I bet you never thought to say that

"have you heard of charles murray?"

You should

disagree with them about something mundane, give them a small win, and then get them talking

I hope a hot busty FBI agent assassinates me after giving me a blowie

"well i really enjoy watching youtube reacts of rapheads listening to metal for the first time and then commenting in the comments new stuff for them to check out , i do that about 1 hour a day"

Fbi agents are gay dudes

then start spouting off FBI crime stats

Hot busty fbi agent means adriene davies from amren is gonna fly over from the uk and pay you 100 dollars for you to blow him

"i also run an anonymous twitter account with 1000+ followers where i quote tweet news headlines and type HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

Hey babe are you the prophesied chosen one that will complete the system of German idealism because i wanna put the He in your Hegel haha

Works everytime

Tell her about your gooch

aw shit

I run a podcast

yeah baby

@wyatt

you are right

you mightve heard of it

"The daily shoah"

Pull up the weekly hello on your phone right there

I do

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take as they say

I am an intern at a podcast...... They call me Jamie.

*pulls up the joe rogan experience*

LOL

Al

"listen the average gooch length is around 2 1/2 inches , i have a gooch length of over 4 inches well above average and i have read from several serious sources that its a good indicator of fertility and male power just saying btw do you want any appatizers , the bloomin onion here is really good"

"you can actually see the exact moment YouTube said 'this ain't it chief'"

"i am joe rogan"

^^

um

If she doubts you, immediately leave

chipotle doesn have apptizers pal

tfw started telling someone a story about something a friend did and realized it was a fellow internet racist and had to fudge the details halfway through to not reveal I wasn't talking about someone I knew irl

tell her you hunt pedos on the internet all day

See id tell her I work with confidential information and that would get her curious

i have never even been in a chipotle

Bruh wtf

This is why you do everything with 1 nut out

chipotle gives you mad cow disease