doesn 't mean i fantasize about being a pretty girl

@Deleted User are you sure about that

XDD

i think there is a baseline mode of human behavior that's only unlocked in fight-or-flight situations and in games

where the mind is 100% focused on success and how to achieve it in a narrow sense

what people in sports refer to as the "flow state"

inner dialogue with ourselves is what keeps us in check normally and this inner dialogue dissolves into non-verbal flow thinking when the right conditions are met

if there is a "true person" it can only be understood thru direct action and not any other kind of expression

so if a person is trained in one way or another imo that becomes a part of his true self

but also i do think people are multi-faceted and that which is expressed in one environment is not necessarily the be-all end-all of a person

take soldiers for example

they live according to two wildly different axioms of behavior and outside of PTSD are generally skilled at knowing the correct time for each

you can't say that a soldiers "true self" is the violence he has to enact, nor the perfected protocol of rank he must abide by

perhaps in the case of soldiers the true self is the consciousness that mediates their action

a very densely built-up series of if-then statements

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop

if anything the true self resides in the decision-state of this cycle

but not necessarily in the playing of games

game-playing frees us to "go for the kill" so to speak

i like to use chess as an example of this

because it's such a restrictive game itself, and the physical action of the game is limited to moving pieces around a board, so it's pretty much 100% mental effort

a good chess player bends himself to the destruction of his opponent within an incredibly limited scope

his mind is as focused on this as a fighter pilot on winning a dogfight or a basketball player attempting to snatch the ball from an opposing players hand

a good chess players "goes for the kill" as aggressively and single-mindedly as anyone

games themselves are like a weird sub-reality where everything is replaced with a lesser form of itself

and we accept the rules as a civilizing factor or something

this is where i'm not really coherent

we easily and readily accept rulesets and convention in games for some reason

we've got this concept of recognized success that we need to satisfy

someones gotta figure this shit out before 2025 or we're all fucked

yeah war crimes are not unlike "cheating" in a game

your "win" is not recognized by others

and you can be punished

wow i'm fuckin stupid this morning

also olympic athletes are a good example of this

because they train all year long for a good chunk of their lives to participate in internationally recognized games

the elite of the elite olympic athletes spare no expense in their striving to dominate their chosen game

i just find the whole idea that even in our leisure we often want to be "fully activated" as it were

very fascinating