awkward cuz i wasnt a cute little kid anymore

it was like... heres your watch... i dont play tennis and i dont have a dad. good luck

i guess i would have been good a tennis had my dad not died. and at least i could still be playing that. instead i had to choose HOCKEY.

and i LOVED HOCKEY SO MUCH. it was my first love before producing music. but i cant play cuz i could get hit in the kidney and fucking die. life hates me man!

all these things i put hours of work into. for nothin

I don't hate you

all those wasted days in german hospital beds while my peers were getting ahead

don't compare yourself to them.

thats like the hardest thing to do, i always compare myself to my peers who have eazy breezy lives

When you stop comparing yourself to others you will like a huge weight is off your shoulders

bro my rich ass friends life is E A S Y M O D E

true statement comparing yourself to them....it is hard......but at the moment, and your situation, they have to......must be put to the side

richest man in the entire county is his dad

You should make a list; things you can do and things you want that make you happy

Start with one, accomplish the goal and go down the list

when the list is done, make a new list - rinse and repeat

he gets super hot live in chics with no effort (cuz he can afford to just pay for all their shit) and just plays games and smokes weed all day and owns his own home his parents of course bought him (he keeps up the facade that he worked for it and will have to pay it off for years when its obvious hes taken care of)

Understand your Rome won't be built over night.

I know, I know...............I can't laid in a whorehouse.....and it's rough.......and at my age, not a dad (always wanted to be one) and when I do compare myself to other guys......the blues walks in

sometimes i just dont care about honor or respect or working hard and just wish i was fucking him

let me just have that easy mode life man

instead im on NIGHTMARE difficulty

Yeah, I will agree with that

i want to do something with my life experience man

i feel im on a level where i could potentially make a channel like HHH or Itachi

i just want to have an avenue to be black pill as fuck and spew out my thoughts

Okay.........you probably could..........but FIRST......you must get the basics on your medical situation situated. Call the social workers, the county, get as MUCH help as you can

yeah

get the baseline covered....make the STEP

im fearing having to withdraw from all this shit

then you can take the next step

i just had a beer

taste good? been clean and sober since 2005

damn

good for you, i cant fathom that

im a weed smoker/drinker. no cigs, no other drugs. but ya

copes

crutches, i know